Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Post Xmas Flu

We had a great Christmas, blah blah blah, you can read about it below, but come Boxing Day, I was loaded with can only be diagnosed as the flu, judging by the sheer lack of energy, the constant state of being both too hot and too cold, the sore throat that spread to my ears, the pulsating headache that felt like mini explotions, the creeping, sore skin, the 101 degree fever, and the nausea at the thought of food. I remained bundled up in my bed without moving (except for the toilet) for 48 hours. Today I managed to get up and thank goodness I did because Scott suddenly came down with it. He needed me to be a bit more alive to care for him (as he so patiently cared for me). With his asthma though, it's a bit more serious that he is unwell, and I've been trying to encourage him to do all the proper wellness techniques, such as drinking lots of fluids, staying warm, sleeping a lot and taking vitamin C. He's an impatient invalid, unfortunately, and gets bored being in bed. But his birthday PSP has helped quite a bit.

So anyway, we're away on sick leave from the blog for who knows how long. I think I'm at the tail end, having managed about twelve hours feverless (and the ability to walk around), but Scott may not see the light for many more days.


It's now 4am and I can't sleep due to a blocked up nose and sore throat. Someone shoot me!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Crimbo 05

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum (for the eggnog, of course.)

Crimbo 05 seems to have been a success. The day started out with a very good Remembrance service at church, which I felt was most appropriate for Christmas morning. What better way to remember the birth of Christ than by taking the bread and wine with other members of His body? It was really good.

And then Scott and I came home to open our presents.

The kitties were pretty chuffed with our presents as well.

Then we headed over to Scott's mum and dad's for Christmas lunch and more pressies.

Scott was lookin' really good in his new jumper, by the way.

After that, we came back home and reviewed our loot.

Winner of the Top Most Interesting/Bizarre Gifts:

(Yes, that is a yard of beer and an alarm clock that makes tea.) Hurray for awesome stuff!

And though there is no contest for cutest stuff, if there had been, the winner would have been this:

Thanks, Rebekkah! It's so cute, it even looks good on Scott!

Sigh, then we decided that we got loads of really good stuff from everyone and so we were pooped and ordered a curry and watched Muppet Christmas Carol. The End.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


I’ve written numerous posts in the last few days at work, but since I can’t access blogger from here, I haven’t ended up posting any of them. I come home and can’t be bothered getting on the computer to publish a post that I wrote hours ago that no longer seems interesting. There is a distinct possibility that the same will happen this this post, but I write it anyway to widdle away the time left at this place.

I’m interviewing myself, or something like that.

Since you’re at work, tell me, what is the best thing about working in the UK?
Well, Lori, there are actually quite a few advantages to it. I really like the fact that Europeans are so cool about alcohol, and they will often serve wine during work hours. Here at the school, we get wine in the staff room on momentous occasions such as End of Term and after big inspections. I like drinking wine while I work. But that isn’t the best thing. The best thing is the holidays. In Scotland, employees are entitled to four working weeks holiday, or 20 days. At the school, I get 44. That’s almost nine weeks total. And I’m not even a teacher. That would definitely have to be the best thing about UK employment.

So then, what would be the worst thing?
I’d have to say the worst thing is the income tax. It’s not exactly the worst thing about employment but it totally sucks to have a salary of X but only bring home like ½ of X. It’s depressing.

Is it true that you have fourteen friends, as you once stated yourself?
I think I was being a bit over-zealous with that remark, Lori. After time, I’ve realised it would be more accurate to say that I have fourteen potential friends, or perhaps fourteen close acquaintances. Of those fourteen, there are maybe six that I would actually feel comfortable inviting over to my house, and with only one would I feel comfortable inviting over to do absolutely nothing. I think that’s the mark of a true friend – someone you can invite over to do nothing.

Well, it seems like a good thing that you’ve even got one "true friend". Tell us about her – is she anything like your friends back home?
She’s a funny sorta girl – she reminds me so starkly of someone but I cannot for the life of me figure out who. At any rate, she’s loud, funny, into multiple hair colours and piercings, and loves Jesus. Hmm, maybe she reminds me of me? At any rate, she’s dead cool and we’re going to get pierced together after Boxing Day.

Good grief, Lori. Don’t you have enough piercings as it is?
Not really. I’ve only got a few earrings and a nosering. That’s really mild in the piercing world. I’m going to get my tragus pierced. It’s not as dirty as it sounds. It’s just the funny jut-out bit in your ear. Here’s a picture.

Ugh. Enough about your ‘tragus’ or whatever. If you could travel to anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?
Tough decision. See, I’d really like to see so many places – Egypt, South Africa, Columbia, Japan, Italy, Cypress… the list goes on. But since all of those places are accessible in a relatively plausible way, and since this question is sending me somewhere all expenses paid, I’d choose Antarctica. It’s my dream to have visited every continent before I die, and that damned continent is making it very difficult for me to achieve that dream. So I’d go there and kiss a penguin.

Do you like penguins then?
Penguins are the new monkey.

I was reading an exclusive interview with Kermit the Frog on Who is your favourite Muppet?
Call me boring, but it’s most definitely Kermit himself. He’s so green and small and skinny-legged (no offense, pal), and yet so intellectual and charming. He’s just the most relatable character on the show. I feel like I know the guy. I feel like I am Kermit sometimes. I definitely share the sentiment that "it ain’t easy bein’ green." It isn’t.

Lori, I think you’re weird. I’m done with this interview.
Yet, I don’t think I’m weird at all. Sometimes I might agree with you, but in general I’m just a normal girl, trying to live life as honestly and adventurously as possible, without getting myself into trouble or danger. I spent far too much of my childhood trying to be normal until I finally discovered that there is no such thing. So now I’m just me. I’m not that weird when you look at some people.

Are you done yet?
Yeah. I’m not as in love with myself as I’m making it seem.

Shut up. You’re annoying.
I know. I’m sorry.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

My Darling's Birthday

13 August 04-
Oh how I miss you, darling. I can barely stand it. It's all coming back, the painful missing you, so much more strongly. I'm missing you so intensely. I need you, darling. I miss you so much. I love you. I love you with all my heart. Oh, how I can't wait to be your wife. I love you so much, darling! My heart is very sore right now.

-an excerpt from our private blog we kept while we were "dating"

I love you so much, Scott. You're my best friend in the world. Have a wonderful birthday. I'm so glad we never have to be apart again!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


You know how when you're sick you can just taste that sick taste in your mouth? I know, pretty disgusting way to start out, especially having given you no warning. But I'm sick. All over. Head, throat, stomach, skin. And what's worse was today was NOT a day I could miss at work. So my darling husband drove me in this morning and waited on me for an hour while I quickly wrapped up all that needed to be done for the day. It wasn't much - it was just past its deadline. The newsletter was meant to be sent off to the printer yesterday, but the Rector had yet to finish reviewing it. I cornered him this morning before he could run off to assembly, got his remarks, arranged the proof for pick-up, called the printers and left. Scott is too good to me, driving me in and waiting around. But at least it got done. I couldn't have dealt with myself if I'd just left it undone, no matter how crappy I felt upon awakening and no matter how much I cried at the thought of crawling out of bed.

In fact, I feel pretty miserable even sitting up right now checking my email and catching up on blogs so I'm gonna head back upstairs with my copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and settle back into bed for the night. Scott is happy because he got to miss class today to take me into work and since I'm not up for making dinner, he gets to order a curry for delivery.

Aww, and now he's asleep on the couch. A day off must've worn him out. ;)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Even More Just Stuff

1. Since I know you all have been waiting with baited breath to find out how the Christmas party went, I'll tell you. I hate to keep my adoring public in suspense. It went fine.

2. This awesomest date ever that I've been planning for Scott is gonna be a little less awesomest than I hoped as we are waiting for pay day. It's still gonna be awesome, but it's gonna be spread over a few days as wages roll into the bank.

3. Sunday Scott and I are gonna go to a art show sorta thing in Glasgow at the Lighthouse. It's called Matryoshka, and according to it is a show where "Artists and designers present a new take on the concept of Russian nesting dolls". Cool.

4. Scott and I just ate homemade pizzas and McDonald's milkshakes! (And here I am wondering why I can't fit in skinny girl clothes...)

5. We saw Narnia, and it was good. Other than that "greater force that controls our destiny" Star Wars line spoken by (a rather disappointing) Aslan. I like the name Aslan. I'd like to name a kid that. Scott would rather punch himself in the head.

***Edit by Scott. She's not exaggerating.***

6. I love babies.

***Edit by Scott. Sigh.***

Monday, December 12, 2005

More Just Stuff

1. My kittens are licking their paws simultaneously, and it is oh-so-cute!

2. We are severely lacking in the Christmas card receipt department. One card in the mail (thanks, Jonathan and Sarah. We know who are TRUE friends are.) and a few handed out at church (my name misspelled each time. Who IS this "Laurie"?) We mailed out fifty cards, and that doesn't include the church folk we'll be dispersing cards to on Sunday.

3. Scott's mum bought us these awesome Advent calendars that have real pouches to put real gifts in. I've been getting totally cool stuff, like the shiny bling bracelet I just opened and am now wearing. Bling bling!

4. I think I'm ready for the SU Christmas party. I bought mince pies, and I drafted a wee speech in the Notes section of my new 2006 planner. I need to work in a few jokes though before I present it, which I think we all know is destined for failure. "Heeyyyyyy kids!!! Huhuh!"

5. I talked to my dear friend Devon last night on the phone, and it didn't make being away any better. I miss Devon and I miss Amanda and I'm going to go throw myself in the Clyde. (My bling will help me sink.)

6. Worst shopping experience EVER today. I went on a mission to find a Christmas dress and didn't return with so much as a sock. I looked like an enormous Champagne bottle in one dress, a condom in another, and a pepperoni pizza in the last. Did I mention I have four zits and PMS? Not a good day.

Oh and did I mention that everyone in Britain is supposed to have no thighs, no ass, and heavens PLEASE no hips? Yeah, it's the style. I'm gonna have to weight (pun) 'til the next new wave of 80s. I thought this was my chance, but anorexic is way too in. Shapeless, weightless and prepubescent is the new hourglass.

7. Scott's birthday is SATURDAY, and I am planning the coolest date ever (possible at present). I don't have a dress or anything (murmer grumble) but Scott'll look hot in his suit while we're eating at... and .... and going to... Oh, the suspense...

8. I have to now go a) make a payment on the ole' credit card and b) make shortbread for the par-TAY.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Just stuff

Well, I'm surprised more people weren't excited about Rangers. This is history in progress, people! But since clearly no one else cares, I won't go on any more about it. Oh, other than to say I was offered a ticket to the match tomorrow at Kilmarnock, and I had to turn it down. Family dinner been planned for a few weeks.

For the SU party on Tuesday, before I give a little talk on "The Real Meaning of Christmas" I'm doing a little Christmas Quiz. This is where audience (you!) participation comes in. Which type of quiz would you suggest among the *following:
1. Multiple-Choice Questions like "Celebrating Christmas was once against the law in...? a. Holland b. Indiana c. Massachusetts d. Japan"
2. Christmas carol teasers like: "Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy"
3. Christmas movie quotes like: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho."

After I do the fun quiz, and before the real talk, I'll do a True/False thing about the nativity story and then go into the real thing. I think I'll just have whichever quiz I choose printed out on paper and lying about for the kids to work on while they're munching on cookies and milk.

Lori's Ultimate Last-Minute Gift Ideas.
Still can't think of what to get that rando? Here are a few ideas.
1. The Gift That Keeps On Giving: With a subscription to a great magazine, your rando pal will be enjoying your Christmas present once every month for a year!
2. Adventure for the So-Inclined: Adventure gifts are so freaking cool. You can find them everywhere, but my favourite is the Aqua Sphereing. You can also find gift vouchers for any adventure through many places, such as Days to Amaze (
3. Rando for the Rando: No one actually owns a Sumo wrestling suit, but anybody would accept one! Smoking isn't easy to quit, but a coughing ashtray can certainly help. Try perusing unique gift sites for the perfect rando gift for the rando in your life. My favourite is I Want One of Those ( It ships fast - you could still have it in time for Christmas! (It's a UK site, though, so Americans may want to find something American, if you want it by Christmas.)
4. Royally Cool: Fine, so it's not royalty, per se but you can make someone a Lord or Lady by purchasing a bit of land for them. There are several places you can find this gift, but here's the cheapest I've found. One square foot of land can give you the right to put that coveted "Lady" title before your name. I don't know about you, but insisting my boss call me Lady McFarlane seems totally rad.

That's all the advice I have. Sorry. It wasn't that awesome, I know.

Hope you are all doing great. Allow me to leave you with this:

What Flavour Are You? Buzz buzz, I am Coffee flavoured.Buzz buzz, I am Coffee flavoured.

I am popular in the workplace, even though I am often bitter. I am energetic to the point of being frenetic; buzz buzz, out of my way. I tend to overwork myself and need periods of recovery time. What Flavour Are You?

Answers in case you're wondering:
1. "Celebrating Christmas was once against the law in...? a. Holland b. Indiana c. Massachusetts d. Japan" c. Massachusetts
2. "Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy" "Walking Through a Winter Wonderland"
3. "Now I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho."
Die Hard

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Ho!!! After a tense 1-1 draw last night against Inter Milan and a 0-0 draw between Porto and Artemedia Bratislava, Rangers have became the first Scottish team to ever make it into the final 16 of the Champions League!!

Heck freakin' yeah!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Christmas without Jesus? Blasphemous!

I’ve been vague over the past few days about all the things I’ve been thinking about and reconsidering. I will be brave and talk about this one. I expect criticism, and this I accept, because I do not know the answers and I want to do what is right.

I’ve been starkly aware lately of how unbiblical Christmas is. When did Jesus ever ask us to remember his birthday? When did the Bible ever mandate it? As far as I recall, Jesus only asked us to remember his death through taking the Lord’s Supper. So why do we celebrate Jesus’ birth, and why do we mix it with the unchristian holiday of Christmas (and by unchristian I refer to the material, sensual, Santa Clausy stuff)? Again, I won’t get into the pagan arguments, just as I didn’t when speaking of the Sabbath. But still, the truth remains: it’s not a Biblical holiday.

But this doesn’t make it wrong to celebrate, does it? After all, Independence Day isn’t wrong to celebrate, nor is Thanksgiving or Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and none of those are religious holidays. Secular holidays aren’t sinful, are they?

But I wonder, is it right to celebrate the birth of Jesus alongside one of these holidays?

I mean, particularly, Christmas. Of all the holidays to co-associate with Jesus, the Son of the Living God, this would have to be the worst. Are there any more ridiculous holidays (maybe aside from Halloween) that could be Christianised? Christmas, a time to give and get material gifts, to decorate the home with a fat man in a red suit who will reward your good deeds with an iPod, to tell stories about reindeer that can fly. Also a time of family and love and goodwill and “peace on earth”…

Anyway, I warned you, this is only something I’m thinking about, and I don’t have any concrete ideas yet on the subject. But would it be wrong to stop celebrating Christmas? No, I don’t think so. After all, not Peter, Paul nor John celebrated Jesus’ birth (that we know of). And it really is twisted to try to celebrate both the birth of our Saviour and a secular holiday all about trees and presents and spending extra on marked-up items on the same day.

Gosh, as a side note, I remember how hard it was as a kid to try to make Christmas about Jesus with all those mysterious, colourfully wrapped packages taunting me all month. I would force my mind to think about Jesus, but man, those presents! I hope Mom got me a My Little Pony. Or one of those dolls with the hair that grows. Ooh or a musical jewellery box…

Who am I kidding? I still have to force myself to make Christmas about Jesus.

But is it anyway? Was it ever meant to be? Two questions arise –
1) Is Christmas supposed to be about Jesus? And
2) Is Christmas just a chance for us to enjoy a secular holiday under the pretense of religion? Actually, more questions arise than that.
3) Is it downright wrong to celebrate Jesus birth along with the secular Christmas traditions?
4) Should we stop celebrating Christmas altogether because it is not Biblical?
5a) Or can we celebrate Christmas without celebrating Christ’s birth, making it the same as Thanksgiving or Remembrance Day?
5b) Would that be wrong?
6) Should we celebrate Christmas ONLY as Christ’s birth and do away with the presents and the trees?
7) Are we even supposed to be celebrating Jesus birth at all?

Deep breath. Whew. So many things I don’t know the answer to.

I like Christmas. I like giving presents to people. And even though it may be hard to believe, I spend very little time thinking about what I’m going to get in return. Don’t get me wrong, since I know I’m getting something I will say, “ooh, I’d like that for Christmas!” But in general, I don’t get excited about my presents. I get excited about what I get for my friends and family. I love to find the perfect gift and then see it opened.

I also like decorating. I like the twinkly lights and the shiny baubles and the fake snow. And I like to see wrapped presents all stacked under a ridiculously adorned tree standing right in the middle of an otherwise normal room.

Are these things wrong? Am I just as absorbed with the commercialisation of Christmas like everyone else?

More unanswerable questions. I really don’t know about any of these things.

But one thing I think I’m beginning to feel a bit more strongly is that mixing the above earthly traditions with celebration of a very serious, symbolic moment of the birth of Jesus seems wrong.

Something’s gotta give. Is it Christmas? Or Xmas? Both or neither?

I’m reluctant to give up the gift-giving part of the holiday. I’ll be honest. I love it too much. But most Christians against Christmas believe this is part of the reason the holiday is so wrong. So am I just too caught up with the worldly aspect to give it all up completely?

Funnily, I’ve been asked to talk about why it is so important for Christians that the “Christ” in Christmas remain, and not be crossed out by an X, at a Scripture Union Christmas party during lunch break next week. (The party is cleverly titled “The X-Factor”. Cute.)

Oh, Lord, help me. (Really.)

Monday, December 05, 2005

Keepin' U Up on Waz Down

Firstomundo- Last night went fine. Or so folks say. I was too nervous to know the difference. When I start talking about spiritual stuff I become a real sere-butt (sere is short for serious, in case u ain't down wit da Lori-speak). So I was dead sere and my voice was all shaky but they say I did fine so I'll just leave it at that.

Secondino- It's three weeks until crimbo and the shopping is nearly done. Christmas is so commercialised and I am such a sucker for shopping, I'm beginning to think I should stop celebrating it. But I do love to give gifts so I wonder where to draw the line. It's a question too deep for me to delve into right now, what with all the other delving I'm doing.

Treble- That's how Scottish people say triple. It does my head in. Scott's birthday is next weekend. Everyone be sure to wish him a sweet sixteen! Sweet sixteen and never been kissed.

Quarterly- By the way I'm talking right now, you'd think I was high. If only. Hey! It's a joke, man, git wid it.

Five golden rings!- Fifthly and finally, let me just say my first observed Sabbath was wonderful. Saturday night I did as much cleaning up as I could (considering we were out part of the night) and on Sunday, I refrained from work. Though the pots that were soaking in the sink were KILLING me and the load of laundry was still a mile high, I just rested. Scott and I were late for church (resting? heh) and our church has lots of oldies who get upset if you come in late so we went back home and started a mini-series on Galations. (Why Galations? Because Scott opened the Bible somewhere in the middle, and we took it from there. We're really spiritual.) Then I read a bit more and fell asleep on the couch. The kitties played on me while I slept, and it made me happy. Then we went to Scott's parents for mince rounds and totties and spent the evening with them. We came home, and I spent some time praying and planning what I was gonna say at church in the evening. We went to church, it was actually really good (this is the church we stopped going to, remember) and came home and snuggled up for bed. And guess what? The pots got washed tonight and a load of laundry is spinning through it's cycle, and I'm still alive. And I feel good and rested for a change. And I feel even more confident that God is gonna take care of everything, even without me striving 24/7. Yeah, dog. God is good.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Reflections: Why am I still a Christian?

I apologise for all the religiously charged posts in a row; I usually try to refrain from that. But things are in my head, and funnily, blogging is the best way these days to get my thoughts out. (Why blogging and not journaling? Could it be the knowledge that other people will read it and judge it and therefore it better be substantial? I think maybe.)

**By the way, side note: I think we've lost the battle with the cats and the Christmas tree. I think they've won. We just can't keep them out of it. **

Ok, back to my original plan for this entry.

I have to speak tomorrow night at the Port. Two things about this freak me out:
1. I haven't been back to the Port since my embarrassing "Bradley is coming to town! Oh wait, nevermind, no he's not. Sorry for getting your hopes up, I'm a moron." experience, and I haven't felt comfortable around the Port people in months.
2. I hate speaking.

I was asked to "testify", and I accepted. Not because I thought, "Oh, great, I love to share what God has done in my life!" but because I believe the Holy Spirit uses stuff like this to teach and stretch us, and also to bring others to Him. When Rhoda said, "You've been on my mind for weeks as someone to speak at the Port," I couldn't very well say no. After all, if God put me on Rhoda's mind, would I not be in the wrong to refuse? Maybe not, but since I'll never speak on my own accord, I will do so if someone else asks.

Now, I've "testified" before, telling how I became a Christian and whatnot. And that story is precious to me still. But it's not ALL God has done for me. In fact, it was just the beginning of a lifetime of millions of blessing from my Father. So, I've decided for once I'd like to talk about why I STAY a Christian, and not just how I BECAME one.

Still, what the crap do I say? Hence this post. A chance for me to flesh out the answer to that question.

Why do I stay a Christian?
Number one reason: God keeps me one. He has promised us in His Word that He who began a good work in us, shall perform it until the day of completion. (Phil 1:6) He saved me, and that's a life long thing.

Many times I've wanted to give up. But I haven't. Why? Because I'm such an awesome, strong-willed woman? Aye right! I'm the flightiest, ficklest girl ever. I stay because He keeps me.

What if He didn't keep you? Would you still be a Christian?
After just a second of thought on this, I knew the answer was still yes. And not because I want to go to heaven (which I do). I would stay because I believe Him. I really, with all my heart, believe Him! I believe in Jesus, I believe in what he has said to me through the Bible and through the Holy Spirit. Something deeper inside me than all the doubt (and boy, do I have my doubts!) believes. Is it a crutch? Some may think so. Maybe it is. But I believe it nonetheless. It's just too true.

How do you know it's true?
Firstly, I know it's true because I believe the Bible. Ooh, many would call that a BIG crutch! But it's a bit more circular than that (the old philosophical conundrum). I believe the Bible because I've experienced what it says in my life. The Word of God has never let me down. It is thorough, it is complete. And God Himself has never let me down. Sometimes I've thought He had, but I was only being impatient. Never once in my life has the Lord God let me down. Bad things have happened - but I got through them all. I live with some pain, but I am still living. I know it's true, because I've seen that it is true. And the Bible backs me up. But I believe the Bible first over what I've experienced. Life will surely throw a lot more difficulties at me, more painful and seemingly impossible than I've ever experienced before. I will live through it by faith in the Word, and when it's over, I'll believe in God more because of what I experienced.

Do you have any examples of this?
Hmm... well, first of all, I can think of nothing I have been through that now seems worthy of example. In the moment of all those moments, I simply could NOT believe God was faithful or even real. But looking back, they were such silly moments! And I've grown through them. And to tell them now would seem silly. A few of the most recent things that have happened to our family would be inappropriate to tell in front of a crowd at this point in time, and beyond these recent painful experiences, I can't think of anything really, really ... didactic.

So if you haven't been through anything really horrible (that you can talk about) how do you know, or how will you convince others, that God really is faithful?
Good question (thanks, self). The answer isn't very easy. All I can say now to that is, God only gives us what we can handle. He never gives us more than we can handle. He says this about temptation in 1 Corinthians 10:13. But I think it must refer to all things because in all things there is a temptation to disbelieve God. God is building me up in Him. He is making me stronger. He gives me little bits at a time. What I've been through (as a relatively young Christian) may seem insignificant to people who have been through the loss of family members, hurricanes, fires, AIDS, whatever it may be, but to me, the things I've been through were hard. And learning to have faith through the seemingly small things is teaching me to have faith in the bigger things. What's happened to our family this year have been the hardest, most faith-trying things I've ever experienced. And God is teaching me to have faith in Him even through all of that.

If you want an example, think of this generic story - Your pet dies. Family pet. Been in the family since before you were born. Your are heart-broken! You cry, you feel so sad. This is a really hard time for you. Then you hear that your friend's mother has passed away. You can quickly see the difference in heartache that the two of you are feeling. An outsider might call you selfish for being so sad over the loss of your pet in the face of this much greater tragedy. But does that mean your grief is not important or valid? Does that mean you have no right to grieve? Not at all. For each one of our pains are painful to us, even when others' are experiencing even greater pain. It is good to always keep our lives in perspective in those kind of situations, but it does not mean we lose our validity in feeling the different levels of pain. Just as a stumped toe hurts like hell but is nothing compared to child birth. It's still genuine.

I think I'll leave it at that for now. It's given me a bit to think about. I have not in any way come up with what I want to say tomorrow night, but at least this gives me a jumping board. Why am I still a Christian? It's something to contemplate.

One other thing I'd like to mention before I forget. At work, a lady and I were talking about my beliefs and she basically asked why I believe them. At the place in my life I am in right now, it was a nearly impossible question. But the Lord gave me my answer. I thought quickly, "What is the bottom line? What are the bare bones of why I believe?" I told her this:
I believe that Jesus is the only answer because it just makes sense. None of us will ever be good enough. We may be pretty good, but we will never be good enough. One sin, that's us screwed. In comparison to a perfect God, we are so far from perfect, we could never with any amount of trying be good enough. So we have to have something else to be good for us. Jesus. Jesus lived a perfect life and then took our punishment of death. We all deserve death because we are so far from being good enough to merit life. So through Jesus, we inherit the right to live. It's the only belief system that makes sense, once we've admitted the fact that we are incapable of ever being good enough.

That's a big reason why I am still a Christian.

Friday, December 02, 2005

So Much to Do, So Little Time to Do It.

Indeed, the story of my life.

Christmas is just around the corner, and I'm a big strange mix of odd feelings regarding it. But I won't bother you with them, as I am unsure of them myself, and I don't know if they mean anything. I'm going through a bit of a "phase" which I don't know is just a phase, but it may be/probably is, so I'll talk about it as little as possible.

But one thing I will talk about is just how incredibly BUSY my life feels right now. I have a pile of dirty laundry up to my waist, two cats that destroy everything in sight, an empty fridge, a Christmas-empty wallet and a busy schedule at work. My alarm didn't wake me this morning, meaning I didn't wake up until 7:30 - I am due in at work at 8. Considering the hour and a half it takes to get to work and the fact that I simply had to have a shower (since I smelled of pub from the night before), I had quite a dishevelled day. Gah. My hair looked like ten miles of dirt road.

Anyway, we all have these wee periods in life where we canNOT believe we'll ever get on top of things. But I think I'm feeling it right now on purpose. I'm serious about the Sabbath-thing, but twenty-three years makes for a hard habit to break. I'm going to continue to treat Sunday as my Sabbath for the time being (it could possibly change), but I'm going to start taking the Sabbath seriously. I like what Ruth (whom I do not know) said on my post below about the Sabbath being a day to trust God and not strive in our own power. So tomorrow, I'm going to work hard to make the house clean, get groceries bought and do whatever, and then Sunday, I'm gonna rest. I'm going to go to the rememberance in the morning and dwell on God's goodness to us as I take part in the undeserved sacrament of the bread and wine, and then I'm going to come home and enjoy rest and peace in God. I'll have dinner ready (or something that doesn't require work to make, like a frozen fillet) so I don't have to work in the kitchen, and I'm going to not stress out about all that needs to be done. I work hard throughout the week (even though two nights this week I did go out - GASP!), and I will trust in the Lord that by keeping the Sabbath day holy, he will bless me with much needed rest. After all, the laundry basket is never going to actually be empty, no matter what, (until I get a dryer??) so what good does it do me to stress out?

Happy weekend, all. Hope by Monday, you're feeling good.