Friday, January 30, 2004

I feel on top of the world. *Big smile*

I just met with one of my committee members for my thesis, and he said really good things about the poems I gave him. That's wonderful to me. I needed the encouragement.

Today is a good day, to quote Ice Cube.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Five Things I Need

1. I need to get a visa.
2. I need to write my Senior Thesis.
3. I need to graduate college.
4. I need to get caught up at work.
5. I needed a fifth one to make it look worse than it really is.

This semester I don't take lunch breaks. I go from class straight to work and eat there. Usually a can of soup or a Slim-Fast or something I picked up at the Union on the way over.

But today, I'm going to do something different.

My friend Chris just Instant Messaged me and asked me if I wanted to go to Bangkok Cuisine with him and Kristie. Now, I don't really have a lot of money, and I did just eat Taste of Thai on Saturday... But what the hell, I'm going. I haven't had a relaxing moment (well besides Saturday, at my massage) in a long time, and work has been stressful and so has life so I'm going. I'm going out for Thai food.


Fake Scots Suck Pt 2

Apparently I won a door prize. My professor (who arrived late and found someone to seat her) claimed it for me. It's a book about Scotland. At least I got something for that $22 I spent. (For more info see two posts below.)

Monday, January 26, 2004

Scotty Missed the Snow

The flakes are BIG. The water on the cars is FROZEN. The snow is sticking to the ground. The word on the street (or around the office) is we might get up to 3 inches! I'm sorry, Scott, that you missed out. Maybe you should've stayed.

I'll post some pictures after I recharge my camera batteries.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Fake Scots Suck

Fake Scots Suck

So I had a ticket for this Robert Burns Night - Banquet and Ceilidh (sp?). I paid $22 for it. As much as I'd like to go into all the gory details, I'm sick of telling about it. Let's just say I didn't wear a kilt OR a velvet evening gown. And lets also add that nobody would let me sit at their table. So when the presentation of the haggis commenced I was without a seat to take so I left. Left the haggis, the Scotch, the turnips, and all the old American-Scottish bastards to their bagpipes and tartans. Left my $22 ticket, too. That's what pissed me off most.

Saturday, January 24, 2004

I dyed my hair tonight and suddenly decided I wanted short bangs.

Here are the results:

Is it ok?

Here's the culprit: --well the culprit and me.

I made her do it.

I think I look like a softball player. But that doesn't mean I don't like it. I think its all right. They'll grow back either way. And they are kinda cute, right?

Friday, January 23, 2004

I wanted that job!

Every day in Poetry this semester I've gazed out the window at the rooftops covered in ice and dreamt of taking a big shovel and shoveling the ice off the roof. The edges around each large mass of ice were surrounded by gray wet melting, and I wondered how the ice never fully melted with a building underneath it emitting heat. Oh how I longed to shovel that ice and enjoy the pleasure of tossing it off the side and watching it smash on the concrete below.

Today at the busstop a man climbed a ladder onto a roof and began shoveling the ice. I was devestated.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

If I were a balloon (which I misspelled in the fifth grade spelling bee causing me to loathe the word), I'd be blown up much too big, to where the little tie end would be inflated too, making an ugly bulbous extention, and I'd look all out of shape and thin and gloriously popable. I need someone to carefully undo the knot and let me deflate a bit. I fear if I even touch the grass I will burst.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

I was hoping for a good strong Jonathan Edwards but the truth is, I'm too nice.

"Sin is incurable by the strength of man, nor does free will have any validity here,
so that even the saints say: 'The evil which I do not wish, this I do.' 'You are not doing the
things which you wish.' 'Since my loins are filled with illusions,' etc."

You are Martin Luther!

Yeah, you have a way of letting everyone know how you
feel, usually with Bible quotes attached, and will think your way through the issues, although
sometimes you make no sense! You aren't always sure of yourself, and you can change your mind about
things, something you actually consider a strength. You can take solitude, especially with some music.

What theologian are you?

A creation of Henderson

I had a dream that a publisher came across some of my old fiction/prose work and wanted to publish me and hire me as an onstaff writer. I turned down the job in favor of the job I have now. I wonder what that means...

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Calling All Ladies!

For a good time click here.

(Thanks to Ingrid and David for sharing.)
Sigh. Scott, intelligent though he is, has started a blog with xanga.

I am under a significant amount of stress at this particular moment in my life. I couldn't sleep last night for all the thoughts bouncing in my head. Too much to think about. If my life were a can, I'd be full to the top, pushing things in that don't fit and slicing my hands open on the sharp lid.

I need to find out when ketchup was first invented.

Rumor has it that we are supposed to get snow tonight. Balderdash.

Friday, January 16, 2004

"A readiness to believe every promise implicitly, to obey every command unhesitatingly, to stand perfect and complete in all the will of God, is the only true spirit of Bible study."- Andrew Murray

Even in the face of a salary raise, health benefits, and retirement.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

This has been bothering me ALL DAY.

That sentence was not indicative but subjunctive. I just got them confused. Arg. Indicative is to state a fact; subjunctive is to say something that is obviously not the true state of things.

Also this year is Leap Year. I've been waiting my whole life for a Leap Year!! I must keep missing them or something but this year is finally it!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

(My Friends Are Gonna Be) Strangers - Merle Haggard

I got the letter- I am officially on the Dean's List for last semester! I assumed I would be but it wasn't for sure. But yep, I am in the top 10% of my class! Now... I'm not sure if thats all seniors in Fulbright or all seniors in English/Creative Writing or what... but it still sounds excellent for resumes!

[EDIT:] I had a whole diatribe here but I'm deleting it. I will just leave my last paragraph, leaving all in suspense of what was once posted here.

Anyway I probably shouldn't have said anything. So I will end with this. That sentence "I probably shouldn't have said anything" is an indicative sentence. I think. I'm only on Chapter 5 of my Faulkner grammar book and I haven't actually been paying attention. But as far as I can tell it's indicative. Indicative of what is unreal or uncertain and stating something that should have been done in theory. It is fallacious. Because what I should have done I did not do. I think that makes it indicative.


Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Today feels much better. God has really given me a peace about Scott leaving. Part of this must be Candice's praying for me and part of it is God's grace. I wonder how much of each it is? I suppose it's all God's grace with Candice's praying, too... Hmm...

I started school today and came back to work after what seems like forever. I have worked two days in the past 3 weeks or so. There was a lot waiting for me. But I got all the spam cleared out and all the easy reports taken care of so I should get a lot done tomorrow and be caught up on Thursday. I work every day now and I still haven't figured out how that works with dress. I don't want to wear business clothes to school and I can't wear school clothes to work. I didn't care today, I'm wearing jeans and hoping no one important notices.

I'm thinking of buying a tote bag. A cute pink one.

I had three classes today. English/Language Composition, the "Faulkner Grammar" class, is going to be my favorite. The teacher is so cute. I've had her before for a literature class and found her so boring, but when she talks about grammar, I'm captivated. It's probably not her at all. It's me. I love grammar. I kept answering all the questions. Everyone's either gonna hate me or want to sit by me, I don't know.

Sociology is a BIG class with loud, obnoxious people but the teacher is energetic, and while she might overwhelm me, I should make an easy A in there.

Poetry has a lot of my friends in it and is taught by a teacher no one but me likes. Of course, he starts talking and before I know it my mind is wondering, but it'll be good material and he can be interesting. When he's not being boring. And grouchy. And talking about his ex-wife. Which I personally think is interesting. So I guess just not when he's being boring and grouchy.

I still miss Scott though. He's calling tonight. I predict a lot of "I miss you"s and "I love you"s and so forth.

Monday, January 12, 2004

Photolog of Wrong Things

We'll begin with the initial right thing to contrast the subsequent wrong things. Me and Scott together.

Now that he's gone I'm full of rhetorical questions.

Like, how am I going to make my bed now without a helper? It's a two person job, really.

Or where is Scott's toothbrush now?

And what am I going to do with all this tea/Who am I going to drink it with, hot in the morning before showering?

For Christmas Scott got me a Beddy Bear. It's a bear that you put in the microwave, then sleep with all warm and smelly-good. It may be warm like a person, but its not the same as a person. And Scott doesn't smell like lavendar. But Beddy Bear (naturally named Scott) will have to tide me over for a few months.

I'm not just saying nothing is right to be complainy. The truth is, I came home after leaving him at the airport and everything felt dead. My room felt empty. Like the life was gone. Suddenly it was just a room again. With Scott here, it was home.

That's the thing. Scott feels like home. Now I feel displaced. Like the Scots from the Highlands. Or the Native Americans from their territories.

I feel incomplete.

Scott's gone.

I've never felt more alone in all my life.

Scott leaves today.

I don't want to talk about it.

Friday, January 09, 2004

It's weird the things you can't do when you run out of checks.

I can't pay bills. I mean I could call them in and pay with credit card but then I'd be charged a fee.

Actually that's about it. There are many a place that only take cash or check but I don't shop there too often.

Ok so it's not really something to blog about. I just haven't had anything else to say...

My friends and I had a good night last night, sitting around laughing and drinking. We never do that. We're not exactly big drinkers, me and my friends. So last night was an occasion. An occasion for what? Nothing really, just needed something to do. It ended up being fun. Yay for fun.

Scott is still wonderful even after two straight weeks of pure each other. I can't believe how well we've gotten along. Yay for getting along. Yay for being in love.

Monday, January 05, 2004

Changing 2s to 3s

There are 75 counties in the state of Arkansas.

Friday I went through each county and changed about 6 1s in each county to 2s.

Today I went back through each county and changed all those 2s to 3s.

Next time I'll go back through each county and change each 3 to 4 if it will let me. Otherwise I will change each 3 to a hard coded date.

That comes to about 1,350 changes, not counting my mistakes that I had to go back through and correct.

I get paid a lot of money to do crap.

I've been a bad blogger.

I don't know what to say. This past week has been one of the best weeks ever. Scott and I have been having such a good time together. We haven't done a whole lot, it's just been nice being together. It's something I think most couples take for granted. You expect to be with the person you are with. Scott and I don't get that. (For all you unfamiliar readers, Scott lives in Scotland, I live in Arkansas.) So we've just basked in the sweetness of being around each other. I apologize to all my friends for our touchiness and the grossness of it. I think my friends don't like me right now.

However, it doesn't matter because I'm supremely happy.

I wish I had something else to write about other than Scott, but come on, I'm hardly thinking of anything else. Since he's been here we've gone bowling, seen movies, eaten out, eaten in, rented movies, had dinner with my family, had dinner with my Fayetteville "family", visited Memphis, and shopped. We've done other things, too, but I can't remember them right now.

I don't really have anything to talk about. I'm at work and he's at home, sleeping soundly I'm sure. I miss him. I don't want him to go back.

Friday, January 02, 2004

Hello to everyone. This is Scott again. I'm at Lori's work while she does a few hours to get her holiday pay.

It's not terribly interesting.

One thing I'd like to observe about her work is that the programme they use to do reports is terrible. Someone should really write them something better, that isn't a text based interface. It'd be much quicker if they could use the mouse and do things automatically. Someone could make some money out of that.

We went to Graceland. It was an awful lot of fun. I wish the tour was set out differently though, you were kind of rushed from room to room without being able to stop and actually see the place. The jungle room wasn't made a big enough deal of. It was the one room in the house that I really wanted to see. Oh well.

It was still good, in a kitsch/tacky way.

I like Waffle House waffles. Hopefully we get to go again. The bacon wasn't so good, though. Sausage next time I think.

Food in America is weird.