Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Another Unexpected Nice Day

Pink Trees
... except it's cold.

... and my feet are blistered from walking in these stupid heels.

... and I had a stomachache all morning.

... and I have to go get petrol after work instead of go directly home and will have to stand on said blistered feet.

Well, now, now that that's over with! I'm still sans blog fodder, but I am compelled to write anyway. Maybe I'm addicted - addicted to blogging! Mwah ha ha, like anyone has ever heard such a ridiculous thing! Hahahah! -ha ha... ha.... ha.

Ya'll, I am SO bored.

Is there genuinely nothing happening?

Well, no. Not really. I'm making red Thai curry for dinner... We've got a big Sunday School hoo-ha on Saturday... .... ........ ................. .

Yeah, no, that's pretty much it.

REALLY, really, guys, I'm trying. I don't want to lose you! All eleven of you! I just don't really have anything to talk about. But it will come back! The Words Will Return.

Maybe after I go back to America NEXT MONTH (pretending it's already June) to see my brother GET MARRIED and meet DEVON'S BABY which will be born THIS MONTH (pretending it's already June), I'll have something to talk about.

And again, allow me to tempt you with the succulent fruit of What I Am Currently Thinking About - it will be ripe soon!

Meanwhile, ---> Pink trees are pretty.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Blah Blah Blah and Ramble Boring Blah

*The opera was great. Rodolpho and Mimi were excellent. I cried. But not as much as the old lady next to me.

*The long weekend was great. Saturday I went to IKEA and bought another bookshelf and CD tower. All by myself. I think I pulled a stomach muscle trying to get the flat-packs off the shelf and into my car.

*Monday, Scott and I went swimming. We slid down the flumes and floated in the lazy river and swam laps. (Ok, 'lap'. And 'swam' is pushing it, for me.)

*Today, after work, we took a nice drive down to Preswick to pick up Scott's dad from the airport and came back via Largs. The shore was beautiful. The sun was setting. It was heavenly. Or Nevaehly. Hehe.

*Lots of things are going on in my brain right now but nothing much in real life. I hope you will bear with us as our blog goes through this horrible boring phase. Things will get interesting, I promise, if you just hold on. Especially if the things in my brain turn into real life.

*Did you know Michael Jackson is a Jehovah's Witness? Beliefnet is full of interesting stuff!

*Oh, and this Beliefnet quiz called me a "Jerry Falwell Christian" for being orthodox. Jerks!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Scott and I are off to the opera tonight!

Puccini's La Boheme. I'm not bothering with the accent grave.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I'm Uninspiring, But Totallly Inspired

...inspired by these following links. Sorry, I've got nothing to say of my own accord. So enjoy the linkity-linkses.

Banned in Boston- is a really, really good article talking about the Catholic Charities of Boston thing. It really talks about the 'bigger picture', and I highly recommend it. It goes deeply into the whole 'culture war' or whatever going on between orientation discrimination and religious liberty. From what I gather (unless I'm missing something) it's a pretty good, unbiased approach. Found it via GetReligion which is one of my favourite new websites.

Joy Unexpected- is one of my new favourite blogs. I check it every day. Particularly I enjoyed this, this and this. She's so incredibly... just... funny! And real.

Amalah- is also another of my favourite blogs. She is now writing for ClubMom which is just freaking addictive once you get into it (and I'm not even a mom). I hope she doesn't mind me linking to this, but this post really moved me. I hope you go have a look.

I said I had nothing of my own to say, and that's mostly true (I've got a cold, I'm tired, and I feel fat), but I'll mention this. I bought Pedro the Lion's Achilles Heel a year ago but never listened to it. I was still kinda annoyed by a rather irreverent line from the song "Foregone Conclusions". But I'd heard so many other good things about the album, and I'm a huge Pedro fan otherwise, so I bought it. I finally put it in my car so I'd listen to it, and though that one line does still bother me, I've found the entire album to be really amazing. Here's my favourite part:

I could buy you a drink,
I could tell you all about it,
I could tell you why I doubt it,
and why I still believe it,
why I need it,
and what the pharisees can't see.

I can't say it like I sing it,
I can't sing it like I think it,
I can't think like I feel it,
and I don't feel a thing.

I think I'm glad I've given this album a chance. It's pretty f'ing good.

Beyond all that, I've really got nothing. The Hayses are gone now. I love them so much, and I miss them already. I have tomorrow off work. I had curry for dinner for the third night in a row. Blah blah blah this blog is so boring these days. Help.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Well, who'd a'thunk it?

I'm sick a-bloody-gain.

But my knees, back and head are doing just fine, thank you very much. I will live yet!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Smoking May or May Not Cause Your Death

Weekend Update: This Just In

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Beautiful Weather Part 3

View it here.

'Full Fat Calvinist'?

As you may have noticed (if you care at all), I have organised all my 'theology' posts from my archives into a neat little page. I've sub-titled the page 'From Semi-Skimmed Calvinist to Full Fat'. Because I'm bored (or maybe because I'm self-absorbed) I thought I'd look at my most recent 'theology' post to see just how 'full fat' I've become. Oh. My. Goodness, could my last post be any more self-centred?

Let me say this first, in that post's defense - I. Was. Struggling.

OH MY GOODNESS was I struggling. And part of me still can't believe I made it out of that time in my life alive. And I only wrote that in December.

Pretty much since my move to Scotland I'd been struggling. In every possible way. I was at the end of my rope, I was ready to chuck this Christianity thing over my shoulder and never look back. Man.

This isn't to say I'm 100% awesome now. I've still got my questions. I've still got my doubts. But THANK GOD I'm not back there in December 2005 anymore.

It would be impossible to say when and where an emergence occurred. There wasn't one Praise Night At Church That Got Me Down On My Knees, Crying, Repenting And Rededicating My Life. Not at all.

The only thing I can pinpoint was Lent.

I'd never done Lent before. I mean, I think I did it once, gave up chocolate, but I don't know if I managed it, and I certainly didn't know what it was all about. But this year, I did a bit of research into it and discovered what it was all about. Repentence. And boy, did that hit a nerve. It was a time when the church would spend 40 days fasting with repentence at the centre. Many who had been disciplined by the church practiced Lent as a time of repentence before being reinstated into the body.

I knew I needed to repent. Of what? I couldn't even say. Just - everything. I was SO GUILTY. I couldn't even speak to Jesus, I was so guilty.

Lent didn't change my life. I didn't experience radical transformation. I didn't wake up on Easter a different person. I didn't even know Lent had done anything at all. In fact, it seemed pretty... normal. I felt normal. I felt relieved to finally drink alcohol and eat steak again.

Life goes on. I started reading the book in the picture up there, In the Face of God by Michael Horton, which I've mentioned several times on here. It was good. It was really good. I learned a lot, and a lot was confirmed. I was especially encouraged in regards to taking the Lord's Supper, Communion, the Eucharist, the Rememberance, whatever you prefer to call it.

I've always believed that one can only take communion when one is in 'a right standing' with God. If you had been pretty sinful through the week, if you were currently fighting with a friend, if your 'heart hasn't been in the right place', then you shouldn't take communion. I'd passed the bread and the wine many a time, for this reason.

Oh my goodness- if this is the criteria, how have I EVER been able to take communion? When have I ever NOT been sinful throughout the week? When have I, personally, ever NOT been fighting with someone? Furthermore, when has my heart ever 'been in the right place'?

The real issue is, when have I ever been in a 'right standing' with God? The answer? Ever since the Holy Spirit imputed Christ's righteousness and death and resurrection to me. Ever since I was justified by the blood of Jesus. It is because of what Jesus did that I am now in a 'right standing' with God.

I can take communion because I am justified before God because of Christ.

I've realised this for a long time. I've taken communion every Sunday (that I've been to church, that is) out of faith that as a believer, I am co-heirs with Christ, and I am invited to take part in his blood and body. But every Sunday I've struggled with trying to conjure up in my mind the 'right' thoughts. The right 'heart'. And I kept coming up short, unable to get past the guilt, the filfth, the depression, the disgust for my sinfulness.

Two Sundays ago, I took communion just out of grace. I accepted Christ's blood and body with nothing other than grace.

No condemnation. No guilt. Just grace. And that's when it occurred to me - it's not about me.

Let me say that again: It's not about me.

I said in that most recent post that even if God didn't 'keep' me, I'd still be a Christian. I think logically I'd have to take that back. I am too sinful. Left to my own devices, I'm shit. But really, it makes no sense to even ask that, if I would still believe even if God didn't 'keep' me, or rather, continue to lavish me with grace. It's a non sequitur. Because I wouldn't have believed in God in the first place, because I am so sinful (and boy, I don't even know the half of it), had it not been for God actively giving me faith. And if God has actively given me faith, and is actively giving me faith, then does it even make sense to ask what if it were different? How totally un-Calvinist of me! *wink*

So, um, really I don't know where this is going. Kinda like most of my posts on theology. I think I just needed to say something - needed to blog - and needed to talk about grace.

I know this is a muffled way to end something like this - maybe it is just a re-hash of the past few months. I don't know why I wrote it all, maybe I started it just to defend my claim to be 'full fat'. But really - grace. Grace.


Wednesday, May 17, 2006


So I had an "entry" prepared for you today, the third installment of The Beautiful Weather series, but there were some, uh, difficulties with getting it posted so it'll have to wait. Hopefully we'll get this thang sorted for tomorrow. You won't wanna miss it!

Speaking of, you know it totally sucks buying software. Ok, so I had all these morals about it, about piracy and all that, and I refused to accept pirated software and I insisted on purchasing all the necessary licenses and so forth. I bought the MacromediaSuite (which has now been bought out by Adobe, in case you didn't know) a couple of years ago - paid a pretty penny, too, I might add - and now, a measley, what, two years later? It's so old and crappy that files created in the newest version won't even open in the older version. So, what's a normal person supposed to do? What's a normal girl who just likes to be creative, who doesn't make a dime off her silly little computer hobbies supposed to do? Buy the upgrade?? I mean, you're kidding, right? This whole pirated software thing? Screw it, I can't afford to be moral. All I want to do is show you my newest comic - in animation - is that so wrong?

I'll still buy DVDs and CDs and stuff though, because I can totally afford those. I'm not completely heathen.

Tonight is the Champions League final. Barcelona versus Arsenal. I'm still licking my wounds over the whole Rangers/Villareal situation (those cheating, time-wasting, fouling jerks!), but I'm looking forward to spending the evening in the pub with my man watching football and drinking beer. Since the Scottish Premiership ended, I've found myself feeling incredibly bored without the football to look forward to.

Football - that's soccer to Amanda. Think like a European, woman.

And speaking of soccer, I TOTALLY need to get out and play. Can someone please set up a game at the park, stat?

And also speaking of soccer, the school's football team made it to the final of the Scottish Independent Schools league cup or whatever, and they're playing their final match tonight. Yes, I'm so missing the football that I'm actually REALLY excited for them. I almost went to the game myself, but yeah, no I realise that would've been unbelievably lame. (I'll let you know the turnout.)

And lest you think all I care about are sports and computers, I --! got nothing.

(But Saturday is Jonathan, Sarah and Stella's going away party. I got that. But it makes me sad, and I'm trying not to get emotional about it, but I'm going to, but I'll save it for Saturday, but seriously, I love that family with all my American heart.)

(And I'm going to see Michaela maybe the Friday before that for some Mic and Lo time - that's not actually my nickname, but I really want it to be - and that'll be cool.)

(And I'm getting my haircut tomorrow like Kirsten on The O.C.. I'm so totally cool.)

But really, all I can think about is how annoying it is switching back and forth between a mac and a PC, always trying to click on the wrong corner of all the applications...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Beautiful Weather is OVAH

Yeah, well, we got more than was really our share. Seven straight days of sun. Un-freakin-believable. I have many more pictures but not any more comic strips at this present time. I'm actually kinda busy at work and not inspired to be "witty" or whatever.

So yeah, busy at work. Learning to use Adobe InDesign. Which, by the way, is so smooth and pretty (particularly on the Mac) and has some totally rock features.

Other than that, I've got post-sun blues. Last week I felt GRRRREAAAT! Then the rain came back and now all I can manage to do is watch The O.C. in my pajamas and drink gin.

And find nothing to blog about so I apologise. I'll try to find something scintillating to say tomorrow.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Beautiful Weather Part 2

comic strip

The weather being as beautiful as it has been, Scott decided he'd take me to the fair going on in Greenock. We rode the rides... and well... I puked.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Beautiful Weather Part 1

Ya'll, the weather. has been. amazing. Is this Scotland or Bermuda?

(The above is an exact transcript of the conversation between Scott and Lori McFarlane, 05 May 2006, the Esplanade, Greenock.)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

100 Things I Love About My Husband: 61-70

61. He thinks deeply and honestly.
62. He genuinely wants to do the right thing.
63. He loves the kittens.
64. He does most of the litter box maintenance.
65. He wants the best for me and tries to give that to me.
66. He wears Cool Man Pants.
67. He's always telling me how much he loves my body.
68. He gets excited about keeping special traditions we're creating or have created.
69. He tries not to boss me around but rather give me time to come to my (his) conclusion.
70. He trusts me.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

100 Things

1. I was born, raised, educated and married in the state of Arkansas.

2. I subsequently got the hell outta dodge and now live in the country of Scotland.

3. My 1st grade crush was on the boy who could read really fast.

4. In elementary school, two friends, Greta and Jennifer, and I started a club called The Nutcase Club. We met weekly in the girls' bathroom on Sunday nights after church and recited our Official Club Poem.

5. I used to be a mega-tomboy and refused to play softball. It was baseball all the way.

6. I was on the 6th grade girls' basketball team. I was crap. At the end-of-the-year party, we all received ribbons for "Most Points Scored" or "Best Improved". I won "Best Team Spirit" because I was so crap.

7. I had a pet dog named Bandit who was dog-napped as a puppy.

8. I am a faithful fan of Tripping Daisy.

9. I got into the rock opera RENT back in '97. That means I've loved RENT almost from its inception (1996).

10. In my life I've loved three sports teams: LA Lakers (basketball), NY Mets (baseball) and Glasgow Rangers ("soccer", or rather, football).

11. I've always wanted to collect something. I had an extensive candy wrapper collection in elementary school. I tried to collect Barbies at one point (I have a grand total of two). Now I collect kokeshi. I've got seven at the moment.

12. I did beauty pageants in 11th and 12th grade. For scholarships, people.

13. I also did 'Forensics', or in layman's terms, competitive drama. I was the 2nd Place State Mime champion my senior year.

14. I really wanted at some point to get a leading role in one of the high school musicals. I never got more prestigious than Riff's girlfriend in West Side Story. Maybe if we'd done the show in mime...

15. I used to be a shift manager at Little Caesar's Pizza.

16. I have seven piercings. I got my first earrings when I was 5, my second set of earrings when I was 16, my left ear cartilage when I was 18, my nose ring when I was 20 and my tragus at 23. At 21 I got a third piercing in my left ear, but have since stopped wearing anything in it.

17. I have two tattoos: one on my foot and one on my back. The foot one is an Arabic calligraphy design that means "faith" and the back one is an Arabic design that means "hope". My third and final one will be Arabic for "love", giving me faith, hope and love, the greatest of the spiritual gifts according to 1 Corinthians 13:13.

18. So yeah, I am a Christian. (Shock! Horror!)

19. I am a Christian who is a Reformed and still reforming credobaptist and cautious non-cessationist with no opinion on the millennium or rapture. And by credobaptist, I mean I just think that's what the Bible says and its not like you're going to hell for baptizing your babies, and by non-cessationist, I mean I don't actually know that one can speak in tongues for ones own benefit, but perhaps one can for someone else's benefit, if tongues are interpreted. And by without opinion on the millennium and rapture, I mean the Left Behind series is such a load of crap.

20. I am really, really interested in theology and believe all Christians should be to some extent.

21. I wear red glasses (currently).

22. I really like cute shoes with kitten heels.

23. I am 24 (as of today's date, 8 May 2006), and I still wear my high school class ring.

24. I have a degree in English, emphasis in Creative Writing.

25. I had several shows on the University student radio station KXUA 88.3: the Essential Mix (Saturdays, noon-2, I believe), a 2-4am free form show and a 10am-12pm eclectic show. I called myself DJ Xia.

26. I want to be a midwife. I'm planning on going back to school soon to get a midwifery degree.

27. I believe in homebirth.

28. I believe in breastfeeding.

29. I don't necessarily believe in circumcision (except for religious reasons, or of course, medical reasons).

30. I also believe in a woman's right to choose whatever freaking methods of childbirth and parenting she believes is right for her and her family.

31. I can't keep plants alive.

32. In September 2004 I married the most wonderful, handsome, loving man in the universe, a Scotsman by the name of Scott. Yes, Scott from Scotland.

33. We have two adorable kittens together, Remedios the Beauty and Clementine.

34. Remedios the Beauty is named after a character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude.

35. Clementine is named after the character in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

36. Gabriel Garcia Marquez is probably one of my favourite authors of all time.

37. I love the Bronte sisters. They are my favourite authoresses.

38. I love to read.

39. I supposedly write poetry.

40. I have never cheated on anyone or shoplifted.

41. I make friends easily.

42. I just have trouble keeping them.

43. I got my first mobile phone at age 22.

44. I once lost fifteen pounds on WeightWatchers.

45. I have visited nine countries: US, Venezuela, Pakistan, Jordan, Israel, Mexico, Canada, UK and France, in that order. But I plan on visiting many more.

46. I'm afraid of heights, but I'd really like to go on a hot air balloon.

47. I'm terrified of spiders. Like phobia terrified.

48. I also have a fear of burglars, kidnappers and stopped escalators.

49. I used to be afraid of thunderstorms, but now I LUV them.

50. My husband and I spent a total of seven weeks together the entire time we were dating.

51. I break a lot of things on accident.

52. I like Diet Dr Pepper, Mountain Dew and Irn Bru (diet or original).

53. I have a serious problem dieting, because I cannot say no to chocolate or cheese.

54. I once delivered a pizza to Paula Jones. She didn't tip.

55. I worked in a law firm right out of high school and once got to assist in trial, handing the files to the lawyer during his arguments. I kept my own notes of the trial and shared them with the lawyer during a recess. He was so impressed with some of my observations that he actually used one of my points (that he hadn't picked up on himself) in his closing statement.

56. Most of my friends my whole life have been male.

57. I got dumped once for being a virgin.

58. I was a virgin until the night of my wedding. So was my husband.

59. I am completely against the birth control pill. (But I'll let others make up their own minds.)

60. I am not, however, against all contraceptives.

61. I bit my nails incessantly until I was 18. At 18, I decided it simply had to stop. Now I only bite when I'm freaking the heck out about something.

62. I can't really swim. ("I only dog paddle".)

63. So yeah, The Princess Bride is probably my favourite movie ever.

64. Most of the kids hated me from about 4th grade to 9th grade.

65. I hate my ass, legs and arms.

66. I love my eyes, lips and hair.

67. I love old hymns.

68. I do not so much like modern Praise & Worship songs.

69. I think Christian music generally sucks.

70. I love gin, Bombay Sapphire in particular.

71. I'm not a full-time smoker, but I do enjoy a good fag here and there.

72. My birthday is April Fools Day.

73. I keep in touch with only one of my college roommates (the one who happened to be my best friend beforehand anyway). I had seven altogether.

74. I kinda buy into the conspiracy theories surrounding 9/11.

75. I can't decide which way I lean politically. I think I'd be what they call "a moderate" but that sounds so lame.

76. I love being married. I love my husband.

77. I love skirts and dresses.

78. I love Rangers.

79. I've never broken any bones except for one of my toes once.

80. When I was about 6, my neighbour Justin and I found a baby bird that had been knocked out of its nest lying on the ground. We tried to nurse it back to health by cracking walnuts and acorns for it to eat. I'm pretty sure the bird didn't make it.

81. I used to have a pet rat named Squirt.

82. I turtle-sat a water turtle named Speedy for about two and a half years for a friend/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend.

83. I have seen Bill Cosby live.

84. I once put a one dollar bill in Har Mar Superstar's underwear at a gig.

85. I've been given a professional lap dance at a strip club (free of charge!).

86. I performed in a band called Sharkie my last year of college. I think I managed about three gigs before the other two guys joined another band, and Sharkie went defunct.

87. I performed in a band called Oswald's Pool in high school. I think I managed one gig before the drummer pretty much threw me out. (The band didn't last much longer after that anyway, once the bass player got expelled from school and the drummer and guitarist were no longer allowed to hang out with him.)

88. I'm currently growing my hair out.

89. Green is one of my favourite colours even though it is the Celtic colour and I support Rangers.

90. I like painting even though I'm not very good at it.

91. I love my name, Lori.

92. I was never any good at climbing trees.

93. My favourite vegetable, hands down, is okra.

94. My husband and I have decided that when we get old and one of us is surely close to dying, we are going to take a hot air balloon ride over Africa and jump, and hopefully get eaten by lions.

95. I used to go to raves. I was slipped acid once at a rave, and it was horrifying.

96. I think it is unfortunate that Meg Ryan is so typecast. I think she'd make a really good bad girl.

97. I was obsessed with The Babysitters Club books when I was a kid.

98. I am really interested in cell biology.

99. My husband and I plan to have three kids. I really want two of them to be twins.

100. If I were offered either baby carrots or a packet of crisps, I would honestly take the carrots. But no one ever offers me carrots, so that's why I eat so many packets of crisps.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Poetry Nightmare

(Doesn't Scott have a lovely smile?)

I keep having this nightmare that the poems I sent to the poetry contest were all about my cats. And then I always have a conversation with the judge who tells me poems about cats don't really do anything for them - or anyone who is serious about poetry, for that matter. Then I feel really stupid for submitting poems about my cats to a proper poetry magazine.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Weekend Round-Up

At David's request, I present you with...

The Catellites!

The Catellites! They are so sad. I love them so much. Does that make me a weird cat lady?

In other news, I woke up eeeearrrlllyyyy Saturday morning to drive into Glasgow to get...

My new tattoo

This! It's a contemporary Arabic calligraphy design that means hope. From Nihad Dukhan's website. It's not the best quality photo, but it is really quality artwork. I got it done at Irezumi in the west end, and while I don't so much like the guy who does the bookings, the actual artist, Steven, is an absolutely amazing tattooist. So for quality tattoos, you'll get them done there, you just may be treated like crap in the process. (So rude, that one guy is.)

Then Saturday night, we had our friends Debbie and Niall over for a barbeque at the house. It was such a good time. We hardly ever see them, so spending the evening just catching up was great. They even brought a pineapple to grill! And did I mention that Scott grills a mean steak? And that Marks & Spencer makes a mean marinade? And I make an awesome macaroni and cheese?

And finally, I didn't make it to the Highland Games this weekend. Why? Because a spare Rangers ticket came available, and I pounced on it! So I got to go to the last game of the season. Against Hearts. And though it didn't matter leaguewise, it felt absolutely freaking BRILLIANT to kick their arrogant Edinburgh butts today.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Gotta Blog (Strike a Pose)

Originally uploaded by ThisBeautifulMess.
It's been far too long since I've been interesting.

Sure I've kept you fully up-to-date on the Scottish Premiership, posted pictures from my mobile and quoted Scripture in honour of Easter.

But man... I'm f'ing boring.

So, ladies and gents, with absolutely no direction in mind, I am going to wow you with whatever words wonder out of wori.


So, to get back in blogging shape, we'll begin with a list. And see where that wist woes.


1. I wandered (gah!) over to this website (eck!), Joy Unexpected, from a link on Mom's Daily Dose by one of my favourite blogs' authoress Amalah, and there's a really good post that kinda made me cry. And her Flickr photos, might I add, are so incredibly fantastic, they make me want to birth children. (Though, that's not really anything new, is it?)

2. As I spoke to my friend Amanda last night on the phone - during the most fantastic (I've already used that adjective) thunder-and-lightning storm I've seen in Scotland to date - I realised I've not actually made it clear yet to the blogging community that.....

Dun dun DUN!

I really am going to go back to school to be a midwife.

I know I've chatted about it on here, and I've talked about it for years, and I've even blogged about it in the past (back when I wanted to be a "midwife-missionary-artist-writer-rockstar-scientist-ballerina"), but yeah, it's actually now in The Plan, The Five-Year Plan.

Obviously things can go wrong or get delayed, but according to The Plan, I will begin the course next October, by which time I will be a three-year resident of Scotland, thus getting up to five years worth of education fully paid, and hopefully Scott will be earning enough ££ to sort us out for bills. Also in The Plan is a sub-clause which states that we desperately hope I get some bursaries too to make this plan implementable.

The course is three years long so by 2010, I'll be licensed to rock YO baby OUT of its world.

3. I discovered another Calvinist at my church. In the Church of God. There are Calvinists in the Church of God! Someone call the ... council or whatever they have.

("The Church of God" does not refer to the Church of God, as in the universal Church, but rather the denomination that Scott and I currently belong to. FYI.)

4. Maybe I've mentioned, maybe I haven't, but ya'll, this book I'm reading, In the Face of God by Michael Horton, is so good, I'd recommend it to anyone. Anyone that has the patience for a theological book, anyway. I'm 3/4s done with it. I'd lend it to you, but it's my dad's.

5. Sunday is the Gourock Highland Games. If I had my camera (which is once again stuck in America), I'd promise to take pictures. Maybe I'll buy a disposable. The Highland Games are awesome - hundreds of big, rock solid men in kilts throwing steel poles and playing tug-of-war and wrestling each other in kilts and lots of wind blowing and lots of men with big huge muscles walking around wearing kilts and did I mention they are all in kilts and hello, single girls, there will be MUSCLELY men in KILTS - muscles - men in kilts - single girls perving musclely men in kilts... SOMEONE NEEDS TO COME WITH ME! Scott's coming, yes, but he just can't seem to get into the whole perving on totally built men in kilts.

6. My cats, as I've mentioned, were spayed yesterday. They were breaking my heart all day. But last night, before bed, when I had to put the satellite dish/lampshade thing on them to keep them from licking their wounds, and had to watch them freak out and desperately fight to get them off, I burst into tears. I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt like the meanest mommy in the world. Not only had I STARVED THEM FOR TWELVE HOURS, made them ride in the car AN HOUR BOTH WAYS, and gotten their OVARIES AND WOMBS REMOVED, I was now forcing them to walk around in a horrifying big collar that was picking up TV signals in Taiwan and then LEAVING THEM so I could go to bed. I hate myself so much right now.

Ahem. Hm.

After all that, I still believe that I have managed to emerge from writing this post STILL BORING.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

UEFA Cup for Rangers

Well, Hearts beat Aberdeen 1-0 so we've finished third in the league. Unfortunately that means no Champions League for us next year, but we'll be in the UEFA Cup which is second best.

Ah well, there's always next season to look forward to, new manager and all.

Mon 'Gers! You played well, and I'm proud.

(In other news, Clementine and Remedios were spayed today. They are so pathetic right now, with their shaved squares and semi-closed eyes. They WAILED in the car on the way in this morning and then meowed sadly and helplessly on the way back. My poor darlings. They don't know why they feel so weird.)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Rangers GOAL!

Rangers GOAL!
Originally uploaded by ThisBeautifulMess.
Or at least that's the plan for tonight. After work, I'm hopping a bus (after parking my car somewhere safe) with my friend Jamie who so graciously offered me his spare ticket and am heading east for the Rangers/Hibs away game at Easter Road. I've got my blue jumper packed and ready.

This game is IMPORTANT, ya'll. There are only two games left for the season, and Hearts are still four points ahead. We MUST win this game tonight, and Hearts MUST lose theirs. Then we MUST win the last game - which is against Hearts. So keep your fingers crossed, everyone.

(fit-baw) Dialect, chiefly Scot. ~n. 1. (m) the beautiful game 2. (f) stupid game involving 22 grown men (and 3 officials of dubious parentage and eyesight) kicking a lump of leather around a field, often sparking irrational behaviour, bad language and blind devotion to a team or player, to the detriment of normal marital relations. ( see fitba' widow)

Monday, May 01, 2006


I've finally figured out how to get pictures off my mobile onto my computer! Hail the Bluetooth Dongle! (I was going to title this post "Playing With My Dongle" but you all have such dirty minds.)

This is perfect, seeing as I have nothing interesting to actually write about right now (hence the lack of posts lately).

So let's cut the crap and get right to the pictures!

I'm Amanda, the sad flower
My best friend Amanda, having a little too much fun with my phone.

Me having a little too much fun with my phone.

Remedios resting on Scott's back. Scott taught her that.

My dads getting along just great!

Me and my mom on the ferry to Dunoon.

Me and my husband.

My lovely parents.


Me, Scott and Michaela in green. (Scott is so checking out my boobs.)

Me and Michaela.

Scott and a pint of Guiness.

Yeah, gosh that was the most uninspired post ever. What a waste of fun pictures. Anyway, sorry.