Friday, September 09, 2011

Lori's Pet Hates of Social Media Usage - The What-Not-To-Do's

I appreciate social media as much as the next girl. I appreciate wanting perfect strangers to know intimate details of your life. I have a blog, I have a Facebook account, I have an unused Twitter account. I get it. I'm down with it. But what I'm not down with is the way some people use the internet to, well, do the following.

These are a few pet hates (pet peeves if you are in America) of mine regarding social media. They are the things I wish to goodness people wouldn't do, because they are annoying. And ignorant. And down-right inappropriate. So here I go. I may come across a bit self-important here, but that is the sole reason social media exists. And you'll find that narcissism isn't one of my pet hates.

#1: Spelling and/or txt spkFirst let's just start with the basics. Spelling. Grammar. This is not because I am a linguaphile. Or maybe it is, but not entirely. It's just that text speak is of the devil. And okay, just because u r on fb on ur fone doesnt mean u shuld stop spking englsih. ffs pls rite properly bc u make smart ppl want 2 kill u, omg. do u think ur teacher in skool wuld except this on ur homewrok? o u say u arent n skool so wtf? omg u r rite wat was i thinking lol.Yeah, um, did you start to feel your head spin, your heart rate increase, your blood pressure rise, the sweat form on your brow when reading that? No? Then you are a perpetrator and you must be stopped.

#2: Vague Calls to SympathyOne of the most annoying things people can do is leave a message on Facebook like, 'Some people. Do they even care who they hurt?' Or 'That's it, I'm done. Who needs friends like her anyway?' And then almost equally annoying is the numerous comments saying, 'Oh hunny, u ok? [[[[Hugs]]]]]' or 'fone me if u need to talk'. GAH. WHY do people do this? If you are that hungry for love and attention, get a dog. But please, do NOT do this next thing.

#3: Hang Out Your Dirty LaundryCan we say embarrassing? Not to mention inappropriate? Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than someone sharing with the world (and thus me) the not so pleasant dirty dealings of their personal lives. It reminds me of this really bad first date I went on once where half an hour into it, the guy tells me he has a serious problem with pornography. There are some things we don't need to know. If you have been to work five weeks in a row with a hangover, you aren't doing yourself many favours by broadcasting it. If you hooked up with a rando while drunk and on the prowl last weekend and you are soooo embarrassed, we don't actually want to know (or care). If your husband blows up at you and insults you during in couple's argument, please don't share it with the internet. In fact, that should be an item number all to itself. Don't talk crap about your husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend online. Because, in case you don't understand how the human mind works, people who don't personally know your spouse/partner will then think he or she is a jackass, and that you are a sad, pitiful, victimized weakling for staying with them. Not to mention, it is utterly disrespectful.

#4: Documenting Your Every Move(ment)Some people clearly have nothing better to do than blog or tweet or status update every mundane detail of their incredibly mundane lives. 'Just ate a sandwich. Now I need a drink.' Or 'Spent the last ten minutes in a daze while driving to work.' Or my personal favourite: 'At work and bored.' As a 'friend', I will block you from my feeds for this. As an employer, I would block you from your internet connection. Please, if you don't have something of interest to say, don't say anything at all.

And finally...

#5: Leaving Your Account Vulnerable to 'Frape'The misogynistic undertones devaluing rape thanks to this word aside, do people not protect their phones? Who still does not have some sort of code/number/word/pattern for securing their phones? And why do people leave their phones lying around when they get up to go to the toilet or the bar? Or is it that (and this I assume is more likely) people actually enjoy getting 'fraped', so they just intentionally leave their phones lying around unsecured for their friends to write stupid and usually obscene Facebook updates with? I think I have only ever twice laughed over a 'frape'; once was when someone allegedly announced her pregnancy and then was greeted with numerous mistaken congratulations, and then once when someone went into the profile page of a friend and changed the birthday so that the person was inundated with erroneous birthday greetings. Those were actually kinda funny. So I guess actually what I should say is this: If you are not funny enough to come up with a good prank, don't bother. Because no one actually thinks Mark suddenly loves the man parts and has decided to announce his new homosexual lifestyle this way via Facebook. And I am willing to bet his Facebook-using grandmother doesn't think it's very funny either.

Rant over. lol.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Glam Girls

Scott took the girls for a walk today to get them out of my hair while I tackled the disaster that was our bedroom. He took them to the Pound Shop and let them pick a toy each. Lolly chose one of those rubbery-bouncy light up toys that are totally gross, and Fifi picked a make-up kit. Scott thought it was plastic until they got home, and Fifi opened it to find 'real make-up!' So of course, we had to do make-overs.

Then of course Fifi wanted to give me a make-over too. No way was I going to allow that disgusting gellified gunk on my face, so I took out my stage make-up and let her go to town on me.

Afterwards, she asked me, 'Mum, tomorrow can I sit in our close with a jar and when the neighbours want their make-up done, I will do their make-up and they can pay me?'

Friday, September 02, 2011

Post 1,200!

There is a bit of pressure with this post as (as you can see) it is Post No. 1,200! And I haven't posted anything since... April?


In my lame defense... I've been busy?

But no really, I have!

And I thought (back in... April?) that if I refreshed the blog's look that I would get back into blogging but it's pretty obvious that, no.

Anyway, I'm sitting here on a Friday night in a cleanish living room with hair dye in my hair and thought, 'Oh to heck with it, I'll just write that 1,200th post.'

So here's what's on my mind:
The hubby said to me tonight, 'There are some good jobs I'd be qualified for in Bentonville' or something to that effect. And then the wheels in my head started turning, how I could move back to Fayetteville, be only hours away from my family, go back to work in my old place. My stomach started to get all butterflyish, though that could've just been the pizza I had for dinner, and I can't help but daydream about moving back home.

But then I really love it here. I love Scotland.

Oh, by the way, Arkansans, don't get your hopes up! I'm only daydreaming here!

So yeah, I mean, I have a good life here. I have amazing friends, two good self-run businesses, a nice flat, a fulfilling hobby in amateur dramatics, wonderful parents-in-law and sister/brother-in-law and nephew, and really great winter clothes. Could I really leave all that?

But if I went back to Fayetteville, I'd have old friends I would hopefully reunite with, JR's and the real proper indie music scene, a better choice of churches, my family only hours away, some of my best friends only hours away, and could start a nice collection of really great summer clothes.

But here in Scotland, Fifi goes to a good school where she is learning to speak Gaelic in a class of only 10, and we have the NHS, and we don't have Republicans or Democrats.

But in Arkansas, they don't have Labour or drug addicts using your tax money to get wasted and then pee on your walls while stabbing you with a broken Buckfast bottle.

But in Scotland, we don't have Republicans or Democrats. Or American Christians. Or patriotic Americans. Or Americans who think Scotland is part of England.

(Sorry, I'm perhaps a bit too British now in my opinion of Americans.)


So that's what's been on my mind tonight. And by now, my hair dye is ready to wash out.

So, that's that. Number 1,200. Maybe I'll reach 1,210 by December!