Monday, October 08, 2012
ODP Day 8: Temper Tantrums
I have to admit, this morning was the first morning I really didn't want to put this dress on!
I've always had a quick temper (just ask my parents!), but since having children, I've learned to tame it quite a bit. With Fifi, I am usually able to control my temper because I understand her so well. She is me. I can see her motives, her emotions, her reasons, her intentions, and therefore I can usually gauge how to deal with her in any given situation. Sure we have a fall-out now and again, but in general, I get her.
Lolly is a completely different kettle of fish. I. Do. Not. Get. Her. At all. I cannot understand why she does the things she does, why she won't listen, why she won't obey, I don't understand at all. Scott, on the other hand, sees her the way I see Fi. She is like him. She likes to wind people up, she likes to test them, she knows what buttons to press.
Anyway, she's been doing my head in.
It's incredible; every day at 1.30pm, she turns into a demon child. It's so precise, I could actually set my clock by it. And I just have no patience for it.
I've gotten loads of advice and what not, so that's not what I'm writing this for. It's more about me. Why do I let a three and a half year old get the better of me? Why can't I just remain calm and sort the situation out?
The truth is, we grown-ups aren't a whole lot more mature than children in many ways. I can't deal with her 'witching hour' as I call it, because at that same time of day, I am tired, I have been running around all morning, I'm maybe a little hungry and I'm bored.
Same as she.
So she takes all those 1.30pm feelings and turns them into a tornado. She begins disobeying, testing her limits, running around riot, breaking things, shouting, and what do I do? I start shouting, slamming things, saying things I don't mean... pretty much my own grown-up temper tantrum. To be honest, there are times when I could just break down and cry (and at times, I confess, I have), or would love to throw myself on the floor and punch and kick right there with her.
I really want to take control of my emotions when it comes to my darling middle child. I was the middle child too and in that sense I do understand some of what she must be feeling. New baby, big sister in school who gets to do cool things, middle child stuck in between and not sure where she fits in. I want to understand her, and I don't want to add confusion to her already uncertain world.
After I calmed down today, after she broke something of mine, and then smacked her head against my cheek during a tantrum (OWW), we sat together and talked. I made sure she understood that I loved her, even when she has been naughty (even WHILE she is being naughty) and then we played with a sticker book together. She kept kissing me and telling me she loved me, and I held her in my lap and squeezed her. I really do adore that child, and I know one day her 'free spirit' will be what makes her an incredible, strong, independent woman.
Here's just hoping that the Baby Jaguar ends up being a chilled out, calm, easy kid. They do exist, so I'm told.
We are taking part in the October Dress Project in support of Macmillan Cancer Support. Please consider donating to our cause.