Sniffles

Poor Fifi is feeling a bit out of sorts because of her cold. The health visitor was here this morning and put my mind at rest a bit about it, but I'm still sad for my little girl. She's doing okay, though, and isn't running a fever anymore (or at least not since I last checked). She's sleeping soundly in her Cuddle-U and snoring.

We got her a few things today - a bath seat so we can bathe her more easily, some books, some rattles, a thermometer (okay, that was for my own benefit) and some different shaped soothers. These are supposed to be 'closer to nature' so she might take them better.

I don't have anything worth saying anymore, do I? Yeah, I just watch a lot of Scrubs.

Here: Pictures! This is what you really want.


All 9lbs 6oz of her!


Self portraits!

Four Weeks Old

I'm allowed to drive. I phoned the insurance company, and they don't have any restrictions on driving after having a baby, so this morning I drove for the first time. I even left Fifi with Scott and my mom for twenty minutes. I went to Morrison's to pick up flowers and a card for my midwife as today was our last appointment together and also her birthday (happy birthday, Allison!). It was liberating, if not a bit terrifying, to be away from her. I couldn't have managed any longer than that twenty minutes, though, as I worried that she would get hungry the whole time I was out.

Which brings me to the point that I am now ready to attempt feeding her with expressed breastmilk in a bottle - ON OCCASION. I love our time together feeding, and I don't want to give that up at all. I want her to maintain a preference for the breast, so I won't be offering her a bottle very often at all. But I'm also concerned that if I don't introduce a bottle soon, it'll be too dificult to get her onto one later. Maybe that's not a big deal, as I don't see any problem with moving her from the breast straight to solids whenever that time may come, but a bottle will make it easier for me to leave her for an hour without worrying the whole time. So anyway, I'm going to start it tomorrow, I think, after her morning feed, expressing.

I'm also a bit worried that she may have a bit of a cold. She's too young for a cold! She's been sneezing a lot, and they've been a bit snotty. No! This makes my heart break into a million pieces. Girlfriend is only four weeks old.

Today! Four weeks old today! She's beautiful and looks cute now in her cloth nappies.

She's crying now so I'm gonna go cuddle her. Grandma has her right now, but my heart is upset and her nose is sounding way too congested and I might need to rush her to the A&E.....

Mum Lessons

After the Pooh Explosion 2007 disaster at IKEA on Saturday, I have learned to:
-always keep SEVERAL extra nappies in her bag
-always have a GOOD supply of wipes
-always keep an extra outfit in her bag and
-the sample sized Dettol given me in her free Bounty newborn bag is really useful for public changing rooms.

I have learned that.

Meeting Mamaw and Other Various Boring Things To Make a Full Post Out Of

My mom arrived safely yesterday, so Fifi has finally met her mamaw. Hopefully she'll meet her papaw soon (May is the plan).



It's really nice having my mom here. Fifi is getting spoiled rotten between the three of us all wanting to hold her all the time.

My mom also came bearing many gifts. Her Aunty Kristen and Uncle Danny bought her a Cuddle-U, which she loves. (Aunty K and Uncle D also bought Mummy Season One of Felicity, which Mummy loves!)



Today we're off to start her savings account and get my mom's money changed at the bank, and we also might do a bit of shopping. Not that I need to be spending any money right now... what with having to buy a new washing machine and all.

Tomorrow we're going to IKEA. I can't wait!

Scott and I have registered for a free trial period of Amazon.co.uk's DVD rental service. Our first DVD, Dirty Pretty Things arrived today. It's not a film I think my mom will particularly like, but we'll have to watch it soon anyway to get full use out of our free trial period. We watched I Heart Huckabees last night, and that also wasn't really Mom's cup of tea.

Fifi is doing really well. She sleeps pretty well at night, on most nights, only waking up two or three times for a feeding. She's a marvellous baby. We are incredibly blessed. I love her so much, more and more every time I look at her. And yeah, she has the best wardrobe EVER. (Gotta take pictures of some of her best stuff!)

I'm giving up ice cream for Lent. Ouch.

The End.

Innocence

Our Scottish Lassie
Originally uploaded by superlori.

With Ash Wednesday and Lent right around the corner, I've been thinking some about human depravity. On Ash Wednesday, we are marked with a cross of ashes to acknowledge our mortality ("Remember you are dust, and unto dust you shall return") and as a sign of repentance.

Looking at my daughter, it's hard to see anything beyond a perfect, innocent being. But the truth is, she isn't perfect and innocent. Though she's done no right or wrong of own, she is still born into sin and with a sinful nature. She is the daughter of Eve. It's hard to look at such a beautiful person and acknowledge that she is impure and deserves no good but by the grace of God. It seems morbid and nasty to imagine that cross of ashes placed on her forehead as well, but the truth still remains: she, like all of us, is dust and to dust will return.

It's hard to think about this and accept it as true. You may find it unpleasant that I'm saying any of this - after all, what's the point in thinking about it? I believe it's something I must confront for two reasons: one, as a test of my own faith - can and do I believe the Word of God even when it tells me something as unpleasant as this? and two, to remind myself of my duty to raise this child in Christ, to have her recognise her need for a Saviour, because of her depravity.

I don't have any grand conclusions to make from this observation. It's just what I've been thinking about. The mommy-brain isn't allowing me to think anything highly spectacular in relation to this. I don't even have any suave way of ending this paragraph. It's just been important for me to recognise this truth in light of what I can see with my own eyes and comprehend with my own understanding.

None of us are righteous, not even one.

Too Much TV

All I do during my 'free' time is watch DVD box sets.

I'm on my third season of Scrubs and third season of That 70's Show. After I finish the fourth season of That 70's Show, I suppose I'll have to move onto seasons one and two of The O.C. and possibly borrow the third season from Cheryl.

I've been trying to read Fire From Heaven (which I caved and ordered), but it's so hard to hold a book one-handed while nursing a baby. It's also hard to think.

Let's just say I've got mommy-brain to the extreme.

Substitute Valentine's

Well our substitute Valentine's Day was nice, though it still didn't go as planned. I suppose that kinda goes along with a) having a baby and b) living in the rain. Fifi kept me up all night wanting to nurse and continued her desperate need for Boobie throughout the entire morning. Our cute picnic plan had to be deserted due to the lovely Scottish weather, and we never made it out of the house to rent a romantic film. Scott made us dinner - steak and potatoes - and we drank Schloer. No wine for me and my mastitis antibiotics self. Then we watched The Game. Hardly your romantic comedy, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Then we went to bed. I forgot to give him his card. He forgot to give me the flowers he was intending to get. It was still a really nice day though, spent with the two greatest people on the planet. I'd still call it a success.

On a different subject, let's play a game.
Family Fortunes

Top 5 Things That Would Suck Should They Stop Working When You Have A Newborn:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Any guesses?

The number one answer according to our studio audience (of myself alone) is -
The Washing Machine!

Yes, folks, our washing machine is on the fritz. We discovered this yesterday when I pulled a soggy load out of it. I threw the clothes through an extra spin cycle to no avail. Hoping it was just a fluke (because I'm way too optimistic), I went ahead and put in another load, after wringing the previous load out and hanging them on the clothes horse. That second load? Ended in a massive pool of dirty water. Scott spent quite a bit of time trying to pull the items out without flooding the kitchen.

Remember all that talk about cloth nappies and what not that I was so excited about? Yeah, we still haven't gotten a chance to use them yet. We decided to just use disposables in the hospital because they were free, then after a couple of days at home using cloth, we discovered it was really irritating Fifi's cord so we decided to use disposables until the cord fell off. The cord fell off right after we'd bought an entire bag of nappies so we decided to use them up and then start the cloth again. And then our washing machine broke down. Disposables again.

In a way, I'm not too bothered. I love the cloth nappies, but both of us kinda don't like them so much for newborns. They are just so bulky on a tiny baby. I've seen cloth on a slightly older baby (one month), and they aren't nearly so cumbersome once the baby has grown a bit. But right now? They are really just too big. Even the tie-ons are too big for her tiny bum. So it's kinda okay for now. But soon and very soon, her adorable baby bum will be swathed in terry cloth bliss. But not until we figure out what we're going to do about the washing machine.

And we gotta figure that out pronto, because among the three of us, we make some serious laundry.

Busy Un-Valentine's Day

Today has been really tiring. We've been out and about all day. At 10 o'clock this morning we went into the mortgage centre to show off Fifi to all of Scott's workmates. I have to admit, I had a hard time letting fifty thousand people I've never met before handle my daughter but I made it through. We were there for an hour. We were then supposed to meet Scott's mum and some of her mates for lunch at 12, so we went home, fed and changed Fifi and headed back in to eat lunch. Again, I had to pass her around but at least it was on a lesser scale. After lunch, we came home again, and Fifi and I napped. Then, after feeding and changing her again, we went back into town to buy groceries. Let me tell you, I'm exhausted.

Today is Valentine's Day. Valentine's is one of my absolute favourite holidays. I look forward to Valentine's every year. Scott and I take turns each year planning this day, but this year, of course, the plans were superceded by, you know, having a baby. Scott planned to make us a romantic dinner and watch a romantic film, but all day we've been grouchy. It just hasn't felt Valentinesy at all. I haven't even signed the card I bought him!

So we decided to put Valentine's off until tomorrow. This makes me very happy. We're going to have a boring casserole for dinner tonight and start over tomorrow. We're going to take Fifi to Cornalees where Scott and I first held hands and maybe have a picnic or something. Then Scott'll make our romantic dinner, and we'll rent a lovey-dovey film. And I'll sign his card.

I love my family. That's my Valentine's love message for today. :)

[Breast] Milk: It Does A Baby Good

It's hard to do very much with a baby permanently attatched to your boob.

Let me first state for the record that I love breastfeeding. It's very special, and I feel good about giving Fifi the very best I can. But dude, no one told me just how exhausting it would be. Everone is so romantic about it, about how relaxing it is to just rest with your baby and bond and all that. They tell you its easy once you get the hang of it. No one talks about how atrophying it feels to sit and do nothing most of the day. No one talks about how frustrating it can be to put the baby down after an hour long feed just to hear her hungry cries ten minutes later. No one tells you about mastitis and painful engorgement and leaking profusely through a breast pad, bra and two shirts.

So I just thought I would mention those things for the uninitiated.

I do love her innocent blue eyes glancing around when she's feeding. I do love her little hands holding onto my breast and stroking it with her fingers. I love her little milky face when she's done. And I love her wildly excited grins and brightly shining eyes and uncontrollably flayling arms when she sees The Boob come out. But I was not prepared for all the physiological factors. I can see why so many people give up. It's hard.

But in case I've now put anybody off, please don't give up. It's not only the best nutrition your baby can get, it's significantly better. I won't get into all the physiological stuff about antibodies and gut flora and e-coli, I'll just say it's good practice for when they're teenagers - that is, in the sense that they are always gonna cause you a lot of pain and suffering.

(And what you can save now in formula you can put away for all those school trips and visits to the mall they're gonna want money for.)

Lame Video In Lieu of Blogging

Fifi's Family on Vimeo