Monday, June 09, 2014

Who Makes Your Life Meaningful?

Okay, am I the only one who doesn't 'get' Google+ ? I mean, I rarely check it, and I never update it (besides shamelessly +1'ing each of my blog posts), and I certainly don't 'follow' any celebrities, but some reason, when I do have a look (to see if I 'get' it yet), I have photos of Usher hugging the Beibs and Mark Wahlberg posing all Mark Wahlbergish. And some person in a fabulously enormous wedding dress called Coco Rocha thanking her husband for giving her life meaning.

And it got me thinking how I'm either the least romantical person in the world or some kind of feminist, because, and don't take this the wrong way, my husband doesn't give my life meaning.

Please don't misunderstand me - my husband is the ROXORS. He is 100% - nah, 150% - too awesome to me. He is my all time best friend, a sexy hunk of a lover, and the only person I can spend all my time with (or, well, like 75% of my time with) without wanting to punch in the throat. I never get tired of him (or well, rarely) and I anxiously look forward to him coming home from work each day. When I hear his key in the door, I still get excited flutters. If he were to die or run off with his secretary or get abducted by aliens, I would LOSE IT. Like completely lose all my shit. ALL OF IT. I would cry all day into a tub of ice cream while every so often adding more hot water to the bath that I'd refuse to get out of. Like, he is my AWESOME.

But, well, I'd like to think my life has meaning with or without him. I'd like to think that there's something more to my purpose on earth than my man...

I'm sure this is just a phrase. It sounds super romantic and maybe just means it *feels* like my life would have no meaning without you... or something... compared to me *without* you, my life would have no meaning... or something. I really can't figure this one out, to be honest.

I could argue that NO life has intrinsic meaning - nihilism - but I'm too optimistic for that. I think we make our lives meaningful by the things we do and the people we affect. I'd like to think my life has meaning when I help someone, or by the way I raise my children who will hopefully carry on after I'm gone, or things along those lines. I think my husband and I make our own lives meaningful for each other by the way we treat each other and love each other and support each other. His life has its meaning, and mine has mine. I don't believe I make his life meaningful; how insulting! His life has meaning by whom he helps and supports and what he leaves for mankind. Part of what gives his life meaning is the way he positively influences me, and that's part of my meaning for my life too, how I affect him. We help each other grow into better people. But we don't give each other meaning.

I'm sure this Coco Rocha would agree with all of this and would say it's just a romantic expression. But maybe not. I know a lot of women (and men) who really believe their lives would be meaningless without another person. This is really sad. No one gives your life meaning. Only you can give meaning to your own life. So treat others well, leave a legacy in any small way you can and leave this planet healthy enough for the next generation to enjoy. And don't let anyone else define your life's worth.

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