Roundabout

I forgot to mention - I passed my theory test. Now the only thing between me and driving freedom is the practical which I will book on Friday (seeing as it's 45 freaking pounds to book). I can't wait to drive again.

neglect

Hi guys.

I've realised as of late that our blog is steadily getting boringer and boringer. And we've been neglectful of the blog, and Scott doesn't even blog at all any more...

I'd like to say we've been busy, but that would be a lie.

I've been going through a lot lately, internally. I'm a very open person who needs girlfriends to talk to and share her feelings and experiences with, and since I've been very much without that for a long time, I've not surprisingly become a very closed person. Poor Scott. The woman he married is not the same woman he's married to now. But he loves me. He gives me so much support. He takes care of me and understand me and comforts me.

I've been this alternate Lori for a very long time now, or at least what feels like a very long time now. But a few weeks ago, I did some serious decision-making about my attitude and self-seclusion; I simply cannot go on like this. I can't trudge through life waiting for the next phase, dragging my frown around like a stuffed dog on a leash, and wasting the experiences God intends for me to have.

Anyway, I decided I was going to 'better myself'. I developed a renewed interest and motivation in my poetry and have been working diligently to get some poems ready for submission to a competition. I have kept up with my running. I am considering joining the Bronte Society and a writers' circle when I move to Glasgow.

But yesterday at church I was awakened with another realisation. I'm still living for myself. Whether in a depression or in self-improvement, I'm still looking out for No. 1. The message on Sunday was about idolatry. Three different kinds of idolatry were mentioned, though they were not all-inclusive, and I realised how much I fell into the last category: self.

No matter how happy I try to make myself, no matter how much I try to snap out of this stupid depression I've been in, nothing is going to change if that is my focus. It's like walking through a forrest and staring at your feet the whole time. You'll end up just rambling about and never get anywhere. You've got to take your eyes off yourself and look forward - then you'll possibly get somewhere.

I don't think my decision to enjoy myself is a bad one. It just has the wrong slant. Joining the Bronte Society and writing poetry are good things. Running is a good thing. But I ought to be looking higher. I ought to be seeking Jesus. It's for him I live, is it not? At least, it's because of him I live, though I can't say with honesty that I am living for him.

I want things to change in my heart. I want to accept life as it is right now and do whatever it is that I am meant to be doing right now. I want to live for Jesus. I want to take my eyes off me and put them on Jesus and on others. I want to be a better wife to Scott. I want to be a better person overall. I want to be someone that makes a difference in others' lives.

But I'm so selfish.

Patriotic Parcel

Patriotic Parcel

Teehee! I think I discovered a way to blog from work!!! (Pictures anyway.) It will make a series of posts, I think, for which I apologise, and will likely change when I get home, but for now, hurrah!


EDIT: Psuedo-editing, i.e., merging to one post, accomplished at 17.57, i.e., as soon as bloody possible because it was annoying the crap out of me.

I received a note through the door requesting a pick up for a parcel at the post office Tuesday. Eager to find out what it was, Scott and I retrieved <-- this parcel on Wednesday. Our eyes were dazzled by the stars and stripes, and a patriotic hand rested abreast my heart. (Ok, the second part didn't happen.)

Boob Shot

I asked Scott to take a picture of me in my new shirt (my Christmas present from my sis-in-law-to-be). This is what he took.

New Shirt

So I had to take the picture myself. But I'm making the ugliest face ever, and my hair looks like it hadn't been washed in two days (it hadn't), so I spared you the trauma.

Thanks, sis-in-law-to-be! I love it, and it's a perfect fit. Thanks for the CD, too!




Now, for Cat Pictures!(Yes, I've become that person.)

Clementine

Demure and non-chalant, that's my Clementine.

Remedios!

Rem isn't very photogenic like Clem is. Rem is a fighter, not a lover, of the camera.

Clementine!

'I like being held by my armpits.' Translation: 'I'm a bit of a slow cat.'

Clementine

'I listen to obscure bands and put arty photos of myself on myspace. I so don't care, by the way.'

Remedios

'Gah, I really hate that camera.'

Remedios

'WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?!'



**** And finally, The Highlight of My Day

Valentine Rose

Note reads:
'to Lori
from Christopher
as freinds'

A pupil brought both me and the other receptionist a Valentine rose today. He's our favourite kid, he's so sweet and charming, and he literally made my day!

If I Were a Superhero...

my superpower would be destroying things. Naturally this means I'd be a villain, unless by some miracle I got to be the endearing Screech-like character who always mucks things up, but is so lovable you forgive him/me, because it all worked out in the end.

Scott has dubbed me The Great Destroyer, and never has an alter-ego been more appropriate. Whether it's throwing a red rug into the wash just to find out at the end of the cycle that it isn't machine-washable and having to clean out the machine of all the red fibers and the tangled net of matting which have all molded into a big, grimy, slimy mess or dropping a glass bottle of fine olive oil on the kitchen floor while barefoot or tripping over a cord in a friend's house and snapping it in two, thus rendering them phoneless and internetless, it's always something. And it's something every day. Scott has a bet that I can't go a single day without destroying something, and so far he's winning this bet. I try, I really try, to be careful, to not drop the straightening iron on my toe or wack Scott in the face with my foot or knock over the floor lamp or not drop my mobile on the concrete, but it's of no use. I'm seriously the clumsiest person on Planet Earth. And such a power is really hard to come by.

I lurk around this blog, Daring Young Mom, and she says she has the super-power of always being able to find the closest parking space in a shopping centre. It seems she really does. Well, my super-power would probably end up blowing up her parking space, with her car in it, and probably on the day she decided to take all her most prized jewels into the bank for safe keeping. Sigh.

So, in the spirit of villains and superheros, I give you this:






What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com.

God's Good Gifts (for today!)

(Presbyterians, have no fear, this has nothing to do with faith healing or speaking in tongues.)

I just wanted to tell everyone about how kind God is.

I know most people don't believe in God, and many of those who do, don't believe God bothers with stuff like this. Many people would call what I am about to describe as coincedence, luck or fate. But I believe in God and I believe that he does care about stuff like this so behold:

We don't have millions of cash to throw around. We're not poor, we're not desperate, we're not searching for a roomy cardboard box to move into, but we ain't loaded. So extra things like, oh for instance, tickets to see Rangers take on Villareal in Scotland's first trip to the last 16 of the Champions League, aren't really on our budget's list of priorities. However, things like, oh those tickets, are quite big on MY list of priorities. I knew we didn't have an extra £80 floating around just waiting to be spent so we didn't either bother to try and book tickets when they went on public sale. I had resigned myself to not going. I'd watch it on the big screen at the pub while eating a steak pie and beans. However, the Awesome Season-Ticket Holder, who also goes by the name of Jamie, had put in for two tickets for us just in case. Meanwhile, Scott and I, while examining our 'Budget Forecast' which I so expertly put together while not working at work, noticed that we had several bills we didn't have to pay this month, like council tax. No, it wasn't related to the Special Angel we have that lurks about and pays our phone bills and drops cash in our letterbox*, it was just, well, in my opinion, God's timing. So then, today, Jamie phoned to say the tickets had actually come in and if we still wanted them, they were still ours. So first, this is where I think God gave us/me a good gift we did not deserve or need. You may think this is stretching it, but not me. I am certain that God cares about even the small details like going to a football game that means a lot to us in this insignificant little world we dwell in. We could afford these tickets if we wanted. Now enter the Unbelievable Amazing and Stupendous and Loving Husband, who also goes by the name of Scott. I left the decision up to him, because a)he is just simply better with money than me and my emotions played far too big a role in this situation to make a wise decision and b)he is the head of this household**. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Unbelievably Amazing and Stupendous and Loving Husband, after careful consideration, agreed to let us purchase the tickets. Ladies and Gentlemen, my second item on my Super-Selfish Wishlist has been granted to me, by no cause of my own and by my in no way deserving or earning it. Despite my posting my selfish and ungrateful wishlist, God gave me something that was really important to me.

(Ok, now almost all of you are desperate to mock and smirk and make snarky*** comments, which you are most certainly free to do.)

But next (no, that was not all), I can hardly call this coincedence or luck. One thing we are out of is dishwasher tablets. Sure we can go get some, but we haven't had the time and until our recent discovery of certain bills not needing paid, we didn't really actually want to waste our money on such a thing when dishes CAN (I've been told) be washed by hand. But today, when I checked the mail, we had received a small parcel. Lo and behold, it was a free sample from Tesco. And lo and behold, it was a free sample of dishwasher tablets. Again, smirk and mock, but come on, I think God's just reminding us He's there and regardless of all the unreasonable stupid expenses coming up****, we won't have to sell any kidneys or play three chords on a guitar in the streets with a paper cup that says, "Tips pls".

Ok, that's all. I didn't type this up to convince anyone that God is real, I just had to share my good experiences, and well, give the glory to God since that's where I believe the excitement and glory should go.


*Recently we had what we decided could only be a Special Angel following us around. We had a phone bill mysteriously paid for - that we ABSOLUTELY did not pay ourselves - and had £60 dropped in our letterbox with an anonymous note. We have been very thankful for this Special Angel or Special Human who has either made an error or thought of us with love and generosity.

**Many people are offended by the idea that the man is the head of the household. You are free to disagree but please do not attack us for believing this very strongly for our own home. Neither of us believe in Scott bullying or bossing me around or lording it over me, but we do believe that Scott has the last say in situations that have been discussed, such as the purchase of extremely pricey football tickets. A woman may find this very irritating, but imagine for a moment that your husband just spent £80 of your shared money on football tickets without you having any say or when you were concerned about finances or when you really didn't want him to. Yes.

***'Snarky' is a new word I've discovered, and I love it and have been desperate to use it. It's so good.

****Come this fall we'll have a whole new set of stupid visa expenses to pay as we go through the visa process all over again to petition for my 'indefinite leave to remain'. This also means that we need to have an awesome-looking bank account starting around April to convince the British government that we are financially kick-ass enough to allow me to live in Britain fo-evah. That's all I'm saying.

Lori’s Super-Selfish Wishlist

There are so many things I want right now that I simply cannot afford, so what’s more appropriate than whining about it on my blog?

I want (but cannot have)…
1. Rangers season tickets
2. Tickets to the Rangers v Villareal match
3. A house in Kelvingrove/-hall/-bridge/-side
4. Another car (so there’d be one for me and one for Scott)
5. A Thai massage
6. These books
7. A Lumie Bodyclock
8. A new digital camera (mine is literally falling apart)
9. This knife block-->
10. A romantic holiday with my husband
11. An mp3 player for Scott*
12. The O.C. Season One box set
13. More bookshelves

‘I’d have all the money in the world if I was a wealthy gir-r-r-rl….’


And if I can just add what I wish I could have in general, I’d have…
1. A writing or design job
2. Scratch that, no job (or just a part-time job)
3. Scott in a job that doesn’t screw him over all the time
4. A clean house
5. Clean laundry
6. A maid to keep my house and laundry clean
7. A driver’s license
8. More hours in a day (or fewer hours at the office)
9. Clear skin
10. An awesome church
11. A transporter
12. A delicious curry that is actually good for you
13. Fewer bills
14. A personal secretary to handle our fewer bills
15. A direct train line from Greenock to Anniesland and free rail tickets for a year



*I got Scott an mp3 player for Christmas, but when he opened it on Christmas day, we realised the salesperson had put the device in the wrong box so none of the accessories worked with it. We returned it but did not get a new one because they didn’t have any others like it. It took them a week to process the money back into our account and by then we were so Christmas-budgetted out that we never got him another. I regret this so deeply.

'People come into our lives and walk with us a mile...' Ok, not really, none of that rubbish. But we are going to miss Jonathan and Sarah more than I can say. They were the only people I had when I moved here, and they've taught us so much in the time we've known them. They'll still be here until May, but I miss them already.

But on the other hand, God has perfect timing. He's given me, I'd say, at least two really good (local) friends (by the names of Jenny and Jamie) in the time I've lived here, who both mean so much to me in different ways. And I think I'm in the process of making more. So while the Hayses may be off to seek new adventures in the distant land of Utah, I'm grateful to have other friends already lined up. And we'll still have the magnificent Bryce and Ashley for possibly quite a while longer, so it will be no clean break from the Edinburgh crowd, and for this I am also thankful.

I don't know where this is leading so I'll just finish by saying I've had a good weekend, with people from work and with Alasha (who was a team member on my Scotland TMI team) and her sister Mae and especially with my husband who spent the day with me just being my best friend.

Eh, the end.

Scott Rox

Yes, ladies, let me just tell you how I came home to a clean house TWICE this week. Either Scott's been reading the same blogs I have been, or he's just a splendiferous husband. It's likely a combo of both, but at any rate, do you even know how good it feels to come home from what feels like twelve hours of work (when you leave at 6:15 and get home at 6), exhausted, grumpy, on the verge of a mental, emotional and physical breakdown, to a clean kitchen, running dishwasher and tidy living room? Oh my gosh, people, it's a little taste of Heaven.

I was so happy I sang while cooking that dear man his dinner. I wanna take him upstairs.

Odds and sods

(I had to check with Scott to make sure 'sods' wasn't a bad word, after the embarrassing 'bugger' debacle.)

1. I wimped out of running tonight. I think it's only right that I admit that because I know if I had run, I'd have bragged about it. But no, I opted for a night in, wearing pjs, messing about on my laptop. But I'm running tomorrow during lunch - that is, if I can get off my bum and go hang up my clothes that are in the wash so my running gear will be dry for tomorrow. (Blast having no dryer.)

2. Something is wrong with the security on my laptop. It won't let me sign into hotmail, yahoo mail, or msn messenger. I've been through the entire control panel to no avail.

3. I. Am. So. Sick. of. Special. K.

4. I don't know if you're allowed to do this, but here I go. Even though I am so. sick. of Special. K., it's doing the trick. Look at my trousers! Admittedly, they were never TIGHT on me, but look! Look at that extra room! And I've got four more days to go!


5. Hmm, while I'm at it, check out how long my hair is.


6. Ok and since we're looking at pictures, look how cute and emo Scott is.

(Scott's not really emo, and I don't even know if this picture is emo, because the word 'emo' has no real definitive meaning.)

7. Um, my cats just hissed at each other and then bounded off together in search of new adventures. They are so weird.

8. Exactly seven weeks before I'm back in the US of A for a visit.

9. I've been busying myself with creating some designs, just for fun, for the practice, for t-shirts. I'll let you know if I come up with one I'm not uber-embarrassed about. I'm just feeling my way through Macromedia Freehand, so you know, it's a learning process. I'll never be a graphic designer, but on the other hand, it sure is fun to design graphics.

10. I think I just fell asleep from boredom from this post. I'll leave you with two links of blogs I love to read: VeryMom.com and Amalah.com. If you are a woman, mother and/or pregnant, you'll enjoy these. You may enjoy them if you are a man, father and/or not pregnant, this I don't know. But I'm just a woman, and I love these two blogs.

Provisional License Holder, Whoo Whoo!

Yeah, that's me, the holder of a bona fide provisional license - I can drive again! That is, with the company of another driver aged 21 or over with a valid license for over three years, and an L plate stuck to my car.

My theory test is booked for 11 February, and ya'll, I better pass it. Then I can book and take my practical, and watch out! Lori'll be back on the road.

*Mad props (yeah, I just said that, because I'm so freaking chuffed) to Jenny for giving me a lift home from work today! Nothing like friends who go to University just down the street from you.



And in far more important news...

Congratulations to my brother Danny and his fiancee Kristen - they've set the date! Everyone in the whole wide world is getting married. Congratulate the person beside you because chances are, s/he is getting married, too.



(This is in no way meant to ostracise you if you are not getting married. I was just using hyperbole.)