Comments

Just discovered during the process of redesigning that my comments have all been wiped. My echo account was apparently only a three month trial (I had to switch because haloscan went bust) and after the free trial, I was meant to subscribe. I didn't subscribe (and don't plan to), so all my comments are gone.

Feeling a little sad about that.

The New Stylez

Hey, unless you read this blog in Braille, you can see I've updated its look.

I've also added an 'About Me' page at the top and updated the 100 Things I Said About Myself, as the previous 100 Things were not all necessarily still true (though I did come full circle with one which stated 'I am currently growing my hair out.' That was five+ years ago but true once again.). Many I left as is, but a few I altered.

Now, if you'll refer, class, to Article 4, you will see that I claimed to still know all the words to the Nutcase Kids Club Poem. I wanted to create a link to that poem for posterity, and this, dear children, is it.

Ahem.

The Official Nutcase Kids Club Poem.

All rise and place your right hand over your heart as we all recite together:

"Nutcases are we
As you can plainly see
With lots of giggling
About freshwater tea.
We laugh the most about
The silliest things
Like a caterpillar
With a hole in his jeans.
Green foxes, furry sharks
A six foot bug
And a banana that barks
So now comes a time the nutcases require
That this poem do retire."

At ease. You may now do silly little girl things like giggle at absolutely nothing at all, and shout things from the bathroom stall like, "Nobody here but us chickens!", which I distinctly remember one of us saying during one of the meetings, and of course, giggling uncontrollably.

Screw You, Ren, I'm Eating a Chocolate Bar and Getting Fatter As I Write This

When Scott and I got engaged, and we decided to live in Scotland rather than the US, we made one promise (well, we made a lot of promises, but for the purpose of this post, we made one) - that I would get back to Arkansas for my 10 year high school reunion.

We were young and in love.

Little did we realise we would have two children by that time and be living on one income. (Because, you see, we were young and in love and had agreed we'd have children after being married five years, because five years sounded like the right number, and there, of course, was no deviating from the future plans of your hero and heroine, thus making me adorably pregnant with my first and wearing European black and speaking with a Scottish lilt for my reunion.)

But alas, here we are, the year 2010, ten years after graduating from high school, and circumstances being as they are, I did not make it to my 10 year high school reunion.

Many people would breathe a deep sigh of relief at the thought of never seeing their old schoolmates ever again. Many people did not love high school as much as we did. If I may speak for my wonderful group of Forensics and Debate nerds, we all loved high school. We all loved each other. While we drifted apart the years that followed, I believe each of us still held a very special place for one another in our hearts. We had so many wonderful times together. We grew into ourselves together. We knew the best and worst in each other. Maybe time has tinted my memories rose-coloured, but I truly believe those four years together were some of the best years of our lives.

In a way, we were all young and in love.

But as all those wonderful people met together last weekend, no doubt quoting memorable lines from the many plays and performances we took part in, the many showtunes and pop songs we sang loudly and obnoxiously to, and the many still-funny inside jokes that wouldn't make any other normal person laugh 'til their sides ached, I was here.

And I felt rather lonely.

But I was not alone.

I have made new friends. No friends will be like the friends I used to have. Adult life doesn't cultivate the kind of friends you spend all night, all weekend, all your life with, experimenting with who you are and who you'd like to become. But I have made friends nonetheless. Friends who know the now-me, the mother-me, the wife-me, the grown-into-who-I-am-me. And I'm okay with that. The night of my reunion, I had three lovely women over, and we had a lovely time, and they are truly wonderful friends, who love Jesus and help me grow into a better Christian woman. And I have my 'mummy' friends, who challenge me to be a better mother and who accept me just as I am, that I can trust to show my truest self to and not be judged. And of course, I have my husband, who knew me when I was still practically a child and who loves all the parts of me, the funny, the hippie, the bitchy and the beautiful, and I have my children who are still young enough to think I can do no wrong.

But one hole remains - a tiny hole, and somewhat insignificant hole, but a hole nonetheless - the hole that my friends filled ten years ago. For with whom now can I share the interests my friends and I shared back then? Who out of all my friends now would quite happily spend a car ride singing along to RENT or practice a dance in the middle of the street or walk into a petrol station and pretend to be Audrey and Orin Scrivello, DDS, having an argument over Vitalis? Even Scott would rather drive nails into his arms than listen to showtunes in the car with me or help me read lines.

(Here's your mention, guys.)

Last night, I went down to the park to play rounders (baseball) with a few of the folks who are in Footloose. After rounders, those of us who remained went to the pub for a drink. We had a good laugh. I promised I'd write about our conversation on my blog, but really, the conversation was stupid and not worth writing about. (So Kieran thinks we're fat. Screw him.) But they are getting this mention (Kieran and Fifi) because they and others like them (Julie) remind me so much of those I grew up with. They're actors. They love musicals and the theatre. They have songs that have won Tony awards on their iPods.

We have sung RENT songs in the car together.

We have danced on the streets (no, literally. The looks Fifi and I got...)

We have not quite gotten to the Audrey and Orin stage yet, but I think I'd be okay if I never in life ever did that again. (It wouldn't be the same without PDub anyway.)

I'm not saying they are the new Zacs, Patricks, Amandas and Devons, but they make me smile.

So, yes, I missed my high school reunion. Yes, I cried when I saw the pictures afterwards, to see how grown up they've all become and yet how exactly the same they all still are. But life has gone on for all of us, and I know really we are all in the same boat, living our own current lives so vastly different and far from the lives we shared as kids. We all have our new friends, our adult friends, who know the adult-us, the parent-us, the who-we-are-now-us, and actually that's just life and it's just the way it is. No one can go back really. A reunion doesn't change the fact that being 28 is a hell of a lot different from being 18. But is one better than the other? I'd venture to say... my life now is immeasurably more satisfying, wholesome and fulfilling than it was even capable of being then.

And I love everyone who is a part of it.

Frobscottle and Whizzpoppers

We've been reading The BFG to Fifi. I've never read it before - Roald Dahl I don't think is as big in the US as he is in the UK - so it's all new to me and just as exciting to me as it would've been to all children upon their first reading. I've had to skip over some parts; Fifi gets frightened when the giants come out, and I've had to downplay the parts where they reach into children's rooms and eat them... you know, because that's only slightly traumatising to a three year old child. But so far, Fifi's been fine with my abridged version, and she talks about it constantly.

Well, we recently read the chapter about frobscottle, the tasty drink the Big Friendly Giant drinks, with the bubbles that go down. Upon reading it, I just knew I'd have to make it!

I had my own ideas; I would buy some Irish cream soda syrup, mix it with sparkling water and add some raspberry flavour and green food colouring. But I figured the Internetz would probably have already devised a perfect recipe, so I hit Google.

Of the many frobscottle recipes (including the official Roald Dahl's book of revolting recipes version), the best one I found was this one: laughinglaceandlegos.blogspot.com. It looked the easiest to make and the tastiest. So this morning we made it.



Recipe
1 cup of milk
1 1/2 cups of Sprite
1 T. Raspberry sauce
1 tsp. Vanilla
Green food colouring

Put everything in the blender and add ice.

The girls loved it! I thought it was alright too. I didn't make it exactly, as I didn't have any ice in the freezer to put it in the blender, so it was a bit separated at the top, but it was actually still pretty good.



Afterwards I pretended to do a whizzpopper, but Fifi didn't buy it. She said, 'That was just you. That wasn't a real one!'

She's still waiting for her whizzpopper to blast her into the air.

Apples Galore

I just cored, quartered and peeled 4 pounds of apples to make apple butter, disposed of the cores and peels, only to THEN realise the recipe said to quarter the apples WITHOUT coring and peeling, as the flavour and pectin is in the cores and peels.

So. Annoyed.

Looks like I'll be making a few pies instead.

Gone Campin'

For about two straight weeks, my house was immaculate. You'd be afraid to touch anything, it was so clean. Floors hoovered, cushions positioned neatly on the sofas...

It's not like that now.

And all day long, I think, "I'll get to it tonight when the kids are in bed." Then the kids go to bed, and all I want to do is drink tea and click on my laptop.

Tonight, I did well. I folded some clothes. Might put some toys away before bed, too. Might.

Anyway, I'm on here, wasting time, to tell you about My New Tent!

First things first, I've always loved camping. You don't go on TMI three times if you hate camping. It's one of those pasttimes that come with so many glorious memories that even if the pasttime itself isn't all that fun, just the memories of times-past make it worth listing as one of your all time favourite hobbies.

Allow me to take a stroll down memory lane a moment to my favourite camping trip ever...

The Scene:
Spring, circa 2003
Fayetteville, Arkansas

I was in our old Christian Fellowship church building, the warehouse above The Flying Burrito, late in the evening with my then ex-boyfriend Andrew Rudd, and we were walking around on the roof (why?). Maybe Chris Barnes was there, or maybe we called him later. But somehow, we got the idea that camping would be fun. Somehow, we met up with Wes Howerton too, and the four of us headed off in the car then and there, tent and sleeping bags in the trunk, in search of a place to camp.

Now might I add here that unlike in Scotland where one has the right to camp anywhere they fancy, in Arkansas it is illegal to just pitch a tent on any piece of land that looks attractive. Land belongs to individuals, and there are trespassing laws. Thus making this excursion all the more exciting.

We finally passed by a big open field off the side of the road which had a muddy drive leading down to the field. Our place was chosen! We drove down the muddy road (and if memory serves me, we got stuck and had to push? I know not one of those guys will be reading this, so I don't think I'm going to get any confirmation on the accuracy of my memories.) We waded out in the thick mud and found a nice little spot out of view of the road and pitched our tent. I think we probably had a campfire and probably roasted something worth eating, but I don't remember much. I just remember the spooning.

Yes, the spooning.

I started out spooning with Wes. Now Wes was a fairly big fellow, and let me tell you, a great spooner. Let me also tell you, I did not have any feelings for these guys (well, we'll not get into the complicated situation that was Andrew, but for the sake of the story, I had no feelings for anyone). We just liked spooning. Well, Wes and I convinced Chris that spooning was the best way to keep warm, so Chris joined in. Well then Andrew couldn't be left out, could he? So he spooned with Chris. Wes, me, Chris, Andrew, lined up in a row, like spoons in a kitchen drawer. It was the most comfortable four-person-spoon in the history of the world.

(Another word worth mentioning. None of the above men are homosexuals. Just great guys up for a laugh. And what's more fun than spooning?)

Funny that the only thing I remember about the actual camping part was the spooning.

Oh, and the pure horror that seized us all when we were woken at the crack of dawn by the sounds of many men walking up to the tent in their fishing waders and coveralls. Luckily then only looked at our camping site with half-hearted interest and did not call the cops. Regardless, we took that as a sign, tore down the tent in record time and fled the scene of our crime.

I think this story is why I love camping.


****

So, to bring us to the present, I never thought I'd be able to convince Scott that we should go camping together as a family. So imagine my surprise and delight when he was very easily convinced! This month has been the first month since the start of my business (two years down the line) that I've made a profit, so I decided to celebrate the occasion with my very first self-employed wage payment and purchased a tent. I ordered a 4-man tent from Millets, which comes with 2 sleeping bags, 1 double sleeping bag, an air mattress and 2 camping mats.

I. Am. So. Excited.

As soon as it arrives, I'm arranging a campout. And while a four-person-spoon involving two married people and two tiny children won't make quite as good a story as the last one, I think it'll be just as memorable.

I love camping.

Grimlins or Fairies?

I think someone's messing with me.

Two days ago, I found one of my kokeshi dolls - which are up high and behind a glass door - turned completely backwards. Couldn't have been one of the kids, but it sure wasn't me.

And now, I'm looking at my two kids' footprints which are in photo frames on my mantel, and Fifi's is upside down. Now, there is no way I've had her footprint in a frame upside down for a full year and a half without noticing it, but surely one wouldn't take it so far as to turn a picture upside down inside the frame... would they?

Either someone's being 'funny', or I've got Grimlins. Or bad fairies.

Sewing On the Horizon

So, I know you are all, like, soooo desparate to know about my upcoming sewing projects, so rather than prolong your misery any longer, I'm totally gonna tell you ALL ABOUT IT.

I can just imagine your excitement. Please, please, sit back down and put the champagne away. You can open it after.

So, I went to the fabric shop today and bought fabric for two projects. First, I bought some fabric to make my sister-in-law, Katie, an apron for her birthday. It is turquoise with brown polka-dots, with a contrasting fabric of brown with turquoise polka-dots. She said she's been wanting a new apron, but as for having it done by her birthday, well... we'll see.



I also bought some sweet pink cherry fabric for the curtains in the girls' room. The curtains they have hanging are from the old house, where we had normal ceilings. But here in our new house we have the big, high ceilings, so the curtains only hang halfway down the window. I'd been looking for some new curtains, when I saw in a magazine a brilliant (and kinda 'duh') idea; cut the bottom foot off the curtains, and sew in a panel of contrasting fabric between the two original panels to elongate your curtains! Of course! So, I'm going to cut the bottom of the pink curtains off, and sew in about a metre of the cherry fabric between the top and bottom of the pink. It's gonna be so cute!



So there you have it. I bet you are just so, so glad I told you all that. I knew you would be. Okay, you can open up that bottle now and celebrate the awesomeness of my sewing update.

Blog Topics for Middle School

I've been on a fairly good roll lately of blogging, and in an effort to keep that up, I just opened Blogger, placed my fingers upon the keys and thought. What could I write about? I mentally scanned the day to see if I recalled anything I did that would be worth blogging about. The thoughts that ran through my mind including Fifi's chicken pox, washing the car with Grampa, Footloose dance rehearsal, my windowsill garden, tidying the house...

Ew, dull, too sore to dwell on, not bothered, boring.

So I did what all great writers do with writer's block; I hit Google. With my handy browser search tool, I typed in 'blog topics for -' and before I get any further, a whole list appeared of suggestions. Students, women, kids, moms, business, myspace, wpmu (?). And Middle School. Interested, I chose that option and visited the first link listed. The article, about helping Middle School students improve their journalistic skills, listed a few topics one might want to impose upon a class of pre-teens. Inspired, I chose:

Which super power do you wish you had? How would you use it to do good?
by Lori McFarlane

If I had the choice of granting myself one super power, it would have to be teleportation. Gone would be the days of having to sit in traffic, or rush through amber lights in order to get to places on time, or dress the kids in mismatched clothes just to get them out the door so we aren't late everywhere we go. We'd just teleport, and we'd make it everywhere on time, with no wait.

Sadly, like all super powers, this would never really be as useful as one might think. No, instead, we'd probably wait until the last minute and still have to throw on pajama pants in order to get Fifi to nursery. We'd still be running around like mad looking for shoes, uniforms, special toys and house keys up until the last minute. But at least I'd never have to sit in traffic.

And I could give up driving, unless my ability to teleport extended no further than just myself. Oh dear, if I couldn't teleport the kids along with me, what would be the point? I'd still have to drive to get them anywhere! Well, at least I could pop downstairs to take the bin out, while only leaving them alone for the least amount of time possible. Though they'd still probably manage to paint the kitchen with marmalade in even that short amount of time.

I'm beginning to rethink this teleportation thing. How would I use it for good? Well, I suppose if Scott left his sandwiches at home, I could teleport to his work quickly and drop them off at his desk. If our damned estate agents claimed again that their letting manager was 'out of the office', I could teleport into the office to see if they're just lying to avoid me. If I got all the way home from the grocery store just to realise I forgot Scott's beer, I could pop back in quickly without him even noticing. See, there is lots of good a super power like teleportation could do.

But then... there's a lot of bad. I could spy on spouses who are suspected of cheating. I could nip out in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping and steal a package of chocolate chip cookie dough from Tesco and eat it in seclusion. I could appear and reappear in different rooms at parties and freak people out. Though, all of those could be classified as good, depending on which way you look at it.

Wow, this super power business carries with it a lot of moral responsibilities. I've changed my mind. My new super power would be the ability to move things with my mind. Yes, perpetually tidy house, here I come.

The Supermarket Game

First I'm going to point out that it's 11.15pm, and Lolly is STILL awake. She's decided she's had enough sleeping for one lifetime.

Grrr.

Second, I'm very excited and want to talk about it!

"What?!" I hear you thinking. "I wonder what news she has! Is she pregnant? Did she win the lottery? Did she get a part in that musical?"

No, no, and, well, yes actually.

But that's not what I'm so excited about.

I'm excited, because I budgeted £35 in The Supermarket Game, and only spent £21! AND I got everything on my list!

(Except the chocolate chip cookie dough. They must only sell that at the Greenock Tesco. I was rather gutted, considering I'd put it on the shopping list and budgeted for it and everything, but in the end, I suppose I didn't exactly NEED it...)

And now, I can hear you thinking "Supermarket Game? Is she just randomly capitalising words like she's Emily Dickinson, or is this actually a game? And is it a real game, can I Google it, or did she just make it up?"

I made it up. But it's got real rules and everything. And it's awesome. It's transformed my grocery shopping habits FOR REAL.

You see, some of you, if you are loyal Scott and Lori blog readers, or stalkers, or both, you'll know that I have a problem with shopping. Grocery shopping. I have a real problem sticking to a list. So then I overspend, and then I feel guilty, and then I have to borrow from next week's budget, etc etc etc. Well all that has changed with The Supermarket Game.

(In case this comes back to bite/sue me, I do not have a trademark for this name and could very easily be stealing it from someone who does own the trademark. Sorry if the latter is the case.)

Here's how it works.

The Supermarket Game (by Lori)
Pre-Game Preparation:
*Make a breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack menu for one full week.
*Break that menu down into a list of things to buy.
*Do not forget to add non-food items such as toilet roll and shampoo that you ordinarily buy with your shopping.

Game Step 1:
*Break the list down into the different shops you will get each item in.
*Within each shop, next to each item, predict the price. You can get as detailed as you like, though I'm mathematically challenged and prefer to round up or down to the nearest 50p.
*Tally up each shop's price list, and this is your budget for that shop.
*Beside that number, tally up the number of items. This is for the bonus round.

Game Step 2 (Budget Round):
*Give yourself 1 point for each item that is priced below your prediction or exactly your prediction. You could give yourself 2 points for exact predictions.
*Give yourself no points for prices above your prediction.
*Deduct 1 point for any extra items you pick up while in the shop.
*Neither give nor deduct any points for items not on the list but genuinely needed.
*At the end, if your receipt price is under your budget or exacly your budget, you WIN the Budget Round. But if it goes over your budget, you LOSE the Budget Round. BUT...
*Tally up your points you accumulated from your predictions. If the number of points is close to your number of items counted for the Bonus Round, you can give yourself an A, B, C, D or F by calculating your score like in school (for example, if you get 20 out of 30, you'd get a 66%, which is a D). So you may not WIN, but you could still get an A or a B.

Bonus Round:
*This is the hardest one to win. Go back to your number of items and if you only bought that number of items or less, you win the Bonus round! Even if your budget went over and you lost the Budget round, you could still win the Bonus round!


And that's it, folks. That's The Supermarket Game. And it's crazy, but I have never felt so in control of my grocery shopping before in my life.

And now maybe you'll understand why I'm so happy. Because for the first time ever, I've not only won the Budget round, I won the Bonus round!

I wish I had some raw chocolate chip cookie dough to celebrate with.