Saturday, July 28, 2007

When Living On Different Continents Is the Hardest

My aunt gave me into trouble via email for not updating in weeks so hello, here I am.

It's Saturday morning. Scott's at work. Fifi is napping. The house is quiet and the laundry is folded. Maybe the house is too quiet. It's the kind of morning that makes me wish I could hang out with my mom. If I could, I'd go see what my mom is up to and accompany her on her Saturday morning errands, like grocery shopping or weighing in at Weight-Watchers. I'd try to talk her into Mean Pig for lunch. Maybe we'd read books in her reclining chairs in the afternoon. I don't know. I miss her.

Fifi is growing up so much so fast. I wish my parents got to see that. I hurt for them sometimes, wondering how it must feel to have their only grandchild so far away, learning to crawl, learning to sit up, developing a personality. I want Fifi to know her American grandparents. They are so cool, she's so lucky to have such cool grandparents.

She's lucky too that her Scottish grandparents are so great. I'm really glad she gets to know at least one set. They adore her, they dote on her, they will be a big part of her life. I'm so thankful for that. It still doesn't make up for missing the other set though. Right now I really feel for those who have lost a parent, who know even more than I do that sadness of their children missing out on knowing what wonderful grandparents they would've had. At least Fifi will be able to get to know her American grandparents to some extent. I'm so glad about that.

Fifi will be six months old this week. I hardly know where that six months went. She still seems so new to me, and at the same time, so old, as if she's always been there. Scott and I were marveling last night at the idea that if I had broken up with him that one time when we were dating when I almost broke up with him, Fifi would not exist. What a crazy thought. It's too bizarre to imagine.

On that note, and an abrupt one it is, I know, Fifi has just awoken from her slumber. She's still in that half-asleep daze (gets it from her father's side), but I like it when she looks around her with that scowl on her face, trying to decide if it's worth actually getting up to play, so I'm going to try to tip the scales in that direction with lots of mummy cuddles.

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