Friday, October 08, 2004

Wife Lessons with Lori

I admit we've been bad posters. We apologize for the lack of new reading material, but I promise you, once we get broadband set up at the house, we will be back to usual, posting far too much for anyone to be interested in reading.

Also you can expect a new look soon, as "Pre-Marital Blogging" has turned over a new leaf, and I don't have a job.

Last time we spoke, I was feeling depressed. This has subsided immensely. I've felt much better in the past couple days than I was at first. Though I had a sore throat and now have no voice. That part's still pretty rotten. I met one of my new neighbours today, and I sounded like a goat. She's gonna think all Arkansans sound like goats.

I'm starting a new series: Wife Lessons with Lori. In this series, I will list small things that I have learned as a new wife--stuff I didn't expect and I don't imagine many pre-lyweds expect, especially the wifey-to-be types. These won't necessarily be amazingly profound, but hopefully helpful to any pre-lyweds out there.

Wife Lesson #1:
Whether you thought you were a baby before or not, once you're a wife, you can't be a baby anymore. Sure you can use your feminine power to coerce your husband to get out of bed in the mornings to go turn the heat on for you, but don't expect him to put up with your distaste for peeling off the skin of chicken thighs. I think maybe it's called Wife Power, but suddenly you must embrace all those things that you hated doing before (laundry, cooking, cleaning, whatever it may be). It's time to get over it. I knew all this in my head before marriage, but now I'm learning by experience that either the skin comes off or you eat it. And with WeightWatchers, the skin adds, like, 2 POINTS per thigh.

Wife Lesson #2:
Your money is no longer your own. Nor is his his. And worse, your credit is no longer yours but his. And even worse, his is yours. So what does this mean? It means gone are the days of frivolous buying or depression-shopping. If you're feeling loney and bored and all your clothes make you look like a wrinkly rolly hippopotamus, you would be unwise to take it out on a new coat or new shoes. Because imagine how annoyed you'd be if he came home with a new video game he hadn't asked your permission for. (For the record, this has not happened to us. I've just realized what could happen if it did.)

More Wife Lessons to come. I thought of several the other evening while I was juggling washing the dishes, boiling the chicken, and vacuuming the living room, but my mind is full, and probably the most important Wife Lessons I've learned have gotten lost somewhere in there.

Feel free to leave your own Wife Lessons in the comments. Let us all help one another!

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