Thursday, November 17, 2011

Oh Christmas Tree! - Part 2

My, how different this Christmas will be.

This year I'll be spending part of Christmas with my mom and new step-dad and step-brother and step-sister, and the other part of Christmas with my dad and new step-mom (but not my three step-sisters and one step-brother). I will also be spending it with one brother and his wife, but not the other brother. I will hopefully be going to visit my brother-and-sister-in-law and two nieces as well. What a change it will be.

I have never met my step-mom and have only ever met my step-dad in a context outside step-family. I have never seen my mom or dad with different people. In fact, I've never seen them apart. Both have come to visit separately since their divorce, but I've never been in my childhood home without both parents there. I've never had to do the divorced thing, time with one parent equals time with the other. I hope both parents recognise that upon visiting their homes that very first time, and meeting their new spouses that first time, they are going to need to let me retreat quietly to another room for a moment to shed some serious tears. What a weird, surreal experience this all will be.

I am looking forward to my trip, and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, and seeing my house, and having Christmas with my actual, biological family. But I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with so much change at once. I can't wait to meet my brother's new baby, and I look forward to seeing my Texan nieces and family, and there's even a tiny chance I might get to meet my new Georgian step-siblings. And I'm looking forward to meeting my new step-mom and step-dad and all those step-siblings and step-nieces and nephews that are attached to them. But I'm just not looking forward to seeing my little family all broken up and patched up so differently from how I've always known it and how I always believed it would be.

So much innocence gets lost when you grow up.

Growing up really, truly sucks. Having your foundation cracked and crumbled right from underneath you really sucks.

But I suppose that's when all these wise people say you really become stronger. I don't know anything about construction, but I suppose having to rebuild your foundation and building it according to your own specifications and needs probably indeed gives you something firmer to stand on for the future.

Ha. Tricked you with that happy and joyful Christmas music crap didn't I! I kinda tricked myself too... I didn't sit down to write anything sad and depressing, I genuinely started out just wanting to beg Scott to let me put up the tree now! So that's why I've split this post into two parts. Enjoy one, and then don't enjoy the other very much.

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