Going back through my archives, I've written about Thanksgiving every year except last year since 2003, when I started my blog.
I have nothing to write about this year, because it is the first time in my entire life I will not have celebrated it.
This makes me want to cry.
I have all the stuff in to make the dinner, but no time to do it. I considered just making it tomorrow as a normal dinner but didn't take the turkey out in time to defrost, so I guess it'll be a vegetarian version. And we'll have turkey on Saturday, with leftovers before I dart off to work.
It's been a sad day for me. Not just Thanksgiving-wise, but a few other things too. Nothing I want to discuss too much on here at the moment, as it's still quite sad for me to get so personal online about. The gist is we've decided a few things about our family's future, which includes sending the children to private school like we've always intended... but to do so involves going back to work full-time and putting Lolly in with a childminder. It would break my heart more if it weren't for the fact that my wonderful Maria is going to be Lolly's childminder, and Maria, as far as I'm concerned, is practically family. It also means (here's where the waterworks keep trying to play up) no more children for us. And I'll say nothing more on the subject because there go the stingy eyes. We've got to do the best we can for the children we already have, and private school for three kids is just... well, it's a recession.
(But I held a baby at Mothers & Toddlers this morning, and seriously could barely keep from sobbing. That mixed in with the homesickness and Thanksgiving. I could just cry now.)
(Yet I've made it all day without crying, so I intend to persevere.)
As for Thanksgiving, since I've nothing to say on this fourth Thursday of November 2010, I'll leave you with links to all the previous posts on Thanksgivings. (My favourite is 2003.)
Oh, Lori. :( Those are hard conversations to have.ReplyDelete