My Love/Hate Relationship With Snow

Snow day!

Y'all, I LOVE the snow. I love the perfect, untrodden fleece of soft white comforting the ground and the rooftops, the scarves wrapped loosely around tree limbs. I love the serenity of no traffic passing by, no people rushing about, everything halted in time. I love the silence and peace hanging chilly in the air. I love the 6am phone call from the school district announcing the schools are closed and the text from work promising a free day off. I love the excitement of children waking up and seeing the snow outside their frosty windows, the squeals of pure, innocent delight, childhood memories in the making.

 

But y'all, I HATE the snow.

I hate the cold, wet bite of it. I hate the burning sting of it on my skin. I hate the cold, wet cuffs of trousers and sopping, refrozen gloves. I hate to see the untouched bright blanket blinking in the sun destroyed by boot trails and snowballs. Y'all, I'll admit it, I hate snowmen.

But how do I explain that I still love the snow, nonetheless? I love to watch my kids revel in the joy of snowplay, I love to watch my husband turn into a big kid when the snow falls. I love to observe the snow; I just hate to engage with it.

I am the World's Okayest Mom. While I loathe rolling large balls of snow into sad-looking "men" and throwing and/or being hit by snowballs, I do love making hot chocolate and building log fires and watching movies with my family, all the indoor joys of snow. I'll leave the outdoor frozen activities to the big kid I'm married to.

Ways In Which Arkansas Wants To KILL You

With a severe weather warning season firmly upon us and after shooing a red wasp out of my car yesterday AND a suspiciously bulbous black spider with a violin on its back (red or white, which one is in under contract with Satan?), I decided it's time to make a list of some of the reasons I need to leave Arkansas.

Because Arkansas wants to KILL you.

1. Black Widows. It's like, it's not enough to just be a spider; it has to be an ugly, deadly one.
2. Brown Recluses. One that will destroy your flesh. Then kill you.
3. Red Wasps. So they may not kill you, but they will build their nests on your front porch and then attack you and sting the crap out of you. If they could talk, they'd have little collective demon voices.
4. Scorpions. So far, haven't seen one. But they are out there, and they are mean little bastards.
5. Ticks. Lyme Disease. Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. And they will leave their heads inside your flesh if you aren't careful. WTF?
6. Rattlesnakes. Deadly AND have that creepy Western movie prelude playing in the background. Cue tumbleweed. Then death.
7. Copperheads. Seriously, these guys THRIVE in my neighborhood. Domesticity doesn't phase them one bit.
8. Baby copperheads. These little buggers are even meaner than their mamas.  Like little Children of the Corn, but snakes.
9. High heat indexes. If all of the above doesn't kill you first, the 110°F in the middle of July and August ought to finish you off.  And if even that can't take you down...
10. Tornadoes. No, seriously. Not being funny. I am terrified.

I'm actually not sure how I survived my first twenty-two years of my life living in this state and now the last almost two. Living in Arkansas is like playing a never-ending game of Russian roulette, and surely my luck is going to run out soon.

Lightning Storm

Last night Scott and I stood outside for thirty minutes watching an incredible lightning storm about 25 miles away. It was so far we couldn't hear any thunder (but oh how thunderous it must've been where the storm actually was!), but the constant lightning was fascinating to watch. We even pulled the kids out of bed to come watch. It looked like the gods were warring. Or as Fifi put it, bombs going off.

I filmed a couple of minutes of it. My camera naturally couldn't capture the awesomeness of it, but I'll post the video anyway. Since there was no sound - just dogs barking and Scott and I Whoa!-ing, I've put the video to music. The song is called Tetrishead by Zoe Keating.

Cabin Fever

I have some serious cabin fever going on right now. Except for two very short excursions, I've been stuck in my house since Sunday. It's Thursday. I feel like I'm under house arrest.

Sunday morning, Scott's mum and dad took the kids to breakfast and then to church while Scott and I slept in late and had a quiet morning together. That afternoon, my dad, stepmom, brother and an aunt and uncle from Pennsylvania (here for my big brother's wedding the day before) all came over. Sunday evening is when 'thundersleet' hit Arkansas. It was the second* most amazing storm I've ever seen. Sleet, freezing rain, thunder, lightning, all at once. It was incredible.

(*Second to the time we came home from Scotland for a visit and witnessed fork lightning touching ground so close we could see where it hit, and the flashes were so bright, the street lighting kept turning off, thinking it was daylight!)

Thundersleet

Not surprisingly, given the six inches of ice topped with an inch of snow the next morning, school and Scott's workplace were both closed on Monday. It was actually a little blessing, since that was Mum and Dad's last day here in the States. The roads were a sheet of ice, so I stayed in all day with the kids. Scott's parents ventured out in the afternoon to get some last minute things taken care of, then we had t-bone steaks for dinner (mmmm) and put the kids to bed. We drank whisky. It was a good day to be 'stuck in'.

But come Tuesday morning, it was time to say goodbye. School was cancelled again, and Scott's office didn't open until noon, so Scott took his parents to the airport, while the kids and I said our goodbyes here at home. It was a sad goodbye as always. The children cried; I had to control my own tears to cope with theirs. The house felt very empty without them. Even though we didn't see much of them the last couple of weeks (they didn't even stay with us for the last two weeks!), it was still nice knowing they were somewhere nearby. I even ran into them a few times at the gym and Walmart, which made it feel like we actually lived close to each other again. Knowing they were officially going back home though made them feel very far away again.

So I kept myself busy. The house was a tip after so many guests - we'd had our Seattle friends Jonathan and Sarah and their daughters staying with us the week before - so I cleaned Jaguar's room (had been the 'guest' room), the girls' room (what a disaster!), the hall closet (just because), the kitchen and the living room. The kids bustled about, inside and outside, sometimes playing, sometimes fighting, and I really hoped they'd be back at school on Wednesday. Despite how bad the roads were, I'd have liked to have ventured out a little, but unfortunately Scott had driven to work with Jaguar's car seat still in his car.

Tuesday night, I managed to sneak out for a couple of hours to buy groceries. Saturday would've been grocery day, but we were at my brother's wedding in Hot Springs. Then the weather killed the next three days' shopping opportunities. We were eating weird stuff from the back of the cupboards by Tuesday night.

Speaking of eating, we noticed lots of birds pecking around the ice, trying to find some food. So we scattered birdseed all over the back porch for the hungry birds. We were very popular on Tuesday with the feathered community. And I got some lovely shots.

"Hey, guys, over here!"

Lord Cardinal

Lady Cardinal

Wednesday morning, school was back in session and the roads were more or less clear. Fifi got all dressed up for Dr Seuss day... and then threw up. Sigh. I called the school. Fifi would not be in today. And we would not be going anywhere as planned. No gym for me, KidFifit for Lolly or library Dr Seuss party for any of us. I stayed in all day yesterday. I had errands to run, but even if Fifi could have been trusted in the car for half an hour without the threat of vomit, I had to wait home for two deliveries, which of course, didn't arrive until 4pm. (But they were worth waiting for - my new laptop and my Pampered Chef order!) My head hurt. Lolly refused to listen to a word I said. Fifi was puky and pathetic and feeling sorry for herself. I watched far too much H20 on Netflix with the kids. It was my first day back on keto too, which made me even more irritable. I wanted to cry all day. The highlight of yesterday was dinner. In honor of Dr Seuss week at Fifi's school (which due to ice and illness, she has missed all of), we had Green Eggs and Ham for dinner. 

I would like them with a fox. I'd even like them in a box.

Exhausted, though I had things I wanted to do, I went to bed super early. I slept like a log. I felt awesome waking up this morning.

However, I still couldn't send Fifi to school, since policy is to be symptom-free for 24 hours (back in Scotland it was 48), so here we are again. In the house. I can't take Fifi anywhere because she might still be sick and/or contagious, so no gym for me again this morning. I still needed to run those errands, so we paid some bills and bought a few keto life-savers from Kroger (bacon, whipping cream, Truvia for low-carb cheesecakes) and came home. Now the girls are on 'their' computer (my old laptop), Jaguar is watching a little Charlie and Lola before his nap, and I'm fiddling with my new laptop. My fingers are crossed that Fifi will be symptom-free all day, so she can go to school tomorrow. Not only am I desperate to get to the gym and to have an easier day, but she's got a field trip tomorrow I'd hate for her to miss. Plus, I just need to get out of the confines of this house!! (Lolly, Jaguar, myself, please do not catch Fifi's bug.)

****

Aside from 'cabin fever', I've got a few more updates. Since I didn't blog (or write at all for that matter) much over the last six weeks, here are a few things I'd like to remember.

Number one, Jaguar got his first haircut. I cried. Well, I cried when I got in the car; I held it together in the salon. He had such gorgeous long blonde wispy hair, that flew out to the sides like helicopter blades when he shook his head no. But it was starting to get too long, and he was to be the ring bearer in my brother's wedding, so I took him to get his 'big boy haircut'. I have to admit, as much as it saddened me, he looks adorable (and big) with his new 'do.

Before

After

(My phone takes crappy pictures.)

He looked so grown up with his new haircut, his new dress shoes and his kilt in the wedding.

A suit, a kilt and a uniform walk into a bar...

Which segues perfectly into my brother's wedding.

Fifirst, I took it upon myself to make the flower girl dresses for the three flower girls. I opted for making the dresses instead of buying them to save money. Paying $100 for a child's dress seemed ridiculous, and multiply that by two children and it's outrageous. To make sure all three dresses were the same, I made my niece Ava's dress too.

It was slightly more work than I expected. They turned out beautifully, though, if I do say so myself!

Lolly

Fifi

Ava

Then, amidst the last minute rush to finish the dresses that I'd been taking my time on, my sister-in-law's bridesmaid broke her foot, and the couple asked me to step in last minute. Which meant finding a bridesmaid dress that matched last minute. Christie (my new SIL), her mother and I went shopping for a dress on the Tuesday before the Saturday wedding. In the dress shop, there were only about five long, navy dress choices, and none of the cash-and-carry dresses were even remotely in my size. Except one. ONE. It was really pretty on the hanger, but a size too small. With no other options, aside from finding another store, I tried it on. It fit perfectly. It matched perfectly. I LOVED it. So I bought it. Twenty minute bridesmaid dress shopping, from walk-in to carrying dress home, must be some kind of record. 

(If I'm being literal, it wasn't twenty minutes before I walked out the shop with it. I had it held to the next day, which was pay day.)

I didn't get really any full length photos of me in the dress at the wedding, but here's one taken when I got home.

The wedding was beautiful and sweet. I'm so happy my brother has married such a lovely girl, and I'm delighted to have Christie as my new sis-in-law!

A Few Random Wedding Photos

Groom and Bride (Photobombed by Lolly)

Ava, Matt and Charity

My bros

My main man

The Reception

The Groom's Cake (Star Trek in case you have no idea.)

For more wedding photos: Daniel & Christie's Wedding

Cold. Conspiracy. Cheesecakes.

Tonight the wind chill is supposed to dip as low as -10 degrees Fahrenheit. In my book, that's pretty darn cold!

I do remember it getting cold before when I lived here. I even remember trying to tell someone how cold Arkansas could get and not being believed. Through the Scottish years, I began to believe that nothing could be as cold as Scotland, except perhaps northeastern Europe or Siberia. But I was wrong. Rains and winds and low temperatures are the bain of Scottish existence, but I never thought about freezing pipes. Tonight, in Arkansas, it's gonna get chilly. It's clear global warming is just a conspiracy theory. (Just kidding.)

Speaking of conspiracy theories, though, I love them. And actually I believe a lot of them. Scott kind of wants to elbow me in the gut when I start talking about them, but seriously, why not? Do we really believe the government is that honest and open with the public? After all, everyone thought Watergate and the NSA were conspiracy theories but surprise! Nixon was a crook and the NSA is monitoring your World of Warcraft activity.

(They probably have wire taps installed all over our house, thanks to Tec over here.)

Anyway, I won't go into detail on which theories I adhere to, as my husband's opinion of me is still something I moderately value, but just thought I'd throw that in there.

On the weight loss front, Scott and I are now seven pounds lighter each. Today was the first day I looked at my semi-naked figure in the mirror and thought, 'Is that tummy a little flatter?!' Incidentally, I feel great too. I have more energy than I've had in a long time, I'm never hungry and my cravings are mild. The one complaint I have of this keto diet is that it is affecting my sleep. I used to be able to fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow, but these past few days I've tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable or sleep for long. I keep waking up all night long, and this morning, which should have been my lie-in morning, I woke up at 7.30 when Jaguar woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Scott says my body will adjust to this new energy. I hope he's right. Sleep is my favorite pastime.

In half an hour, we're heading over to my mom's for dinner. She's made chilli, which is off limits for us on our diet. However, we were saving our carbs all day for dinner anyway, as I had some spicy chicken nuggets we were planning on having, which are a little higher in carbohydrates than we would normally eat. I guess we'll just substitute yummy spicy breading for yummy jalapeños and beans. I've ordered us some Ketostix (though the off-brand, much cheaper), so we can verify if we are still in ketosis after moderately over-indulging now and then.

I'll leave you with this. Last night Scott made us some incredible low-carb cheesecakes in the microwave. Find the recipe here at Your Lighter Side. Each 1-cup serving was only 2.5 net carbs and 299 calories. All I have to say about these is DO IT.

On a Perfect Lazy Snow Day

Normally, snow days off school end up being really stressful for me... I don't know why. Maybe not having had the chance to mentally prepare for having all three kids at home all day stresses me out. (Wow, that makes me sound like an awful mother.) Also, I love looking at snow, but I hate going out into snow.

But yesterday was actually a really nice day. Scott and the kids and I were all cooped up in the house all day, but it was far more relaxing than I expected. Sure the kids had their moments, but they were minor, and for the majority of the day, they all got along great, and we all had fun.

They cut more paper snowflakes, watched some Christmas movies with popcorn (our Advent Activity for the day), played Chutes and Ladders (Snakes and Ladders for those of you across the pond), played on the iPad, and dressed up in winter clothes pretending to play in the snow.




...Before you say we are cruel for not letting them play in the actual snow, I must clarify. We didn't get actual snow. We got sleet. It looked like snow, but it was just ice. I know lots of families around here DID let their kids play in the sleet with sleds and all that, but may I remind you that at this present time, we still do not have extremely warm coats/snowsuits/boots or outdoor snow equipment like sleds. The kids have coats, but that's all they've needed up until now. I guess snow clothes are next on the list of things to re-accumulate.

Banoffe Pie had a nice relaxing day yesterday too. The kids woke up to find him soaking in a lovely marshmallow bath in the bathroom.


After he soaked for a few hours, he wrapped up in a towel and 'hung' out in the bathroom the rest of the day.


Like I said, it was a chilled out day for us all.

Days 18, 19, 20 and 21 (But Not 22 Even Though It's Day 22)

I've been all geared up lately for blogging, with topics, and clever little phrases already mentally penned...

But my days keep flying by me, and I keep running out of time.

So here is a drive-by ODP update while Jaguar naps and Lolly watches Charlie and Lola.  Maybe one of these nights won't be taken over by Pampered Chef or soccer or laundry.  Maybe.

How far behind am I?

Oh my.  Quite.

Here we go, quickly.


Day 18 was a bit of a cheat. I had a Pampered Chef show booked for the evening, so it was to be a day in the house, cleaning and getting prepared.  However, last minute arrangements were made to go to the park with our new friends Mandy and Co.  "Not wanting to get The Dress dirty," I wore joggy bottoms and a sporty jacket to the park instead of The Dress. Considering I'd slept in those joggy bottoms, I considered it really just an extension of still being in my pjs. 

For the Pampered Chef show that night, however, I wore The Dress with a long sleeved black top underneath, a fat red belt, my red Irregular Choice Flick Flacks, and black tights.  Around my neck, I wore a pendant my aunt gave me that belonged to my grandmother.


Day 19 - MY FAVOURITE DAY!  For the first time this month, it was cool enough to actually dress like ME!  I wore furry boots, grey tights, The Dress, a grey long-sleeved top over, and my green corduroy jacket.  For the first time this month (hell, since I moved back to Arkansas) I actually felt like I looked like the Lori I've grown to know and love for the last nine years.  I even wore Lolly's tattoo necklace, which made me feel even more 'me'.  I need to get another one since mine broke.  My neck feels naked without it.

(I used to wear one ALWAYS in college, lost it when I moved to Scotland, then finally got another one about a year before I moved back here.  I know they are out of style, but I loooove them.)



Ugh.  Then came Day 20.  It was still cool, so I wore the furry boots again with pink tights.  (Did I tell you I went tights shopping?)  I wore The Darned Dress with a black top over it, and tied the top up so it was around The Dress's waist.  I didn't love it, but it was okay.  I brought my gold velvet jacket to wear with it and a coordinating fancy handbag that I got at a garage sale, but it really didn't stay cool very long to wear the jacket.  I changed as soon as we got home from church into 'play clothes', because we wanted to carve pumpkins.  Which we did, and I'll blog those pictures soon.


Day 21.  The Dress is killing me.  I am so done with this. Jeans, The Darned Dumb Dreaded Dress, a blue sailor jacket.  I couldn't find the blue jacket later on last night when I went to my Pampered Chef team meeting, so wore the black sporty jacket instead.  Either way.  I'M SO DONE WITH THIS.

Today is Day 22.  The DDD Dress is in the washing machine, what a pity. I "accidentally" forgot to wash it last night when I came home, so unfortunately it has to be washed during the day. I will put it back on when it comes out of the dryer though.  I'll wear it to soccer practice tonight.  Because I can't fail this challenge.  Scott keeps telling me to just quit, but I can't. I WILL DEFEAT THIS DRESS.



Fifi is still going strong.  Though she said today, "It's hard wearing the same dress every day, especially when you get new clothes and want to wear them." Amen, sister. 

Day 18 I made her wear jeans and a t-shirt to the park too, so she wouldn't ruin her dress. I'm so glad I did, she stepped in mud puddles, fell off monkey bars and slid down muddy, wet slides. Her Dress is already starting to come apart at a few seams and darts; the park may have killed it.  I hope it holds out.  I wonder if she's considering Goodwill for her dress too....  But like a good ODPer, she put Her Dress on when she got home and just wore it As Is for the rest of the day.


Day 19, she wore Her Dress with black leggings, light up graffiti sneakers and a black and white star t-shirt.  She also wore a black hoodie - and my blue jacket - to keep warm on that lovely, cold day.  She didn't have a soccer game on Saturday, but she sure played hard on the sidelines at Lolly's game with the other soccer siblings!


No Day 20 for Fifi.  I'd "actually" forgotten to wash Her Dress (for real) and it was splattered with mud from playing at the soccer fields. I could not let her go to church with her dress in that state.  So she took a well-deserved day off, and looked adorable in a red corduroy dress with a long sleeved green shirt underneath and black tights.

Day 21, Her Dress is back on for school, paired with a cute white shirt with a lacy ruffly heart applique (which you can't see from the picture).  White tights, black shoes.  Why can't you see the rufflly heart?  Because I had to use my old camera which is now pretty much the kid's camera and the lense is all smudgy.  It takes white things and makes them glow.  Why did I have to use my old camera?  Because my Samsung Galaxy S3 died and went to mobile phone Hades.  Stupid phone.  Within a month of Scott's doing the exact same thing.  I had to go buy a new phone yesterday, much to my chagrin, since we have no other phone, and my phone is my life line - and business line.

Day 22.  She's wearing Her Dress today, and I have taken a photo with my new phone, but I haven't synced it up with Dropbox yet to get it uploaded.  Once I've done that (and gotten myself in my dress too), I'll post Day 22, along with some Pumpkin Carving photies!

ODP Weekend Days 12 & 13: Slummin' It.

It's the weekend. I had nowhere to be, so I didn't bother wasting precious ideas on The Stripes.

Yesterday, the kids were supposed to have soccer games, but as we left our house, some raindrops started falling. I checked the soccer website, and it had announced only four minutes prior that games were ON. So we pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the playing fields. Minutes later, it turned into a downpour. I pulled over and called the Team Mom Angie to see what was up. According to the coach, she said, games were on. In the downpour. With the lightening. I started griping to Marion about how there was no way I was taking my baby out in this and the kids can't play in this and this is dangerous with the lightening and so on and so forth. (Fifi in the back seat started chanting, 'Mummy's turning into an American!' because I refused to sit through a rainy soccer game, which she apparently deemed highly un-Scottish of me.) Then Angie called back to say the games had definitely been cancelled. We rejoiced and got Shipley's Donuts to take home instead.

I'd been wearing my Lil Red Bananas t-shirt (Lolly's team), but when the game got called, I went home and changed out of it. The game is rescheduled for Tuesday, so I figured it was best to save that particular ensemble for then. I changed into ultra-casual this:


Obviously, from this picture, you can tell, it stopped raining later. I didn't get a photo until we headed out for tea at 5pm. I'm simply wearing The Stripes with a gray short-sleeved hooded top and a black beaded necklace. I think I just threw on a pair of shoes, I didn't pay much attention.

Fifi, after changing out of her soccer uniform, decided she was tired of the Project. She asked if she could take Saturday and Sundays off. Most of the day she instead wore a Christmas jumper and a sparkly dress around her waist like a skirt. I told her she couldn't wear that out to dinner though, and reluctantly she changed back into Her Dress. I cheered her up by letting her borrow a necklace of mine (which she promptly snapped) and one of my hats. She added the pink stripy blazer and sparkly red heels.

Today was my mother-in-law's last day here (tear, sniff). We didn't have anything really planned, just spending a few more hours together relaxing. We did make a quick trip into Walmart this morning, and had McDonald's while we were at it, so I put on The Stripes. I layered it with a tan-colored tunic and brown beaded necklace and earrings and brown flats. Lolly took a photo of me when we got back. Jaguar photo-bombed it.


It is abundantly clear from this blurry photo that my legs have a long way to go before they match the tan on my arms. Ick.

Fifi got very excited suddenly about getting her picture made. To Walmart, she'd only worn simply Her Dress, but for the photo, she went wild with a red scarf, a pink hat (Lolly's) and giraffe ears (also Lolly's). Lolly was not impressed.


The rest of the day today, before Granny left, we played outside with kites and did some outside Halloween decorating. When Granny left for the airport with Scott, however, it was an utter meltdown. My poor girls wailed, my poor Mummy-in-law cried, I cried, Jaguar cried because everyone else was crying... it wasn't pretty. I changed into my pajamas right then (4pm) and made a batch of brownies, which I proceeded to eat straight out of the oven. Then I cleaned. Anything to keep from feeling sad about saying goodbye once again to my Other Mother.

Flying of the kites

Granny helping with the flying of the kites

Daddy helping with the flying of the kites

Blurry, but so Lolly

Jaguar, enthralled

Our scarecrows, guardians of the mailbox

Corpse Bride Ghost made by Fifi

Up close and spooky

Pumpkin Planter

My real Mother and David came over for dinner later on after Scott helped David move some furniture. It made me feel less lonely having my mommy around. The house felt too quiet without Marion. Mom helped me rearrange some furniture in the living room and my bedroom to accommodate for my new desk they got me, at which I am sitting right now in my new Pampered Chef 'office' space. We had steak and okra for dinner, played with my dog Gracie and put the kids to bed.

Now, it's time for me to get in bed too. Weekday mornings start awfully early around here; school starts at ten to eight!!

Oor dug