5 Reasons I'm Still Supermom

GLOSSARY

SAHM: Stay-At-Home-Mum

WAHM: Work-At-Home-Mum

WOHM: Work-Outside-Home-Mum

I remember the days in the not so distant past when I was the kind of mummy who wore my babies in slings, breastfed beyond two years, practiced baby-led-weaning, and swore by co-sleeping and never CIO (crying it out). I was the kind of mummy who sat around with her friends drinking tea and talking about the best way to gently discipline without spanking, why attachment parenting is the best way to go, how to prepare the best home remedies for minor ailments, and where we could find fluoride-free toothpaste. I was the kind of mummy who did crafts with her kids, read them books before bedtime, made gorgeous bento box lunches to send with them to school, and took them on playdates to the park with other SAHMs and their kids for some good old fashioned Vitamin D.

I liked being that mummy. I admire that mummy. She was pretty all right.

Now I'm the kind of mummy who forgets to send back signed forms to the school, who runs out of clean uniforms before Friday because she hasn't done the laundry, and who packs pre-packaged food in disposable, non-environmentally friendly bags for lunch.  The mummy who lets them watch too much TV so she can catch a break and shouts way too much when they get unruly.

It's so easy to compare the SAHM me to the WOHM me and see the latter as inferior.  I idealize the former and remember her as certainly far more serene than she actually was, while criticizing the latter. Here's the deal: I need to give the current me some credit. I need to stop comparing and cut myself some slack.

So instead of dwelling on all the things I'm not doing so much anymore, it's time I look at the bright side of the new WOHM me.  Here are five things I am doing right as a mother:

1. I'm modeling feminist empowerment.
This in fact is what I've been doing all along. As a SAHM, I showed my kids that a woman can do whatever she believes is right for her life. I modeled positive feminist values by choosing to stay home with my kids, while my husband supported us, because it was what I (we) believed in.  As a WAHM later down the line, I showed my kids that a woman can start her own business and be creative in finding ways to make money and support her family. I showed them that a woman can both take care of household jobs and run a business and be fulfilled in all these activities. Now, as a WOHM, I am demonstrating that a woman can have a career and be a mother, that women can be as successful as men, and that if a woman wants to work outside the home, she should do so. A woman can do whatever is right for her at whatever stage of her life she is in.  Whether she is a SAHM, WAHM or WOHM, she can be successful and fulfilled in all she does.

(As a side note, Scott has also been modeling feminist values to our children by supporting and agreeing with my work choices all along the way. He shows our son how to respect a woman's capabilities and personal autonomy, while also showing our daughters how a man can and should respect a woman's capabilities and personal autonomy. My husband is a seriously awesome feminist.)

2. I'm not afraid to say I'm sorry.
When the kids act mean or rude, I expect them to apologize. When I act mean or rude, I apologize too. Often times my fuse can be short, and I react no better than a child. When I blow things out of proportion or throw a hissy fit, I am not afraid to say I'm sorry to my kids. I'm not perfect, and if my kids haven't already discovered this, they will soon enough. Teaching them to apologize by example is a life skill I am able to teach on a regular basis! It is not a sign of weakness for a parent to apologize to a child when the parent is in the wrong; it's a demonstration of maturity and humility.

(Side note. Scott is awesome about apologizing to the kids too. We also say we are sorry to each other in front of the kids anytime we have a fight. Apologies aren't just for children.)

3. I talk to them openly about social issues and current events.
We listen to NPR in the car nearly everywhere we go (and when it's not NPR, it's really good music, which is also something we're doing right), and our kids ask us often about the news they hear. We talk openly about the current events and social issues that are discussed. Whether it's a white police officer who shot a black man for no reason, a gay couple being refused a marriage license, the presidential debates, Syrian migrants, or religious freedom, we talk openly about it. We ask the kids to think these things through themselves and encourage them to come up with their own solutions and opinions. We do our best to make our kids aware of the larger world around them and to see themselves as activists who can make the world a better place. Between our three kids, we have a future President of the United States, a schoolteacher, and a Power Ranger. How more activist could they get?

4. I laugh with them.
All these "I I I"s should really be "We We We"s. Scott is 100% all of these things too. As a family, we make a point of being silly as often as possible. We're a bunch of sarcastic so-and-sos who tease the crap out of each other and play silly pranks on each other and make jokes about everything. Sometimes things have to be taken seriously, but we make a point of being lighthearted whenever we can. Life is short and laughter is free.

5. I read.
They say one of the best things you can do for a child's academic success is have books in the home. We are rebuilding our home library after selling everything, and we make it a priority to give the kids plenty of access to books for themselves. Besides just having books in the home, we aim to actively cultivate a love of reading in our kids. We may not have the same perfect routine we used to have of reading books every night before bed, but reading is still a huge part of our family life. My youngest loves being read to, my middle is discovering how exciting it is to sound out the words and read for herself, and my oldest is never further than arm's reach away from a novel twice the size of her. And besides just encouraging them to enjoy reading, I often have my nose in a book too. Without even trying, I am demonstrating a love for reading. I carry one (sometimes two) books with me everywhere I go, and I simply love to read. Actively instilling this in them as well as modeling it in myself is a parenting win. I may not cook organic meals, but I will read the crap out of some books then pass them on to a kid.


READERS:
What is something YOU are doing right in your life? When the easiest thing to do is see all the things you're doing wrong, take a minute to jot down some of the things you are doing right, and share them here!

Plant a Tree For Earth Day

Today, we planted a tree in my mom's front yard.


We wanted to give them a Dogwood, but we couldn't find one, so we went with a Redbud.


We all did our part (except for Scott, who was still at work). But the kids did the majority of the digging.


Some of us even did our tree-planting in style. I'm talking skinny jeans and heels.


We would have loved to have planted a tree in our own yard, but alas, we rent, and we didn't want to worry with all the fuss of getting permission from the landlord to plant a tree.


At least now my mom and stepdad have a little memento of us, for when we eventually move on to "greener pastures".


Saying that, I'd love to make tree-planting our little family's Earth Day tradition. Give back to the earth a little of what we take so much of.


Teach the children a little about sustainability.


And get in touch a little more with nature.


Happy Earth Day!

The Most Depressing Film I've Ever Watched... But First, Pancakes

Yesterday we made pumpkin pancakes for brunch. They were pretty tasty, especially drenched in maple syrup. I used this recipe from Allrecipes.com. Everyone liked them, and Lolly even claimed they were the best pancakes ever. However, she says that about every pancake she's ever eaten, and I'm pretty sure Scott still holds the Pancake King title in this household.

I'm liking finding new ways to use pumpkin, but it's definitely meant eating a LOT more baked goods and carb-loaded foods than we are used to. We haven't been on a strict keto diet for a while, but we've developed primarily low-carb eating habits over the year. Between the Halloween candy and the Pumpkinpalooza, the good habits we have formed are quickly falling away. I'm still going to finish my pumpkin challenge, but I'm going to cut back on all the rest of the unhealthy food we've gotten back into eating. If a pumpkin recipe a day is the only carbs we eat, that ought to be all right.

Now, speaking of unhealthy foods, we watched Food Inc last night. It was horrendous. I'd been putting off watching it, because I knew it would upset me. I mean, I already knew our food was bad and our practices are inhumane, but I didn't really want it confirmed. I didn't want to actually face it or see it. It's easier to stay in denial.  We decided to watch it last night, though, and both Scott and I were utterly horrified. We have decided the entire human race is awful.  Agent Smith was absolutely right:

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague.

The way we treat animals, other human beings and the environment is atrocious. The clothes we wear, the food we eat, the cars we drive, the petrol we run those cars on, the housing materials we build our homes with - everything is made by exploiting fellow human beings, killing off and abusing animals and destroying the earth and its atmosphere. It was the most depressing film I've ever watched, and that's saying something.

We aren't rich and we live on a budget, but Scott and I decided last night we have to do something, even if it's just a little tiny thing that barely makes any difference. We're going to start with buying grass-fed, free-range chicken and eggs, and seriously cutting back on our corn product consumption for our kids. (Scott and I don't eat cereals and grains very often, but our kids still do.)  One of the farmers on the film commented that people balk at paying $3 for a dozen free-range eggs, while drinking a 75¢ can of Coke. It won't make even a dent in the global problem, but it will hopefully make a small difference somewhere, even if only to our little family.

If you haven't watched this movie, I suggest you put away all junk food and sit down to make yourself watch this. It's on Netflix, if you have Netflix. We have managed to get warning labels put on packs of cigarettes (going up against tobacco giants), and now we must do something about inhumane food practices.

(Yet even saying that is depressing, because I know we won't. The collective "we". Society. We'd all rather save a buck than think about the illegal workers who are hired and brought over by US companies on the agreement with the government that they can then arrest a certain number of those individuals if they turn a blind eye to what the companies are actually doing. We'd all rather save a buck than think about the farmers whose hands are tied into treating their animals inhumanely, because they will lose everything if they don't. A dollar saved is worth more to us than the men, women and children being oppressed behind that dollar. Unbelievably depressing.)

Over-Protective Parenting

You know what's kind of getting on my nerves? All this hype about how kids were so much happier and better off thirty years ago when they were allowed to run wild with no supervision and eat whatever they wanted and take bigger risks. That kids nowadays are over-sheltered, over-protected and molly-coddled.

Okay. Obviously we get the idea. Kids today spend too much time indoors, on computers and iPads and watching TV. Point taken. My kids are guilty of it too - or perhaps I should say we as parents are guilty of allowing it. But what annoys me is the rest.

Kids were better off when they were unsupervised? Allowed out all day to explore anywhere they wanted and only expected home at meal times or 'when the street lights came on'. Fifirst, I'm betting this is an exaggeration and a glorified version of the truth. But even if parents really did let their kids run off on their own all day, how is that good for kids?

Good for imagination and exploration and all yes. But what if - just what if - something happened to them while they were off in the woods or at a park somewhere and you were nowhere near to know about it? I know I'm overly irrational about kidnappers (I had a serious phobia about kidnappers and burglars when I was a child and have never really gotten over it), but what if someone took my child while I wasn't around? It maybe doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen. Kids also fall and injure themselves, get bitten by snakes (my new worry, now that I live in the South again), and get lost. Glorify the idea of letting your kids go wherever they want without you knowing where they are, but god forbid something happen to YOUR child and imagine the repercussions:

- You could have a missing, injured, or dead child.
- You have Social Services at your door for neglect, and possibly have your other children taken off you.
- You are a social pariah for having been so negligent as to let this happen to your child.
- You are vilified in the media.
- You can never forgive yourself.

I'm just really tired of all this 'You're over-protecting your kids/ giving your kids complexes/ destroying their sense of wonder/ making your kids fat from lack of play' hype. Maybe I'm just protecting them to the level that I, as the parent, am comfortable with? This level is different for all parents; this doesn't make us all over-protective.

By not letting my kids run all over the neighborhood unsupervised, I am not killing their confidence or squashing their imaginations. I'm keeping them within my scope of supervision and away from predators, snakes, and dangerous areas. By not letting my kids play with fire, saws, sharp-pointed objects - unsupervised - I'm keeping them from harming themselves or someone else. Imagine your kid injured someone else's kid because you let them play with a dangerous object? Can you imagine how those parents would react? By restricting what my kids eat, I'm hopefully teaching them some form of self-control and healthy eating habits. By restricting the amount of chemicals we use in our home, I'm hopefully doing a teeny tiny part in keeping their little developing bodies a teeny tiny bit less contaminated.

CONFESSION TIME. I'm not the best parent in the world. I know I have my own irrational (depending on who you talk to) rules, and yet I'm also not the most vigilant at all times either. I probably allow them a lot more freedom than I should in some areas, and not enough in others. I let my seven- and five-year olds play outside on the street - we live at the end of a cul-de-sac - while I'm inside. I don't watch them the whole time. They are allowed to go up to the end of the street on their own. If they want to play with neighbors further than that, they need to come ask. Sometimes I go outside to check on them, and I can't see them. I panic every time. Often they've just gone into a neighbor's house to play; they know they are supposed to ask first, but sometimes they don't. Sometimes they have left our street without asking. This may sound like over-protection to insist I know where my pre-school and first grade children are at all times, but is it? Isn't it just common sense? In a world where we are so aware of the dangers, wouldn't it be negligent to NOT know where they are?

Keep in mind that bad people have always been around, and kids have always been in danger of being snatched and harmed by them. It just wasn't as widely talked about or known thirty or forty years ago. A few years ago, when visiting my mom, I let five-year-old Fifi go outside and play by herself. Mom felt uncomfortable about her being on her own. I mentioned how she used to send us outside all day without watching us. Her response was 'things are different now'. Perhaps things aren't different, we just know more?

I'm also pretty lax about dangerous items and activities. I probably let the kids play with too many things that could hurt someone, and perhaps I'm just lucky that no one has been seriously injured yet. Scott freaked out when he saw Fifi carrying an axe a few weeks ago and I hadn't stopped her; I asked how that was different than him playing with a saw when he was half her age. He was probably right. A seven year old shouldn't carry an axe. But should a four year old play with a saw, even if he'd been taught how to use it? It's all about a parent's comfort zone. I let the kids climb trees and counter-tops, sometimes unsupervised (the older ones anyway, I'm much more vigilant with the almost two year old). At play parks, I let the toddler climb equipment that's probably too old for him without being as careful as I should, though I'm always watching. I don't always insist they wear helmets when riding their bikes, though I feel I really should. Accidents do happen, and I know if something happened and I, the parent, hadn't been careful enough to keep them safe, I'd have a hard time forgiving myself. The worse the accident, the harder it would be for others to forgive you too, and if the accident is really bad, you could have the entire town judging you. Maybe that's over-protection, maybe it's common sense.

Food. Cleaning supplies. Truthfully, I'm not the healthiest eater and neither are my children. We do not have a 100% chemical-free home. I do try to restrict my children's diets within reason, and we try to eat mostly healthy, but we don't always. I still use bleach at times and have recently started using normal shampoo on the kids instead of the expensive everything-but-beeswax-free stuff. I'm not perfect or rich. But am I being over-protective when I still choose to clean with vinegar instead of ammonia or choosing non-toxic options when possible and affordable? Or am I taking advantage of the knowledge and science we now have to try just a little to make my kids a little healthier and safer?

NPR did an interview with someone who wrote a book about play in this era versus play in the '70s. A man filmed a bunch of kids playing in the '70s out of interest and that footage has been compared to kids' play now. Apparently kids took more risks and really did play unsupervised. The author of the book who talked about her own childhood play was worried she maybe had romanticized the truth, but the footage backed her up. She and her peers really did 'play better' than kids do now.

All I heard from this interview was that a bunch of kids were being filmed by a stranger who was asking them questions about their lives and where their parents were, and no one noticed or cared. Parents were nowhere to be seen. Hands up if this would have made you uncomfortable?

There is some merit to the hype - SOME. Yes, kids should be allowed to climb trees, if they are physically able and it's safe to do so. Risk-taking and risk-management are good life skills to have. Kids fare well with a little autonomy and room to roam, within reason. Being able to play freely is good for teaching decision-making. It won't kill kids to eat something that isn't organic or to brush their teeth with an SLS-containing toothpaste, but it's reasonable to restrict unhealthy or toxic products. But can we stop acting as if we modern parents are dictators who are preparing our kids for therapy and career failure by limiting their unsafe activities? What is wrong with keeping our kids safe? Why does that make us 'over-protective'? And furthermore, stop acting as if kids playing on laptops or video games is going to turn their brains to mush. In our increasingly technological age, the kids who know how to use technology are going to fare just fine, if not better. Did you know playing video games is actually great for hand-eye coordination, math skills, reading and decision-making?

I just think the bottom line is to be the best parent you can be. Be comfortable with what you allow and don't allow. You, your children and your family are the only ones who have to answer for it. Unless something really horrible happens. Which, granted, is probably not going to happen. But if it did, I think you'd want to know you had done your best to avoid it.

50 Shades of Féria®

I'm kinda known for my changing hair colors. I started dying my hair when I was sixteen. I was in West Side Story in high school, and I didn't have much of a part, I was Riff's girlfriend Velma. But I used it as a chance to convince my mom to let me dye my hair red. Well, strawberry-blonde. My hair was darkish blonde back then. That was pretty much the last time I saw my natural color (besides a stint where I dyed my hair back to its natural color, according to the roots, but it didn't last long).

My hair has been red, burgundy, purple, black, black and blue, black and fuchsia, blonde, ash blonde, platinum blonde, platinum blonde and pink, brown, dark brown, orange... I think that about covers it. Last year, I managed to stick with shades of blonde for a whole year, by far the longest I'd stuck with one color family. This year, I've been various shades of red all year, except a two weeker when I tried to go purple and it went nearly black. I bleached it back out and went back to red almost immediately.

I'm done with red now, and after much consideration and very little listening to other opinions (including but not limited to Scott's), I've decided to go back to blonde, this time with the intention of trying to get back to roughly the color of my roots. At this point, my natural color is probably a light brown, dark blonde with saddening spurts of gray. I'm thinking blonde or dark blonde with highlights, something along those lines. For how long? Who knows. But for now, that's the idea.

So tonight I bleached my red hair blonde. Only, it didn't come out blonde. It came out an odd sort of orangey-pink. Interesting.


I've been doing this a long time; I'm no fool. I knew it was likely to go orange. I knew I'd likely need to give it another bleach in a day or so. (Hairdresser friends, you may cringe now.) That's how I got it so blonde last year.

Unfortunately, I'll have to look like an off-duty clown until then.

The fact that I dye my hair is kind of completely against everything else I believe in. I'm totally against all the chemicals in our everyday beauty products. If I could afford it I'd wear only natural make-up and salt deodorant, all natural shampoos and conditioners, fluoride- and SLS-free toothpaste, and I'd eat only free-range, non-GMO, organic, non-processed foods. (Okay, the non-processed part maybe isn't entirely true. There are too many delicious junk foods out there that I'd have a hard time giving up. I'd want to give them up though. That counts?) I use reusable silicone feminine hygiene products, I don't take artificial birth control, I rarely use pharmaceuticals... But... I dye my hair. All the time. The chemicals I massage into my scalp are horrifying.

Maybe my thinking is, if I avoid chemicals and toxins in everything else, I can get away with the toxins I'm polluting myself with in hair dye.

With that said, I am looking forward to being a blonde again. :) Welcome 2014!

A Brief History of Hair:



Raver days. Sometimes those pink streaks were blue.



Looking at this one, I wish I'd decided to go black again now...



Maybe I should grow it back out?



The closest I can reckon my natural color is. Ooh, maybe I'll just go back to this.



This is what I'm going for now.



At the start of 2013. The shade was called Mango.



A couple of weeks ago. Ooh, I really like that shade of red.

This topic of 'hair dye' brought to you by a long overdue November request from Joy. There is still a long list I'm working my way through because I promised I'd write about each one.

The Benefits of Having Little

Those of you who have been following my blog, or who know me in person, know what a challenge it was for our family to sell/give away everything we own to move back to the United States. From a three bedroom flat full to the brim in belongings, we whittled our earthly goods down to what fit into twelve suitcases (for a family of five) and a few boxes of keepsakes to be stored in my sister-and-brother-in-law's cellar. I don't know if that sounds as crazy as it was, but essentially it was something like this: each family member (except the baby) had one suitcase for clothes each, one suitcase was for kitchen supplies, two were for toys, one was for baby clothes, CDs and DVDs, one was for shoes (and that was AFTER getting rid of tons), two were for pictures, breakable items such as pottery and other meaningful items, and the last was basically miscellaneous bits and bobs we didn't want to lose. The boxes left in Scotland are full of photo albums and books and Christmas decorations that have sentimental value.

Now that we are in our new house, we have had so much support from family and friends in getting set back up. We have been given furniture, kitchenware and money, not to mention the loan of cars, to help us get started. But still, our belongings are pretty sparce.

We LOVE it.

If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. I'd do it even if we weren't moving. It was the most freeing experience I can imagine.

Friends of ours, Graeme and Emily, moved back to Canada after a few years in Scotland, and Emily really encouraged me. At first, the thought of losing everything was horrible. So many things felt so important to me, like the display units Scott's gran passed down to us, and paintings I had done, and... I can't even remember any more, but they all seemed irreplaceable. But Emily told me, 'It's all just stuff. You won't miss it.' I didn't believe her, right enough, but I adopted her attitude and tried looking at everything as just material goods.


Now, before I go further, there are two things I need to say. First, I am not about to talk about how great it is to lose EVERYTHING. We were not in a fire, we were not robbed. We chose what went and what stayed. We made the decision ourselves on what really meant the most. This is entirely different from having everything taken from you outside your control. Second, I am not saying we have NOTHING. We have the necessities. We have things beyond the necessities. I am not comparing us to anyone in poverty, and I do not meant to be insensitive and imply that poverty is great. Having little is not the same as having nothing.

Saying that, we have less now than most middle class people in the Western World, and it is a wonderful, clean, refreshing feeling.

First of all, everything I see now really does just feel like 'stuff'. If something breaks beyond repair, I can just throw it away. When I'm shopping and see something attractive, I can admire it without buying it. In fact, many of the things I kept, I now wish I hadn't kept, because they weren't really necessary come to think of it.

Having little means my house is easy to keep clean. I don't have mountains of things with no real purpose or place. The kids still have more toys than they need but not so many that they don't each one have a special allotted space to be stored. My dishes don't pile up, because I only have one set which I wash and reuse immediately. I even marked 'dish drainer' off my list of 'needs', because I only have a few non-dishwashable items, which I can handwash immediately, dry and put away. My laundry doesn't pile up, because we don't have enough clothes to allow it to. In fact, I am finding it so hard to make a full load each time I wash, that I run it on Small Load more often than Medium or Large. With the help of my Motivated Moms Chore Schedule, I'm finding it incredibly easy to get to all those little jobs that used to be overlooked by all the dishes, laundry, and clutter I used to have to sort through first.

Scott asked me if I miss anything. Really, the only things I miss are my books (I love love love to read), my cookbooks (I'm lost in the kitchen without them), and some of my bento supplies that got lost along the way (my hobby and for a short while, my business). I also miss my Pampered Chef stoneware, but I'm coping without it! Some things that I miss I do hope to replace eventually, such as my sewing machine, but at the moment, I'm surviving without them.

If it hadn't been utterly necessary, I would never have been brave enough to clear out my entire 'life'. It would have seemed impossible, not just because of my attachment to my earthly possessions, but also because of the obligatory feelings attached to things - gifts given to me that would seem rude or ungrateful to get rid of. A few months ago I could hardly have used this word, but luckily I HAD to get rid of all those things, and thanks to that, I feel so free.

How do I encourage others to do the same? It's hard. I don't expect anyone will be able to do it to the extent we had to without a good reason. But I categorically DO encourage everyone to start seeing everything they own as mere 'stuff'. Don't be afraid to give away or throw away. Think, 'Will I miss this ten years from now?' With your wardrobes, think, 'Do I NEED six different black t-shirts? Or could I just wash the one or two on a regular basis instead?' Above all, remember It is all just stuff. You won't miss it.

Every time I walk into my new house and see a bare floor, clean walls, and empty tables, I breathe a sigh of relief. When I open my tiny kitchen cupboards and see tidy rows and lots of extra space, I smile. When I visit my kids room and ask them to clean up, I know it can be done quickly and relatively painlessly. When my chore schedule says to clean out the shower, I know I can manage it, because the general tidying up clutter doesn't need to be done first and foremost. At night, when the kids go to bed, I can do a quick sweep and hoover and then relax, or if needed, fold a (single) load of laundry or iron some clothes while watching Scrubs on DVD. Because I don't have a house full of rubbish to tackle at all times. It's amazing.

In a few years, I'm sure I'll own more, and it won't be so easy then to just give it all up. But it's changed something inside me, the need and the desire to own things. I just hope I can inspire others in return to think differently about their possessions and not be afraid to let them go. At the end of the day, we don't need much to get by, even comfortably, and very few things really matter.

Except maybe books.

Picking Your (Green) Battles

Laundering a Rainbow

You'd have to live in a cave (or be a Republican) to maintain an unawareness of how our modern lifestyle is adversely affecting the environment. We burn - literally - valuable fuel by pumping it into cars so we can avoid walking a mile. We throw goodness-knows-how-much rubbish into landfills. We pollute our drinking water. We kill wildlife in order to build more buildings. We use copious amounts of chemicals. We throw antibiotics in the trash and create superbugs.  We use products that rely on radiation on a daily basis.  The list goes on and on.

When you start to think about all the ways we abuse our planet, it can become pretty overwhelming. You can start thinking of all the ways you could do your part, but then more issues creep in, and before you know it, you are trying to battle global warming singlehandedly, and you begin to feel like just one tiny oil-covered seagull in a vast ocean of poisoned, mutated fish. Or something.

So I comfort myself by picking my battles. I know I can only do so much, and I know I could never do everything I should to protect our earth, so I choose those issues that I know I can do something about, and I dedicate myself to those small things. I'm like that kid who threw the starfish into the sea one by one.  Or something.

For instance, I've started taking my unused prescriptions and medications to the pharmacy for proper disposal. (I'm willing to bet they 'properly dispose' of them by tossing them in the skip out back.) I teach the kids not to litter. I tear apart my plastic six-pack soda rings, so they don't end up around a swamp duck's neck. I don't pack my kids' lunches in disposable sandwich baggies.  I limit the amount of chemicals and anti-bacterials I use in the house, opting for natural cleaners and body products where possible. Fifi (and the Inverclyde Council) coerce me to recycle.

And I use cloth nappies.


IN THE INTEREST OF FULL DISCLOSURE, I am not perfect with my cloth nappy use. I am on my third child, and I've learned (and re-learned) a few things. When Fifi was a baby, I was very, very dedicated. Cloth all the way, near enough, with only a few exceptions, until she was over a year old. Then came Lolly, and the cloth lasted all of three months. I was exhausted and stressed with two under two, and I fell off the wagon.  So when Jaguar started cooking in my womb, I re-dedicated my life to the use of cloth nappies (and bought some new boy-themed ones to re-enthuse msyelf!) and have done a pretty good job of keeping up with it, with some exceptions. For instance, I do put him in disposables for bedtime, because I have yet to find a good all-nighter that works well enough, and sometimes I reach for the disposable out of laziness. But a majority of the time, Jaguar too wears cloth like his sister Fifi did.

Fifi in a Tots Bots Bamboozle

My reasons going cloth are many. I decided to use cloth nappies on Fifi, because I'd read they were better for babies' skin and better for the environment. I realised this was a tangible and real way in which I could do my part in Saving The Earth, saving a ridiculous amount of unrecyclable landfill waste, while treating my baby better too. Then I discovered that not only are cloth nappies better for babies and for the environment, they were mega cute to boot!

Jaguar in an eBay Bargain

I mean, just how cute is a baby's bum all wrapped up in a big bulky colourful nappy?! And how much nicer must it feel to them to have their special baby bits wrapped up in soft cotton fluffiness over papery disposable scratchiness? And how much fun is it to find adorable new nappies to add to your collection? I just love them.

I admit, cloth nappies do have their down-sides. You must change them more often. You have to actually deal with poop. You must wear trousers the next size bigger to accommodate the oversized bum. And of course, you have to factor in a bit of extra laundry. It's not for everybody, but that's precisely my point here.

We all have to pick our battles. If you have the energy and resources to tackle every single environmental issue yourself, then go for it! But if you, like me, simply find yourself lost in the hopelessness of it all and must decide which small contributions you can make, then choose what works for you. Cloth nappies work for me. Composting and growing your own vegetables might work for you. Making one's own clothes out of repurposed plastic shopping bags might work for someone else. The point is finding that small wee way we can do each do our own wee part to help keep our planet happy.


In the meantime, look how cute my ten-month-old boy looks with his adorable cotton bottom!

(Also, that green nappy in the above two photos? It's a Birth-to-Potty nappy, so that's him in it a few days old, and him in it still ten months later!)



P.S. Tell me, what are YOUR green battles?

The Morning Peanut Butter

All right, who loves peanut butter? I do!

I love peanut butter anything - peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter cookies and cake, peanut butter milkshakes (oh yeah), peanut butter on a spoon...

Today I learned, however, that I do not like peanut butter in hair.

I woke up this morning (slightly later than intended but bright-eyed) and set the girls down at the table with bowls of cereal. I made myself a cup of tea and sat down at the table in my bathrobe, ready to wake up to a nice hot cuppa. I didn't yet have my contacts in or my glasses on but did notice Lolly's hair was a mess. This is no surprise though, as my Bohemian Earth Child always has wild, tangled hair.

While she was eating, Lolly said to me, "I need a haircut." This was a strange thing to hear her say, but I just brushed it off (haha, no pun intended). A few minutes later, as I walked past her, I absently caressed her hair as I passed by and felt a huge tangle.

"Oh Lolly, we're going to really need to brush your hair out today."

"I need a haircut, Mummy."

And that's when I saw it - a huge wad of chewing gum matted up in her long, gorgeous hair.

As it turns out, Fifi had found (?) a single piece of chewing gum on her bedroom floor (?) during the night and had given it to Lolly to chew (?). Lolly fell asleep, and ta da! the gum ended up in hair. (I was reminded of my favourite childhood book, Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day - "I went to sleep with gum in my mouth, and now there's gum in my hair.")

Fifi asked me, "Are you going to cut it out, Mummy?"

"No," I replied. Instead, I went to the cupboard and pulled out the jar of peanut butter.

As you can imagine, the girls were incredibly intrigued. Lolly thought I was going to make her eat it. When they discovered I was going to put it in her hair, they were astounded.

To be honest, I kinda was too.

My mom used to use peanut butter to get gum out of my hair, and it worked, but I mean, who came up with the idea? Hmm... there is chewing gum in my hair. Perhaps if I put ... oh... some... I don't know, some peanut butter in it, it'll dissolve and come right out!

Well it did, but it was an unpleasant experience. The smell was very strange, coming from hair, the gum dissolving in the peanut oil was an awful texture, and long strands of hair inevitably pulled out with it as I worked my fingers through the tangle, the gum and the peanut butter. Lolly was exceptionally patient while I went through this process, but it was rather unpleasant for me.

I then bunged her in the shower and washed all the peanut butter out. Again, the smell of peanut butter in the shower just didn't work for me. And the more hair pulled I out while working through the concoction, the more my fingers got wrapped up in a peanut buttery, gummy, hairy mess.

All before 7am. This was not how I expected to spend my morning. Or my peanut butter.

Needless to say, my tea was cold by the time I went back to it, but I emerged with a sense of Mummy Pride, a sense of having won a rite of passage to motherhood, having dealt with my first (of probably many) gum-in-the-hair experience.

I'm officially MOMed now.