Finding the Good Amongst the Bad and the Ugly: 2016

I think we can all agree that 2016 sucked seriously bad, but with the year from hell wrapping up tonight, I'd like to reflect not on all the deaths, divorces and demagogues, but on what went well for me and my family this year.

1. I landed my dream job. I wasn't looking for a new job, but like dream jobs are supposed to do, this one just sort of came out of nowhere. Working in communications and media relations, managing volunteers and staff, and belonging to a humanitarian organization that I fully support and believe in is exactly where I want to be. It's not an easy job, and there are days when I wonder how I'm ever going to accomplish all that needs to be done, and in this line of work I see a lot of heartbreak. But those things have a silver lining; I'm in a job that challenges me and helps me to grow, and I am a part of something that is making that heartbreak we see daily a little easier for disaster victims to cope with. Plus, I work with the most diverse and wonderful people imaginable. I love my job.

2. Scott got promoted. After working his tail off, he got a promotion in 2016 that he more than deserved. It means more work in some ways, but he was doing a majority of that work already. Now he gets acknowledged for it too. The two of us with our new jobs are feeling very "power-couple", very Frank and Clair Underwood, without all the lies, murder, backstabbing and covert negotiations with Russia.

3. I visited many new places. I was fortunate enough this year to travel to several new places I'd never been before. I went to Tacoma, WA, New Orleans, LA, and Denver, CO. For work, I also get to travel all over Arkansas and Oklahoma - maybe not the most exciting two states, but the travel makes every day something different. I love traveling, and 2016 gave me ample opportunities.

4. We got a dog. Isobel came into our lives in February. While she's more Scott's dog than mine, she's become a valuable member of our family and Scott's new best friend. We are happy to have her in the McFarlane household. Even if her farts stink to high heaven.

5. The kids are finding their niche. Fifi tried out for Odyssey of the Mind and was accepted into the program. She loves it and is so dedicated to it. I love seeing her imagination and dedication grow. Lolly got to start playing soccer again and is getting so good at it. Watching her excel at something she's been working hard at for many years now, even after a year long break, makes this mummy proud. Jaguar started Pre-K and is getting all the therapy he needs to help him catch up with his peers (speech, occupational and physical), and to see the difference school and therapy have made on him is incredible and makes my heart full. I love seeing all of my kids thrive and learn new things and do what they love.

6. There was some good entertainment.  Stranger Things on Netflix, The Hamilton Mixtape and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child were all products of 2016. These and other books, shows, movies and music are surely worth remembering came out of this year from hell.

2016 was a load of bollocks, but there are always things to be thankful for, even when you have to think really hard  to come up with them.  Here's hoping 2017 brings us better and more plentiful moments and fewer celebrity deaths and celebrity presidents.

Happy new year, friends!

The EVEN NEWER 100 Things About Me

Every now and again, I update my "About Me" page with more up-to-date and accurate information. I wrote the first 100 Things About Me in 2006.  I updated them in 2012.  It's been almost five years since then, and while a few things stay the same (where I was born, for instance), boy-howdy, have things about me changed since 2012! So once again, I present you with the highly self-centered and narcissistic:

Fireworks because this is so awesome.

The EVEN NEWER 100 Things About Me: (2016)

1. I was born, raised and educated in Arkansas, the Natural State. (Previously known as "The Land of Opportunity".)

2. I attended the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville and got my degree in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing.

3. I then married a Scotsman named Scott and moved to Greenock, Scotland, where we stayed for nine years.

4. During those nine years, we created three awesome and insane children, Fifi, Lolly and Jaguar (not their real names).

5. When Jaguar was 10 months old, the five of us moved back to Arkansas.

6. I was a devout Christian for 30+ years.

7. I am now an atheist.

8. I wrote a book about it.

9. In school and college, I went on several mission trips. These trips took me around the world to Venezuela, Mexico, Canada, Israel, Jordan, Pakistan, Wales and Scotland.

10. I've also been to France and England but not on a mission trip.

11. I love languages, and while I am the master of none, I have studied French, Arabic, Scots Gaelic and British Sign Language.  I am very good at English though.

12. In fact, English grammar is my pet passion, and I love it so much that I took an advanced grammar course in college FOR FUN. It was a required course for aspiring English teachers, and I was the only person taking that class as an elective.

13. When I moved to the UK, I purchased Fowler's Modern English Usage, so I could adapt to proper British grammar instead of American. Moving back to the US and re-adapting to American grammar has been confusing.

14. Speaking of grammar, one of my embarrassing intellectual memories includes freshman year in college writing in a paper that I was great at "grammer" and the professor replying in red ink "just not at spelling?". Cringe.

15. Also, I love the Oxford comma, but a career requiring AP style is slowly dousing that flame. I still believe in it but not as passionately as I once did.

16. Speaking of career, I am the regional communications director for the American Red Cross Serving Oklahoma and Arkansas. I have previously kept that anonymous, but to avoid conflict of interest, I fully disclose that now.

17. And I disclose that also to state that all opinions shared in this blog are mine (or used to be mine) and are not the opinions of my employer.  (Disclaimer complete. Moving on.)

18. Before working for the Red Cross, I worked in communications for a health care nonprofit, where I learned that according to AP style, "health care" is two words, not one. However, "voicemail" is now one word.

19. My hobbies change frequently, but over the years they have consisted of baking, sewing, card-making, painting, acting and exercising. The only hobbies that have truly weathered all the seasons of my life though are writing and reading.

20. Hobbies I have tried to take up but failed at miserably include gardening and crocheting.

21. I used to bite my nails horribly until I turned 18. At 18 I decided to become a grown-up and somehow kicked the habit. Now I'm kind of precious about my nails.

22. I do still bite them when I get nervous or anxious though.

23. I get anxious a lot actually and have a serious problem with over-analyzing everything in my life. Even my therapist tells me I need to get out of my own head and stop over-thinking everything.

24. I've just started seeing a therapist. I feel sorry for her.

25. Along with anxiety, I also deal with depression, body image/relationship with food and ADHD.

26. I cope pretty well with all of those things though. Or so I think. My therapist may think otherwise.

27. I also struggle with a whole slough of issues stemming from my life as an evangelical, Calvinist Christian, that I'm only just starting to unpack. I know that's an unpopular thing to say in the Bible Belt where being a Christian is supposed to be the best life choice for happiness and well-being, but in my spiritually masochistic heart, it wasn't.

28. Even though I'm an atheist, I'm not a "militant atheist", and I don't hate believers of any faith. I genuinely hope all people find peace and happiness in their faith or lack thereof. So I will never try to convince someone to stop believing what they believe. I'm afraid too many people don't understand that about me though.

29. I was a DJ for our college radio station, KXUA. I called myself DJ Xia and for some reason always spoke in a low voice while on the air. I certainly hope that I have kicked that habit now, especially as my job requires some on-air time here and there.

30. I like to change the subject sometimes when it gets too intense or controversial.

31. I used to be one to avoid conflict, and at times I still do when the conflict is unnecessary, but I'm also now very good at approaching conflict head on when needed. I will be frank with you if it will make a bad or weird situation better.

32. I am a control freak and a perfectionist.

33. I am ambitious and competitive.

34. I am also a really good listener.

35. I am relentlessly too honest and am trying to learn if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

36. When I was in fifth grade, I accidentally set part of my grandpa's cow field on fire with a bottle rocket. It was absolutely terrifying watching at least an acre, if not more, instantly become engulfed in flames. (No one was hurt.)

37. I was afraid of fire for a very long time after that. Couldn't even stand candles.

38. My other childhood fears were kidnappers and burglars. I blame Unsolved Mysteries and Rescue 911.

39. I also had a lifelong phobia of spiders. FOR REAL PHOBIA. I could not get close enough to them to even kill them or stick a cup over them. But when I moved back to Arkansas as a mother who had to protect her children from the (sometimes venomous) evil eight-legged hellspawn, I had to overcome that fear in order to get close enough to them to kill them. Now I hate them but don't have panic attacks over them. (Which is no lie - I used to have panic attacks over spiders.)

40. I used to have a pet lhaso apso named Bandit. He got dognapped.

41. I always think I'm a pet person, because I love other people's pets. But I'm not good at taking care of my own pets. We've had cats, rabbits, a rat, fish and now a dog. Luckily my husband is a really good dog daddy, and my cat fends for itself.

42. Even knowing I'm not a good pet parent, I still want a lhaso apso or some other kind of lap dog to be my best friend. I also always think I'd like a bird.

43. And for my yard I want chickens and a goat. Scott says absolutely not to the goat, but I think there's wiggle room with the chickens.

44. I am not a vegetarian, even though ethically I think I really should be one. We did try becoming vegetarians once but only lasted a week. I don't really like vegetables.

45. To make up for not being a vegetarian, I buy only free range eggs. I used to only buy free range chicken too, but holy hell that's expensive.

46. Still, every time I pass a chicken truck on the road, I re-evaluate my stance on eating meat.

47. I am a passionate breastfeeding advocate. I used to be a breastfeeding peer supporter with the Breastfeeding Network, and my mummy friends and I started a series of weekly breastfeeding support groups throughout Inverclyde, Scotland.

48. We also started a nonprofit (not-for-profit is actually what it was called, since it was in the UK) called Inverclyde Breastfeeding Mums, and we did some pretty cool stuff.

49. I breastfed all three of my kids for two to two and a half years each.

50. I even tandem fed my daughters for a few months.

51. While a "stay-at-home-mum", I taught baby signing classes, worked as a childminder and ran a online shop called Into Bento, which sold bento boxes and lunch accessories. (The shop is closed, but I've kept the Lunch Is Boring blog online.)

52. I also had the privilege and pleasure of doing some travel writing for SearchScotland.org, now SlainteScotland.com.

53. I used to be the desktop publisher for a private high school in Glasgow. I designed, laid out, wrote for and edited the annual magazine and the monthly newsletters. I saw the job advertised in the paper, had no experience with Photoshop or InDesign whatsoever, but quickly taught myself the basics, interviewed for the job and got hired. It was the best "fake it 'til you make it" experience of my life. It got me on my communications career path.

54. I believe in "fake it 'til you make it", as long as you know you are capable of making it.

55. I am also a chronic sufferer of impostor syndrome, so what do I know?

56. I think I am a strong leader and a good manager. But I'm also a self-doubter and my own worst critic, so ask me again tomorrow and I might say the exact opposite.

57. I used to think of myself as solely right-brained, but as it turns out, I'm pretty left-brained too. I'm creative but analytical, scatterbrained but organized, emotional but rational. I'm either a unicorn or a hot mess.

58. I'm definitely an extrovert though.

59. I'm ENFJ to be precise (Extrovert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging). The F and J are very close to the T and P though (Thinking and Perceiving).

60. I love monkeys. I have a unrealistic dream of having a pet monkey one day, like an organ grinder kind of monkey.

61. My favorite colors are orange, green and purple.

62. I want an orange car.

63. I enjoy sorting and folding laundry. It calms me.

64. I hate sweeping but love vacuuming.

65. I never call it vacuuming; it's still "hoovering" in my mind. Just as gas is still petrol, diapers are still nappies, underwear is still pants, and Scotch is still whisky. Some British and/or Scottish words will never and should never die.

66. Because words like crabbit, dreich, numpty, mingin', boggin', steamin', glaikit and tumpshie just do not have proper English equivalents.

67. I love shoes.

68. I love makeup. I never wore it much until I turned 30. Then, as with the nail biting, I decided to become a grown-up and start wearing it.  I love wearing makeup now.

69. I love my hair. My hair has been every cut, style and color imaginable. It's always been pretty short until I moved back to Arkansas. I've been growing it out ever since, and I LOVE having long hair. It's also managed to stay the same color for a while now, which is weird and likely to change soon.

70. I was in Forensics in high school. Not the study of dead people but competitive speech and drama. My favorite events were poetry reading, improv, duet acting, solo acting and mime. I was actually pretty good at mime.

71. I did musical theater in high school as well but never got a lead role in a musical. I did play Truvy in Steel Magnolias though.

72. So then in Scotland I got involved with amateur dramatics and did theater there too. Again, no lead roles except for Shelby in Steel Magnolias. It was by far my favorite part I ever played.

73. But actually I did play a few other lead roles. In Scotland I performed in pantomimes, which are not the same thing as silent mime, and was the Principal Boy a couple of times. Panto is amazing, and I wish they did them here in the States.

74. In high school I entered two beauty pageants. I was not the beauty pageant type, but hello, scholarships! I got a measly $500 scholarship out of one of them for winning the "Be Yourself Award" or something stupid like that. In the interview, they asked me about my second place state championship award for mime and asked me to do a mime of how I felt getting ready that morning. I wanted to kill myself.

75. I had the best friends in high school. Many of us still keep in touch to this day, and many of us have the most awesome lives now. Class of 2000 was an epic class.

76. I also had some really awesome friends in Scotland. Even though we're an ocean apart, I still know I could call many of them, and they'd be there for me.

77. I now have some awesome friends thanks to the book club I joined. The Velociraptors in an Opium Den ladies are, well, awesome. And we actually read books in this book club.

78. I love to sing. I used to lead worship at church, but now that I don't have church, or musical theater for that matter, I just sing in the car really loud. And sometimes I karaoke.

79. My favorite alcoholic beverages are gin and whisky ("Scotch"). I like my gin with tonic or juice, and I drink my whisky neat.

80. I never win anything, except that one time I won the Glenmorangie grand prize of a weekend trip for eight to stay at the Glenmorangie House in Tain, Scotland. Scott and I, along with three other couples, spent a three-day weekend enjoying activities such as skeet shooting, yachting Loch Ness, strolling along the beach, touring the Glenmorangie distillery and drinking all the free whisky we wanted. Best prize ever.

81. Oh, and I also won a pager from a radio station in the '90s. I was so cool.

82. I used to go to raves in the '90s too. I started out a kandie kid, ended up a jungle lover. My raver name on the rave forums was xialuvsjungle.

83. I then got into indie and became a really unsuccessful hipster.

84. I used to be the door girl at two bars, JR's Lightbulb Club and the Dickson Theater.

85. Other career choices in my past include Little Caesar's and Pizza Hut in high school. I also worked in a law firm during the summers.

86. While at college I also worked in the university's development office. Somehow I managed to do school full time, work in the development office between and after classes, and be the door girl at night. I don't know if college students get more hours in their day than adults do? Or maybe the secret to success is living off $5 Eureka pizzas and Diet Dr Pepper.

87. It certainly wasn't beer, because I did not drink alcohol until I was 21. I got very sick on my 21st birthday.

88. My birthday is April Fools Day.

89. My best birthday party was my 30th. I had a "Music Mania" party complete with karaoke and a DJ and all things '80s and '90s. Everyone dressed up as a music sensation. I was very pregnant but pulled off a pretty sweet Gwen Stefani.

90. I do not think I'd ever like to be pregnant again.

91. I have changed a lot as a mum, but the things I still believe in are gentle parenting (no spanking), babywearing, infant cosleeping, breastfeeding and dinner together around the table. As my kids get older I'm entering a whole new world of parenting, which is terrifying, but I think I'm doing okay.

92. I am without a doubt screwing up my kids.

93. I love working for the Red Cross, as it matches my natural inclination for helping others. I also strongly support other causes, such as LGBT rights and women's rights. I actively support causes such as Lucie's Place, a home for LGBT young people, and Femme International, which provides among other things reusable feminine hygiene products for girls in Africa who would otherwise be unable to attend school for a week every month due to her periods.

94. I am a feminist.

95. For someone who has no problem posting intimate details of her life online and publishing a book about the most vulnerable time in her life, I am very guarded and trust very few people in my real everyday life. In other words, I make no sense.

96. I hate for anyone to see me cry and hate to be seen as weak or needy. I like to be self-sufficient and hate asking for help.

97. I used to collect kokeshi dolls.

98. The only sports I care an ounce for are soccer, tennis and baseball. The only sports team I care about is Glasgow Rangers, and even they are not really on my radar anymore.

99. I love politics. I am a registered Democrat though I'm more left wing than they are.

100. I love making lists.

P.S. My old 100 Thingses are still on the About Me page if you scroll down. They make me giggle, because some are still true and some are SO NOT.

Work From Home

The best thing about working from home when you're sick, besides violently blowing your nose without having to apologize to anyone, is having a kitty sleep at your feet all day.

New House New Town New School

Well, we've kept it pretty quiet until it was a done deal, but this past weekend we MOVED! We moved out of Nowheresville into Somewheresville.  It's not quite the city, but Target is a five minute drive away, so I count that as a major step up in the world.

We rented a cute four bedroom house in a cute neighborhood with a cute neighborhood school and a cute-slash-awesome daycare. Instead of taking 45 minutes to get to work, it takes us 15. It's incredible.

When the house gets less boxy and more decorated, I'll take some pictures. It's an older house than the one we left, which has its advantages and disadvantages. The closets are much smaller, the bathrooms are smaller, and it's got old features like popcorn ceilings and wooden panel walls and drafty doors. BUT it's also got some adorable quirks like a wet bar, a wood burning fireplace and a Harry Potter-esque room under the stairs which will double as a fantastic storm shelter in case of a tornado.

The kids are loving the new space. It's such a big house that sometimes I actually can't find someone. Usually though, it's a cat I can't find. They are having a difficult time adjusting to their new digs. I'm trying to teach them to use the toilet instead of a litter box, with modest - very modest - success. More often than not, Sassy pees in the bathtub, but hey, it's better than the carpet! And I'm proud to report there HAVE been some poos in the toilet litter, which means it's starting to sink in on some level. If all goes according to plan, I'll have potty trained kitties in about, oh, three to four months. Worth it!

Today was the kids' first day of school at their new school. I am LOVING that they wear uniforms again. I think uniforms are a great thing for kids, at least young kids. It's easier on parents, it looks neat and tidy, and it levels the playing field for kids across the board.

Jaguar also started in his new daycare. We loved his old daycare and will miss the wonderful people there, but this daycare is super-cool. I told Jaguar they had pet guinea pigs in every classroom.  He laughed in my face and said, "No! Dinosaurs!" I had to explain to him that the daycare did not have pet dinosaurs, just guinea pigs. He didn't really believe me until he saw for himself today.

So now that we have hot water, a fridge (had to buy our own), and internet, the place is starting to feel like a home. Now we just need to stock up our wet bar (we live in a wet county again! No more driving out of city limits to buy wine!) so I can have a nice wee night cap before bed.

Things are looking up!

P.S. We have a guest room now, so if you out-of-towners want to come visit....

Pumpkinpalooza Times Two

Yesterday was a somewhat busy day, and by the time I realized dinner time was approaching, I had nothing prepared. I'd gotten off menu over the past few days, so I'd already made the designated curry for Monday night. I also didn't have a pumpkin recipe planned, because that too had gone off menu and already been made. So I robbed Peter to pay Paul - or whatever that phrase is. I took Thursday's Carrot Pumpkin Soup recipe and quickly chopped, sauteed, boiled and blended a delicious soup.






I found the recipe here on Hello Giggles and followed it pretty closely, except for the seasoning. I'm not a big fan of curry powder flavor and was pretty sure the kids would not be either. I also did not fancy adding nutmeg, so I just seasoned it with salt and a little crushed red pepper.

It was very yummy and is definitely going on the Make Again list.

Also, I wish that my house had better lighting, and my camera took better pictures. I'm always jealous of everyone else's food photography.

Anyway.


Then this morning, I made the MOST DELICIOUS PUMPKIN CREAM CHEESE DANISH in the world. This recipe from Lauren's Latest was linked to me on Facebook by one of the many friends who have started connecting the name Lori to the word Pumpkin. I followed this recipe perfectly too. The filling was actually twice what I needed so I made two danish logs. Scott and I may or may not have eaten one of them entirely by ourselves...

Again, most DEFINITELY on the Make Again list. Make Again Soon. Make Again All The Time.



And if all this pumpkin lately just isn't your thing, maybe a cute black cat in a basket is?

A Snow Day and a Sad Day and a Pervy Little Elf Day

Even though it's been warm all week (Fifi was outside climbing trees in shorts yesterday), it's going to get really cold and supposedly very icy tonight and tomorrow. While this kind of messes with my Pampered Chef parties this weekend, I can't say I'm not excited about Fifi being off school and Scott being off work! A surprise three-day weekend!

I do think there has been a little bit of hysteria over this weather going on around here. I mean, ice is bad, yeah, and no one wants to drive in it (especially with all the people on the road who don't know how to drive in it), but it seems a bit pre-emptive to cancel the universe before it's even happened, before the temperatures even hit below freezing.

Anyway, I'm not complaining. Day off tomorrow means lazing about, not having to wake up early, having an easy day and making up for the Advent Activity we did NOT do today.

I'd forgotten until last night that Fifi had a Girl Scouts thing tonight, so I had to do a little swapping around. We were supposed to watch a Christmas movie and eat popcorn together, but I changed it to have a picnic on the floor in our pajamas. Still a stupid thing to change it to because I wasn't going to get Fi in her pj's before Girl Scouts! At any rate, none of that happened at all.

Partially because of this...

You probably recall Gracie, our miniature dachshund. Our miniature un-house-trained dachshund. We love Gracie. She is the sweetest, gentlest dog ever... but she poos and pees EVERYWHERE. We just couldn't keep her inside for longer than 20 minutes for fear she'd mess our carpets again. With the weather getting colder, I just hated having her outside. We'd bring her in, but then she needed to stay in her crate, which just made me feel cruel.

I'd have loved to take the time to train her but with two other kids at home all day? It just wasn't feasible. So we started looking for a new home for our sweet Gracie.

My mom called me today to let me know a woman at her work had a daughter who loves the breed and was willing to take on the challenge of house training her. And she wanted her today.

Lolly was distraught. I was pretty broken up about it too, though I knew it was the best thing for our doggie. I decided I couldn't take Gracie away without Fifi getting to say goodbye, so I picked her up early from school on the way to taking Gracie to her new home and broke the news to Fifi. Fifi was distraught.

The whole thirty-minute drive was agony. The two girls wailed the whole way. Lolly kept crying, 'This life stinks!' and 'Why did you take us to this rubbish, rubbish, rubbish, rubbish America?!' and 'I want to go back to Scotland!' The cries not only made my head pound, they made my eyes water. I feel your pain, girls. In so many ways.

I took some pictures of the girls with their dog before saying goodbye, but they are too sad to share. So here's a less sad one for Lolly to remember her 'precious, precious puppy', as she kept calling her all day. This was earlier in the day before the reality of it hit her.


Afterwards, I took the kids by McDonald's for an ice cream. This helped soothe their pain tremendously. Then I stopped into Walmart to get some milk before this supposed 'snowpocalypse' rolls in. The people of central Arkansas have gone crazy. The state of their shopping carts made me think they were stacking the shelves of their nuclear bomb shelters before crawling in for the next ten years.

By the time we got home, and I got dinner ready, it was time for Girl Scouts, so no picnic in pj's. Fifi and Lolly did have a lot of fun cutting up thousands of sheets of white paper into snowflakes... which totally screws day number 9's plans. But tomorrow's snow day means we can have a picnic on the floor in our pj's all day long if we want.

And now, for a Banoffee Pie Update:

This morning the girls found BP having a leisurely tea party with his two favourite redheads, Ariel and Merida.


Even though he's friends with both, he obviously couldn't help perving on Ariel a little bit in her little teeny-tiny purple bikini. She wasn't helping things with the slutty way she was sitting either. But maybe it's not entirely her fault; I've never tried to sit on a picnic blanket in a fin, so I don't know what's comfortable.


Banoffee made some delicious Chocolate Oatmeal No-Bake Cookies too. Little ones for he and his friends to share with their cup of tea (real tea, despite Fifi tasting it and saying it was just water - it was real tea!) and jello (Lolly's gift to Banoffee yesterday). He also made plenty for us too, though I may or may not have eaten 95% of all by myself.


Stop checking the mermaid out, Banoffee!

You sly dog, you!

hot tears puffy eyes

hot tears puffy eyes
love that tears hearts and tissues
allergic to cat

A History Of Pets

Photo attributed to Stephen & Claire Fansworth

When I was a Junior in high school, I brought home a piglet from the town fair. I worked hard to win that pig. There was a booth set up where you had to throw ping pong balls into jars, or something else set up to be impossible to win, and the prize was a piglet. I immediately fell in love with those piglets and spent probably $30 on tries. I still couldn't get the required number of ping pong balls into the required number of jars, so my friend Matt Yeager lent me another $20 to keep trying. The man with the pigs eventually just gave me a pig. Or rather, I paid him $50 for one, is more like it. I wrapped the piglet up in a jacket and drove home with him in my lap.

Upon arrival, my mother and father immediately said, 'No.' I tried to argue, but it was a firm, very firm, extremely firm, 'NO.' In tears, I drove Wilbur back to the town fair.


I ran into a girl from school and told her my sad story. Her mom, a woman as insensible as myself, fell in love with Wilbur just like I had and agreed to take the piglet from me. They raised Wilbur in their back yard, for at least as long as I had any contact with them.

****

I have a long history of rescuing animals. I can't help it. I'm maternal that way. When I was about six, I tried to rescue a baby bird who had fallen out of it's nest. I'm pretty sure I actually just killed it, but I tried. I be-friended and be-petted box turtles, as most Southern kids do. We also had non-rescued pets growing up, like our dogs Sandy, Bandit, Rascal and Benjy, and a kitten called Butterscotch. (Butterscotch and her black sister died while still kittens, I barely remember them.)

When I was a Freshman in high school, I adopted a rat named Squirt from a Senior who couldn't take him to college with him. Squirt lived in a cage in my room until his sad, sad death a couple of years later. In college, I turtle-sat my boyfriend/exboyfriend/boyfriendagain/exboyfriendagain's water turtle Speedy for over a year, because he couldn't keep it in his apartment.

When I moved to Scotland, Scott and I adopted two cats from the animal shelter. We loved those two cats, Remedios the Beauty and Clementine, very much, but my pregnancy got in the way of caring for them. The smell of the cats aggravated my severe morning sickness to the point I just couldn't keep them any more. My sister-in-law Katie and her husband Faisal ended up taking them in. At that point, Scott and I swore off pets forever. We loved pets, but they are just too much work. I had realised by that stage that as much as I loved animals, I'm just not a good pet owner. The hygiene issue with animals is just too gross for me.

But logic as usual lost the battle to my emotions, and I began wanting another pet after Lolly was born. There was about a year when we believed Lolly would be our last child, and I was broody. So I started looking into pet rabbits. And that's how our minilop Chewbacca entered the family. Chewbacca was great, but soon after I got pregnant with Jaguar and realised Chewy would soon be rather neglected with a newborn around. So I adopted a rescue rabbit, Zelda.

Zelda died not long after joining our family, which devastated us. She was such a gentle and friendly rabbit, unlike moody Chewy. Still, I loved Chewy and had every intention of bringing him to America with us. Unfortunately, I came to understand, the reality of rabbits is that they are very vulnerable and scaredy, and the flight would more than likely kill the poor creature. So we rehomed Chewy with close Scottish friends and moved to America - promising we were done with pets until the kids were older.

Not two months later, we adopted Gracie, our miniature dachshund. Gracie had only recently been adopted by my mom from my step-dad's ex-wife's parents. Then Rico, a puppy Boston Terrier, joined their family, and we knew it was only a matter of time before Mom would ask if we'd like to have Gracie. After all, Gracie was the first dog Lolly ever warmed to, and Lolly loved that daft dog. Scott and I discussed it before Mom ever event mentioned it and agreed we'd take Gracie if she asked. She did ask, and we did take Gracie.

I tried to buy a Chihuahua at a flea market about a month ago, but Scott put the kibosh on that instantly. He said the next pet we got would be a 'proper' dog, like a Golden Retriever.

And now here we go again. A little black kitten followed us to and from school one day, Lolly fell in love with it, played with it all day, fed it and formed an attachment. The little stray did not seem to have any home, so we have now seemingly adopted little Zombie Cat, a lucky black cat roaming around days before Halloween, into our little home.

I just can't seem to say no to animals. Even though I'm not a great pet owner, I love animals and want to care for them. Other people, like actual 'cat people' or 'dog people', would probably be better with their animals, letting them sleep in their beds or eat at their tables or take over their home, which will never be me. But show me a creature that just needs a warm bed and food and a safe place to live, and I'll find it hard to turn away.

Heaven forbid someone leave a baby on my doorstep.

ODP Days 24, 25 & 26: I've Lost That Lovin' Feeling...

... for this dress.

Persevering though. Only four more days to go. I can do this. I can do this. I can.... do... this........

Day 24.


I'm so done with this project that I'm not even remembering to get photos taken in the mornings. Lolly has been my midday photographer as of late. I wore The Dress on this lovely nippy day with jeans, a gold velvet jacket, a birdie scarf and a black and white woolly hat, not because it was cold but because my hair was a mess.

Day 25.


So. Bored. Wore The Dress with jeans and a gray long-sleeved t-shirt over it. The only difference was, instead of tucking it in, or tying it to the side, I tied it to the back. Yippee.

Day 26.


We had soccer games this morning, and it really was pretty chilly, so I wore jeans and my Lil Red Bananas t-shirt with a coat and a hat. I saved The Dress for tonight. I had a booth for my Pampered Chef business and wanted to keep The Dress clean, or shall say 'wanted to keep the dress clean' in quotes because really, I just didn't want to wear The Dress all day. For tonight, I wore The Dress with black tights, brown flats, a brown belt, brown earrings, a brown chunky necklace and a white shrug. I wished I had had white tights. I pinned all my hair back in bobby pins ('kirby grips'). I kinda liked the outfit. Mostly I liked my hair and the jewellery but in general didn't hate the outfit.

Lil Miss Fifi wore Her Dress on Day 24 very cute with a black bow around her waist, black tights and shoes and a black shrug. And a random pink flower in her hair.


She slummed it on Day 25 with her The Sound of Music sweatshirt (from when she performed as Gretl in the Spring at The Beacon), and black leggings. Sorry for the blurry shot, we were at school and the bell had rung and my new phone has a seriously hard time focusing.


Today being soccer, she didn't wear Her Dress. She wanted to put it on after soccer, but totally my fault, I hadn't washed it yet. She was spending the whole day outside anyway, so it would've gotten pretty dirty.

Why was she outside all day?

Because we have this.


This little fellow (and we've just confirmed it is a FELLOW and a not a girlie cat like we assumed by the pink flea collar) followed us home yesterday after school. Lolly fell immediately in love with him. I've never seen Lolly like any cat before. This little boy had been wandering the neighbourhoods for a few days, and we were worried about him. We gave him some food and asked around all the neighbours for information, but it appears the little guy was abandoned. So we have adopted him.

We thought he was a girl, because whoever left him, left him in a pink flea collar, so we named him Professor Minerva McGonagall. However, my original name has seemed to have stuck (yay!) so Professor McGonagall goes by the common name Zombie Cat. After all, he's a black cat who suddenly started following us around just prior to Halloween... doesn't that seems suspicious to you? So we welcome Zombie Cat to our little family. Sweetest kitty ever, besides his insatiable taste for BRAAAAIIIINNNNSSSS.

If you open up the door, we'll all come inside and eat your brains.

ODP Weekend Days 12 & 13: Slummin' It.

It's the weekend. I had nowhere to be, so I didn't bother wasting precious ideas on The Stripes.

Yesterday, the kids were supposed to have soccer games, but as we left our house, some raindrops started falling. I checked the soccer website, and it had announced only four minutes prior that games were ON. So we pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the playing fields. Minutes later, it turned into a downpour. I pulled over and called the Team Mom Angie to see what was up. According to the coach, she said, games were on. In the downpour. With the lightening. I started griping to Marion about how there was no way I was taking my baby out in this and the kids can't play in this and this is dangerous with the lightening and so on and so forth. (Fifi in the back seat started chanting, 'Mummy's turning into an American!' because I refused to sit through a rainy soccer game, which she apparently deemed highly un-Scottish of me.) Then Angie called back to say the games had definitely been cancelled. We rejoiced and got Shipley's Donuts to take home instead.

I'd been wearing my Lil Red Bananas t-shirt (Lolly's team), but when the game got called, I went home and changed out of it. The game is rescheduled for Tuesday, so I figured it was best to save that particular ensemble for then. I changed into ultra-casual this:


Obviously, from this picture, you can tell, it stopped raining later. I didn't get a photo until we headed out for tea at 5pm. I'm simply wearing The Stripes with a gray short-sleeved hooded top and a black beaded necklace. I think I just threw on a pair of shoes, I didn't pay much attention.

Fifi, after changing out of her soccer uniform, decided she was tired of the Project. She asked if she could take Saturday and Sundays off. Most of the day she instead wore a Christmas jumper and a sparkly dress around her waist like a skirt. I told her she couldn't wear that out to dinner though, and reluctantly she changed back into Her Dress. I cheered her up by letting her borrow a necklace of mine (which she promptly snapped) and one of my hats. She added the pink stripy blazer and sparkly red heels.

Today was my mother-in-law's last day here (tear, sniff). We didn't have anything really planned, just spending a few more hours together relaxing. We did make a quick trip into Walmart this morning, and had McDonald's while we were at it, so I put on The Stripes. I layered it with a tan-colored tunic and brown beaded necklace and earrings and brown flats. Lolly took a photo of me when we got back. Jaguar photo-bombed it.


It is abundantly clear from this blurry photo that my legs have a long way to go before they match the tan on my arms. Ick.

Fifi got very excited suddenly about getting her picture made. To Walmart, she'd only worn simply Her Dress, but for the photo, she went wild with a red scarf, a pink hat (Lolly's) and giraffe ears (also Lolly's). Lolly was not impressed.


The rest of the day today, before Granny left, we played outside with kites and did some outside Halloween decorating. When Granny left for the airport with Scott, however, it was an utter meltdown. My poor girls wailed, my poor Mummy-in-law cried, I cried, Jaguar cried because everyone else was crying... it wasn't pretty. I changed into my pajamas right then (4pm) and made a batch of brownies, which I proceeded to eat straight out of the oven. Then I cleaned. Anything to keep from feeling sad about saying goodbye once again to my Other Mother.

Flying of the kites

Granny helping with the flying of the kites

Daddy helping with the flying of the kites

Blurry, but so Lolly

Jaguar, enthralled

Our scarecrows, guardians of the mailbox

Corpse Bride Ghost made by Fifi

Up close and spooky

Pumpkin Planter

My real Mother and David came over for dinner later on after Scott helped David move some furniture. It made me feel less lonely having my mommy around. The house felt too quiet without Marion. Mom helped me rearrange some furniture in the living room and my bedroom to accommodate for my new desk they got me, at which I am sitting right now in my new Pampered Chef 'office' space. We had steak and okra for dinner, played with my dog Gracie and put the kids to bed.

Now, it's time for me to get in bed too. Weekday mornings start awfully early around here; school starts at ten to eight!!

Oor dug

Oh Temptress, Thy Name Is Little Debbie

Today was the first difficult day of the September Shopping Challenge.

Last night I realised I was on my last can of dog food, which meant I needed to go today for my mid-week emergency stop.  I was dreading it, because I have been working on a list all week of things I need to get eventually, and knowing I was going into the store for dog food was like sneaking out of my teenage bedroom window to go raving while grounded.  I started thinking of all the things I could buy on my one mid-week shopping trip and had to keep reminding myself I wasn't allowed.  Finally, instead of going to Walmart where the brand of dog food I usually buy is sold, I decided to make a quick stop into Dollar General instead and just get one or two cans of the generic stuff to get me by until Friday.

But even Dollar General seemed to be curling her sexy manicured finger at me, alluring me into her chamber and tempting me with all kinds of naughty delights.

I tried to go directly to the pet section in the back but accidentally took the toy aisle, a dangerous route for Lolly.  Luckily we made it through that valley of darkness and arrived safely in Pets.  I found a can of what seemed the most similar to what Gracie is used to and picked up two.

Then came the problem I always have when I'm just wanting to get one thing; I never carry any cash.  So for two cans of dog food, at 75 cents a piece, I was going to have to use my debit card.... what?  No.  It's just wrong on principle.  But I needed dog food, I couldn't leave without it, and I wasn't going to buy lots of the rubbish dog food just to justify using my card.  So I thought, 'What else do I need?' and I walked through the Halloween aisle.  I caressed a bag of candy corn, but thoughts of the Challenge reminded me candy corn isn't a necessity.  I quickly ushered Lolly out of the Halloween section to the food.  I didn't need milk or cereal or chips or...

Pizza crust!

There on the shelf was pizza crust with sauce.  Pizza crust (mix) and sauce had been on my shopping list last Friday but for the life of me I couldn't find them in Kroger.  Pizza is on our menu for this week, and I'd forgotten I hadn't been able to find any.  So even though they looked cheap and will probably taste like a plimsol, I bought the ready-made pizza crusts with their individual sachets of sauce and felt that purchase justified using my debit card and met the criteria for the challenge.

I made it all the way to the check out when I saw them... Little Debbie's Bat Brownies.  Suddenly my growling stomach reminded me I'd missed breakfast this morning and wouldn't be home until lunch, since Lolly had her monthly homeschool get together right after, and my impulse got the better of me before my reason had time to counter. The Little Debbies were tossed onto the conveyor belt just in time for them to be scanned and bagged.

I spent $8.77 in Dollar General today, $1.75 of which were Bat Brownies, the best brownies ever.  Actually, they taste pretty crap, but anything tastes better with a little sprinkling of something illicit.