September Shopping Challenge: Essential Prep

So for those of you who are joining me in the September Shopping Challenge for the first time, here are a few tips for getting started.

The key to success in this challenge is prep prep prep. It's essential that you plan ahead, budget and keep track of your spending.

When it comes to meals, menu planning is a must. We have in our kitchen four planning boards - meals, kids' schedules, parents' schedules ... and a fourth that has yet to find a real use but was needed to make the space look right. Chore schedules would probably make sense, if I'd just get around to it. This month, though, I've made the fourth board a shopping challenge record board.

Menu planning is essential. #septembershoppingchallenge

A photo posted by Lori McFarlane (@lorimcfarlane) on Aug 28, 2016 at 6:34pm PDT

Usually I only plan meals for the two weeks of the pay period, but this month I went ahead and planned for all month. I included eat-out days, so they could be budgeted as well.  Using my scheduling board, I made sure that the meals I planned corresponded with our schedules. For instance, Lolly has soccer practice two days a week; those days, the dinners I've planned are quick and simple, so she can eat and be back out the door in time for practice.  I have book club on the 3rd, so I planned out an extra dish to bring along to that. Don't forget to plan for Labor Day weekend too - will you be going out? Barbecuing? Menu planning around your schedules is important.

Menu planning is essential. #septembershoppingchallenge

A photo posted by Lori McFarlane (@lorimcfarlane) on Aug 28, 2016 at 6:35pm PDT

Then you need to plan your grocery list around your menu. I made my shopping list in the kitchen, going through each day and writing down what was on the menu and what ingredients I'd need for each thing. I also made sure I checked the fridge and the pantry in case I already had some of the ingredients or in case I thought I had some but didn't.  I also checked my household lists for "other" items I needed to buy.

Grocery lists are a must. #septembershoppingchallenge

A photo posted by Lori McFarlane (@lorimcfarlane) on Aug 28, 2016 at 6:36pm PDT

Finally, it's useful, if you have the time, to make sure everything on your list will fit into your grocery budget. For our family of five, our budget is $300 a fortnight for groceries. I know from experience that my grocery list is almost always going to fit into that budget, so I no longer write down the numbers, but I still write down the actual costs as I'm shopping so I can tally up before check-out, and if I've overspent, I can put some things back.  For those of you new to budgeting though, I recommend playing your own version of the supermarket game, if you have the time. I did all of this on Saturday while the kids played on their iPads and computers, so I could have enough time to really plan all this out. However, I know we don't all have tons of spare time to be super meticulous. If you have the time, though, the supermarket game is a great way to keep yourself from overspending or buying extra items while at the store.  Follow the link to read in detail, but a quick summary of the game is this:

1. Next to each item on the list, write down what you suspect each item will cost. (I round up to the nearest $0.50 or $1.)

2. Total it up so you know what you think you will end up spending. (If that total is over your budget limit, go back through and see what you can cut out.)

3. While at the store, write down how much the item actually cost. You can even grade yourself on how well you guessed by giving yourself a point for each item you either got exactly right and two points for each you spent less on. Take away a point for each item you spent more than your estimate. Take away another point for each item you buy that wasn't on your list. Give yourself no points but do not take away if that unplanned for item was a true necessity. (We all forget sometimes that we need butter or have run out of baking soda.)  Each item on your list started out as a single point, so at the end of the game, how close to your original list did you get, point-wise?

(I also write down each extra item I buy with its cost, so I can keep track of what I'm buying and where the extra expenses came from.)

4. When you check out, if you stayed under your budget, you win! If you went over, you didn't "lose" you just know how to estimate better next time. Tally up your points too and see how well you did. Did you estimate everything well? Did you underspend more often than you overspent?

Stick to your list and keep track of actual on-site costs. #septembershoppingchallenge

A photo posted by Lori McFarlane (@lorimcfarlane) on Aug 28, 2016 at 6:37pm PDT

This is how I keep myself on budget with meals and groceries. This month, I'm also keeping a record of what I've spent in groceries and in my personal spending allowance. Seeing it in black and white (rather than in a bank account) somehow makes the money seem more real to me. I know using a checkbook transaction log is good, and I should really start doing that again, but I tend to use that only for  my checks. If you are already using a log, that is great! If you aren't logging anything at all, I'd suggest you find an easy way to do it. My log is just a sticky pad I keep in my car with a pen. As soon as I get in the car, I record what's on the receipt (or a rounded-up estimate if I've already managed to lose the receipt.) Whatever works for you. But I highly recommend logging your spending somewhere, somehow.

Keep a log of you're spending, even if it's just an informal tally. #septembershoppingchallenge

A photo posted by Lori McFarlane (@lorimcfarlane) on Aug 28, 2016 at 6:38pm PDT

Get planning, folks! September starts Thursday!

Letters to My Past Self - Part 2

In 2013, I wrote letters to my past self, giving myself the advice I wish I'd been able to give myself when I was 16, 18, 20 (but certainly would have ignored). Mostly it was regarding boys, though some pertained to studying harder and making better financial choices . (Was getting a nose ring and losing your college tuition money from Mom and Dad worth it?) (Yes, kind of.)

I have some more things I'd like to tell past me.

Dear Lori (24),

Don't let anyone tell you to put that baby down more or stop being so obsessive over organic homemade baby food or that using cloth nappies is a waste of your time. This is your time to figure out motherhood on your own, and even though two babies later you will find that putting that baby down more will make life easier and that your baby will still be healthy and thrive if you feed her baby food from a jar* and that cloth nappies are fantastic for the environment and your wallet but holy hell they are a lot of smelly work and it's okay to sometimes reach for the disposable, right now you do exactly what you feel is right and be proud of each decision you make. I stand behind you and all first time mums in all your idealistic and ambitious plans. I'm proud of you.

Love,

Lori (34, mother of three)
*That is, when you don't have time to do baby led weaning, of course. I know you'd hate it if I didn't make that distinction.

******

Dear Lori (29),

Speaking of ambition, let's get one thing straight. You never stopped being ambitious. You never lost yourself. Your brain never turned to mush. You must not keep thinking this about yourself.

You left college with a fantastic job for a recent grad, and at the ripe young age of 22 you went through the entire process of immigration all on your own. You moved abroad. You managed to blag your way into another great job in a field you had no experience in. You kicked serious ass at that job (though your work ethic could probably have been a little better).  You were ambitious, and you knew it.

Then you got pregnant and decided with Scott to become a stay at home mum. And that's where your confidence began to shake.

You stayed out of the traditional workforce for nine years. You believed you had nothing to offer the world other than being a good mum. You believed you were only marginally smart. You stopped believing in yourself. You looked at your friends and saw them as successful, while viewing yourself as barely contributing to society.

STOP THAT.

Girl, let's look at it from my perspective now.

You left the traditional workforce to become the most kick ass mother you could possibly be. You researched every single mothering topic known to womankind. You made conscientious decisions about everything. You did things very differently from what was expected of you, but you did it with confidence, because you were informed and ambitious about mothering.

You were AMBITIOUS about mothering. If you were going to be a stay at home mum, you were going to be the best damn stay at home mum you could be. Ambition isn't just for the workplace. (Shout out to all the ambitious stay at home mums out there. I know for a fact how hard y'all work your asses off.)

Here's something else you may not be realizing.  You weren't just a stay at home mum. You were an entrepreneur, a fundraiser and an active volunteer in your community.

You started four businesses while you were "just a mum". One was successful enough to make a living off of (Wee Honey Bee Childminding), one was as successful as you intended it to be (IntoBento), one scraped by but at least kept breaking even and gave you a lot of joy (TinyTalk), and the one that didn't work (Lori Borealis), you had the sense to drop early.  Ambitious! 

You trained as a breastfeeding peer helper with a national breastfeeding charity. You and your fellow peer helpers started your own local charity and did some really awesome things, including designing a campaign that the NHS of Greater Glasgow and Clyde still uses. You girls started a texting support service for breastfeeding mothers. You had annual general meetings, because you were a real non-profit. You got real speakers in to talk at your AGMs, because you were a real non-profit. You had a non-profit status bank account, because you were a real non-profit. Stop minimizing what you're doing. You and your friends were AMAZING and AMBITIOUS. Mummy brain? Not you ladies. So stop putting yourself down and thinking what you are doing is "nothing special".  Stop thinking you aren't really contributing much to society other than being a pretty good mum. I'd like to retroactively send all of you women a medal of honor. (Honour, rather.)

Um, also, don't forget you wrote and published a book?

Basically, what I'm saying is, stop putting yourself down and thinking you've "lost yourself" and you have "no ambition" and you "aren't smart".  You have always been ambitious in everything you've ever done.  Your priorities changed (and rightly so), but your drive didn't.

And I only JUST realized this very recently myself, so no fault to you for not seeing it whilst in the thick of it.

Love,

Lori (34 and still ambitious)

******

Dear Lori (31),

Your life is about to change in every way. I think you know this. I mean, obviously you know you are leaving your home in Scotland to go back to your home in Arkansas. That's going to change your life drastically. (And I should really go ahead and prep you for this - you won't be moving to Fayetteville when you get there. Scott's going to find a job in Little Rock in a matter of weeks, and you're going to live in Nowheresville for two years. I think it's best I just tell you this now.)  But things are about to change so much more.  Who you are, who you've always seen yourself as, is about to do a complete 180.  You sense this, but you aren't ready to accept it.

You're about to lose your faith.

It's going to destroy you.

I'm not gonna lie about that.

But I swear to you, it's only temporary. That darkness you feel right now is only temporary. I know there's nothing I can say to lighten the load you carry on your shoulders right now. I know there's nothing that can soften the blows you feel every time you pray and hear nothing from God.  I know those tears are going to fall and that they have to fall. Like a mother watching her child go through her first heart break, I feel powerless for you, knowing that things are going to get better but that you can't see that right now. I know this is something you have to go through to get to the other side, but it hurts me to see it and remember it for you.  So I guess all I can say is do everything you can to keep your faith alive. Pray with all your strength. Speak to anyone you trust about this. Write about it, talk about it, paint about it, run and exercise about it.  Because you need to know later that you did everything you could to hold onto that faith, and if God couldn't do the rest, well then, that's that.

The pain of silence and abandonment will pass, and when they do, you will find joy again. Joy unspeakable. Joy in the world as it is, not as it's written to be. You will find strength in yourself you never knew you had even though it was yours all along. You will find love and trust and freedom in ways you never believed could be found in a life without a god. 

But for now, there's no sense in telling you this, because there is no way you can believe it. So just keep doing what you're doing, because you're doing everything right.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Your whole life has been one as a caterpillar, and now you are being torn apart and squished and reshaped and it hurts so incredibly bad. But just wait.

Love,
Lori (34 and you would never believe what I call myself now...)

*****

Dear Lori (32),

Don't be too bummed about the Scottish referendum.  In a couple of years, there will be this thing called "Brexit"...

Love,
Lori (34 with a Scotland tattoo)

Let It Go...

I've decided to work on being more laid back this summer. I'm going to follow Elsa's example and let it go.

About some things at least.

I mean, there are things I'm not laid back about, that, in fact, I'm cracking down on. Home cleanliness is one of those things. I've made a rule that the girls' bedroom must have nothing left on the floor at bedtime. Anything left on the floor after they go to bed gets put in a bag, and they have to earn it back. I extended that rule to the living room too. With three kids plus all the extra kids who are welcome to pass in and out of my house all summer, I cannot face constantly cleaning up after everybody. So far (it's only been a week), the rule has been well-kept by the kids. They go down and wake up to a clean bedroom every day. And now maybe the living room will be the same.

I've also returned to my Motivated Moms app and have been using it long enough now that I no longer really check it daily, but leaving my kitchen clean has become more of a habit. It's not perfect every day, but it's better than it usually would be. My laundry is usually kept up to date, and I'm keeping the inside of the van clean. These are not matters I want to be laid back on.

But letting the kids be kids and do kid things is an area I need to chill out in. Lolly, for instance, loves to cut up paper and glue or tape it into works of art. I never want to quench her creative side, but I go a little mental when the kitchen table and floor is covered in tiny bits of cut up paper and glue spots and broken crayons and scissors in Jaguar's reach. However this summer, I'm determined to worry less about it. As long as crayons and scissors are put away, I'm going to let it go. I'm lucky she keeps her art projects to the kitchen table like she's supposed to, right?

Jaguar is a total boy's boy. He loves to get dirty. Yesterday at the park, he found the dirtiest, most disgusting soggy wet patch in the mud and splashed around in it. Then he slipped and landed right in the middle of it. He was covered from shoulders to feet. He got back up and kept jumping and splashing. I could feel the germs and amoebas crawling all over his skin, but I kept my composure. I stripped him to his diaper for the walk back home, hoping no one would judge me for my half naked toddler walking home in the blazing sun. His clothes - shoes and all - went straight into the washing machine.

And Fifi has become obsessed with gardening. I love that. It also means her fingers are always caked with soil and her clothes are stained. I'm going to just go with it. She and Lolly have been 'collecting worms' too, and while the worm habitats they are creating with plastic ice cream tubs will NOT be permitted in the house, I'm not freaking out over all the dirt. I personally hate mud and dirt, but I am making the conscious decision to let them play in the dirt all they want. They can wash their hands with the garden hose before coming in.

The garden hose. I'm going to get laid back about that too. It's hot outside. And yes, water costs money so they can't just play in the hose all day, but they can play with it some. They can fill up the paddling pool and jump in fully dressed. As much as that makes my twitch - I hate being wet and having my feet covered in grass cuttings - I'm not going to stress out about it. They are having fun, and they can strip down and dry off before coming into the house.

This afternoon, the girls were watering their plants, and I told them specifically not to get wet, because it was almost dinnertime. A few moments later I heard a shriek, and Fifi was standing on the porch with a wet streak across her hair and shirt. I almost shouted at Lolly for getting her wet after me telling them not to when I observed that Lolly was thoroughly drenched. I looked back at Fifi.

'Lolly sprayed me!' she shouted indignantly.

'Well it's pretty obvious you sprayed her first, so no complaining!' I returned. I nearly added an admonishment for disobeying me, but I caught a glimpse of the delight in Lolly's face over being totally soaked, and the relief in Fifi's that I didn't seem all that mad, and I just let it go. The kids played in the hose until the table was set and the dinner was out of the oven. Then I made them strip down and handed them towels. But not before I snapped this photo.


While they ran to their room to put on dry pajamas, I dumped the sopping clothes in the washing machine. No harm done. We ate our dinner happily, and I figured the water play was as good as having had their evening bath.

I hate mud and I hate mess, but I don't want my kids to hate summer. I'm going to let them get dirty and have fun. I'm going to let it go.

...But they're going to learn how to clean up after themselves too!

The Benefits of Having Little

Those of you who have been following my blog, or who know me in person, know what a challenge it was for our family to sell/give away everything we own to move back to the United States. From a three bedroom flat full to the brim in belongings, we whittled our earthly goods down to what fit into twelve suitcases (for a family of five) and a few boxes of keepsakes to be stored in my sister-and-brother-in-law's cellar. I don't know if that sounds as crazy as it was, but essentially it was something like this: each family member (except the baby) had one suitcase for clothes each, one suitcase was for kitchen supplies, two were for toys, one was for baby clothes, CDs and DVDs, one was for shoes (and that was AFTER getting rid of tons), two were for pictures, breakable items such as pottery and other meaningful items, and the last was basically miscellaneous bits and bobs we didn't want to lose. The boxes left in Scotland are full of photo albums and books and Christmas decorations that have sentimental value.

Now that we are in our new house, we have had so much support from family and friends in getting set back up. We have been given furniture, kitchenware and money, not to mention the loan of cars, to help us get started. But still, our belongings are pretty sparce.

We LOVE it.

If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. I'd do it even if we weren't moving. It was the most freeing experience I can imagine.

Friends of ours, Graeme and Emily, moved back to Canada after a few years in Scotland, and Emily really encouraged me. At first, the thought of losing everything was horrible. So many things felt so important to me, like the display units Scott's gran passed down to us, and paintings I had done, and... I can't even remember any more, but they all seemed irreplaceable. But Emily told me, 'It's all just stuff. You won't miss it.' I didn't believe her, right enough, but I adopted her attitude and tried looking at everything as just material goods.


Now, before I go further, there are two things I need to say. First, I am not about to talk about how great it is to lose EVERYTHING. We were not in a fire, we were not robbed. We chose what went and what stayed. We made the decision ourselves on what really meant the most. This is entirely different from having everything taken from you outside your control. Second, I am not saying we have NOTHING. We have the necessities. We have things beyond the necessities. I am not comparing us to anyone in poverty, and I do not meant to be insensitive and imply that poverty is great. Having little is not the same as having nothing.

Saying that, we have less now than most middle class people in the Western World, and it is a wonderful, clean, refreshing feeling.

First of all, everything I see now really does just feel like 'stuff'. If something breaks beyond repair, I can just throw it away. When I'm shopping and see something attractive, I can admire it without buying it. In fact, many of the things I kept, I now wish I hadn't kept, because they weren't really necessary come to think of it.

Having little means my house is easy to keep clean. I don't have mountains of things with no real purpose or place. The kids still have more toys than they need but not so many that they don't each one have a special allotted space to be stored. My dishes don't pile up, because I only have one set which I wash and reuse immediately. I even marked 'dish drainer' off my list of 'needs', because I only have a few non-dishwashable items, which I can handwash immediately, dry and put away. My laundry doesn't pile up, because we don't have enough clothes to allow it to. In fact, I am finding it so hard to make a full load each time I wash, that I run it on Small Load more often than Medium or Large. With the help of my Motivated Moms Chore Schedule, I'm finding it incredibly easy to get to all those little jobs that used to be overlooked by all the dishes, laundry, and clutter I used to have to sort through first.

Scott asked me if I miss anything. Really, the only things I miss are my books (I love love love to read), my cookbooks (I'm lost in the kitchen without them), and some of my bento supplies that got lost along the way (my hobby and for a short while, my business). I also miss my Pampered Chef stoneware, but I'm coping without it! Some things that I miss I do hope to replace eventually, such as my sewing machine, but at the moment, I'm surviving without them.

If it hadn't been utterly necessary, I would never have been brave enough to clear out my entire 'life'. It would have seemed impossible, not just because of my attachment to my earthly possessions, but also because of the obligatory feelings attached to things - gifts given to me that would seem rude or ungrateful to get rid of. A few months ago I could hardly have used this word, but luckily I HAD to get rid of all those things, and thanks to that, I feel so free.

How do I encourage others to do the same? It's hard. I don't expect anyone will be able to do it to the extent we had to without a good reason. But I categorically DO encourage everyone to start seeing everything they own as mere 'stuff'. Don't be afraid to give away or throw away. Think, 'Will I miss this ten years from now?' With your wardrobes, think, 'Do I NEED six different black t-shirts? Or could I just wash the one or two on a regular basis instead?' Above all, remember It is all just stuff. You won't miss it.

Every time I walk into my new house and see a bare floor, clean walls, and empty tables, I breathe a sigh of relief. When I open my tiny kitchen cupboards and see tidy rows and lots of extra space, I smile. When I visit my kids room and ask them to clean up, I know it can be done quickly and relatively painlessly. When my chore schedule says to clean out the shower, I know I can manage it, because the general tidying up clutter doesn't need to be done first and foremost. At night, when the kids go to bed, I can do a quick sweep and hoover and then relax, or if needed, fold a (single) load of laundry or iron some clothes while watching Scrubs on DVD. Because I don't have a house full of rubbish to tackle at all times. It's amazing.

In a few years, I'm sure I'll own more, and it won't be so easy then to just give it all up. But it's changed something inside me, the need and the desire to own things. I just hope I can inspire others in return to think differently about their possessions and not be afraid to let them go. At the end of the day, we don't need much to get by, even comfortably, and very few things really matter.

Except maybe books.

Time 2 Jam

I don't care if I sound like a broken record; this chore schedule app is rocking my world. My house is in a state of manageability at nearly all times. Granted, last week, when we were all hit with a sickness virus, the house somehow turned to disaster - though considering we were all in bed for 24 hours straight, I have no idea how it got so messy - I'm beginning to wonder if Gremlins actually do exist - but in general, I've been able to keep on top of things. And this is liberating.

For instance, my bathroom sink gets cleaned nearly every day. I go to bed most nights with clean kitchen counters and an empty sink. Dishes are not piling up. Laundry is not piling up. I am probably jinxing myself by saying this, but my house feels happy.

This leaves me time to do other things that I don't normally have the chance to do, things lower on the priority list. Yesterday afternoon, Lolly and I cleared out my wardrobe. Completely. I ditched my hanging shelves and put everything on hangers. Then? I colour-coordinated them.

Today, I had Lolly's best friend Eden over and a few other girls from their nursery to celebrate Eden's birthday. It didn't take long to get the house ready for guests at all. (With Eden's mum's help) I just had to put away a few breakfast dishes, wipe down the bathroom, and hoover. That left me plenty of time to ice a cake, feed a Jaguar and have a cup of tea with my friend. Incredible!

(Let me also interject that if it weren't for my clean house last night, making this checkerboard cake would have been twice as stressful. But since I didn't have the house to worry about, I was free to concern myself only with the fact that I didn't make enough batter to make three equal sized layers and that though the recipe said bake for 30-35 minutes, it only needed 15 and therefore one of the layers was rather... crispy.)

After the party (thanks to the mums who helped me put all the toys back away), my house was clean again, and it left me with spare time (!!), something I am unaccustomed to... at least guilt-free spare time. So I made jam.

I haven't made jam in a long time; it's not something that is a high priority, and it takes a lot of time, patience and attention. But with everything clean and up to date, I could actually envision myself standing over a boiling pot of fruit with a stirring spoon. So, I made jam.

My favourite jam is apricot, and it is so easy to make. I didn't have enough apricots to make the full recipe, so I made half. For the purpose of this post though, I'll give you the ingredients for a full batch. (Does jam get measured in batches?)

Apricot Jam
1 kg fresh ripe apricots, quartered and pitted (leave skins on)
juice of 1 lemon
250ml water
1 kg caster sugar (I'm sure granulated would work just fine too)
1 spoonful of butter

Stir together the apricots, lemon juice and water in a large saucepan and slowly heat, stirring occasionally. Once at a boil, reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes or until the fruit is soft.

Meanwhile, wash jars and sterilise by putting them in the oven for, oh, I don't know how long. I just put them in at the start of the process and take them out at the end.

Once the fruit has simmered and softened, remove from heat. You don't have to, but I like to mash it all up here with a potato masher to make the fruit bits smaller. Add the sugar and stir until dissolved. Add the spoonful of butter and return to heat, stirring until butter is melted.

Bring jam to a boil and allow it to boil rapidly for 15 minutes or so to set it. To check if it is set, you're supposed to chill a plate, spoon some jam onto it, wait a couple of minutes and then push it with your finger. If the surface wrinkles, it is set. Saying that, in all my jam-making years, I've never managed to achieve this wrinkly surface thing, so either I never let it boil long enough, or I am testing it wrong. Anyway, that's the theory.

Last, spoon jam into your warm, clean jars and close the lids tightly. To seal the jars, place the lidded jars into a saucepan of deep water (not covering the jars though) and bring to a boil. I don't know the magic number of minutes to leave boiling, I just boil for a wee while, 5-10 minutes, and then turn heat off. If you are using lids with the safety seal button, you should be able to push the button in after they have cooled a bit, and then you know they are sealed.

And voila, the yummiest apricot jam that will last for months, if left sealed. This jam won me (well, technically the Gaelic nursery) first prize at the Port Glasgow Bulb Show a few years ago. Either it's *that* good, or there were very few entries.

Either way, it's jam good on toast!

*Special tip - this jam is even awesomerly amazinger if you use both apricots AND peaches. I just didn't have any peaches. However, I can't remember if the peach skins need to be removed, it's been a long time since I made it that way. But I'm talking freaking YUM.

Chore Schedule Goes Mobile

A few years ago I discovered the Motivated Moms chore schedule* and lived by it for a good long time. I loved the easy way it planned out achievable daily and weekly chores in a checklist format. I got away from it though and just somehow couldn't get back into it again.

Then, a few months ago, they came out with a phone app, and I felt it could be just the thing I need. Then my friend Cheryl mentioned returning to it as a New Year's Resolution, so I decided I too would join her in this domestic endeavour. I downloaded the free trial version, and I love it! My kitchen counters are so excited about this.

Give the free two-week trial a try - it's available for iPhone and iPad, as well as Android. I love it!



*Check that link there for a more detailed rave on how much I loved it.

ODP Day 4: The Clear-out (Part 1)

Today's waistcoat inspired by everyone else in the Facebook group, who all seem to have worn one either yesterday or today!

Scott (who is taking these photos and is, sorry to say, not much of a photographer) told me
I looked like a pirate today with my waistcoat, boots, scarf and hoop earrings. Cheers, pal. My hair is wavy from yesterday's braids, and I'm also wearing pantyhose under my socks because it's brrrrr outside. (The hose had to get ditched midday because I got a run in them, and the boots got traded for black slip-ons because they were too awkward to put on and off every time I left or entered the house, which is about a million - or three - times a day.)

This was very much an experiment today, as I had no idea what to wear. And then of course I felt like a pirate all day. Still, one of the mums at nursery said to me 'Looking trendy as ever!' and while I don't normally consider myself trendy, I was delighted with the compliment. Especially considering I've been in the same dress for the past four days (and oh it shall continue!)

I have ideas for this weekend, though, for while Scott and I are away on our romantic (plus Jaguar...) weekend away. Lolly's nursery teacher was asking how I was going to do the dress for Halloween and suggested adding a white apron and being a French maid. I laughed and added that Scott and I are going away tomorrow... Haha! Adds a new meaning to getting this dress dirty! (Work it, girlfriend!)

******

To continue my theme of simplicity and anti-materialism in October, I dutifully started clearing out today, and being the sacrificial person I am, I began in... the children's room. Yes, I know, I know, so gracious am I, so thoughtful, so willing to part with things in the name of goodwill and higher ethics. My children will thank me for it one day.

Ahem.

Well, to be honest, it's the room that needed it the most! And it's breaking me in gently, this getting rid of needless, useless clutter, before I have to take on my own bedroom. I started with under the bed which brought back memories...

My older brother used to tell stories when we were kids of the adventures that could be had under my bed, finding the lost pyramids and whatnot. Come on, it couldn't have been that bad - could it? If the state of under my kids' bed is any indication, yes, it really is that bad.

I had a glorious time throwing away just about EVERYTHING (and discovering many long lost articles of worth almost as great as the pyramids themselves - like Fifi and Lolly's baby shoes! Gush!) and then hoovering up all the dust and bits. Oh, it looked amazing. I was sad to the bed back in its place. Now all that is under it is the girls' two Trunkis, their shoe storage box and a storage box for their doll clothes. If only it could last.

I then tackled their toy shelves. I threw out ALL toys that were broken or missing parts, no matter what, with the single small exception of a set of hand-painted wooden stacking boxes from Guatemala in which one of the boxes' lids has become detached. The lid is still with the set, so I kept it, with the intention that maybe one day I can fix it. I also threw out all toys I didn't want to keep or can't stand seeing sprawled all over the floor. I put kits together, stacked stackers, and dressed Barbies. It was almost like playtime.

******

One thing that has struck me in the past couple of days, as I've attempted to simplify and get things sorted, is that I'm lazy. I'm a pure lazy bisom. I realised I do a lot of 'I'll get around to that' with only half an intention of doing so. I put things off that are either too much effort or unpleasant. For instance, as I was finishing up some laundry last night and about to go to bed, I thought, 'I still haven't cleaned the bathroom. Och, I'll do it tomorrow.' Then it struck me: that's what I said yesterday too. So I got out my damn rubber gloves and cleaned the bathroom right then and there. And you know what? I was done in five minutes. It really wasn't that big a deal!

I did it again this morning. I wanted to wear boots with my dress this morning (Arrrr, matey), but they were still in my winter shoes box. Not that the shoe box is far away, or in a loft, or hidden under a lot of other boxes. No, it's just in my closet. With nothing on top of it. It does have a lid, so, you know, that takes some effort. I nearly just didn't wear boots today because I'd have to get into the box. Lazy! Once I recognised how ridiculous I was being, I opened the box and found on top a pair of boots I'd forgotten all about! Which is kind of like getting new boots! These are the ones I decided to wear today (shiver me timbers), leaving me with still more boots to choose from tomorrow.

I want to curb the laziness. It's one thing I didn't get from my mother - her drive. If she sees something that needs to be done, she just does it. She slots it into her immediate schedule and does it. I'm so much more procrastinating than that, but I want to change. If I see a wall, I should paint it, right? (Not right, because I rent, but you get the idea.) At the very least, I'd like to start getting things done when they could be done easily, instead of waiting until they become a major chore. I took a big step in the right direction after dinner tonight; I rinsed the dishes, put them in the dishwasher and ran it, wiped the table and hand-washed everything else that was left.

Here's the big secret: It was so much easier than doing it the next morning.





We are taking part in the October Dress Project in support of Macmillan Cancer Support. Please consider donating to our cause.

Positive Outlook for the New Year

Thank you God

Thank you God, for all I have to do today.
Thank you for this sink of dirty dishes,
It shows we have plenty to eat.

Thank you, for this pile of dirty, stinky, laundry,
It shows we have plenty of clothes to wear.

Thank you for those unmade beds in there,
They were warm and so comfortable last night
And I know there are many who have no beds.

Thank you for this bathroom complete with all the
Spattered mirror, soggy grimy towels and dirty commode,
They are so convenient.

Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator
That needs defrosting,
It is full of cold drinks and enough leftovers
For two or three meals.

Thanks God, for this oven
That absolutely must cleaned today,
It has baked so many things over the years.

The whole family is grateful for that grass that needs mowing,
The lawn that will need raking, we all enjoy the yard.

Thank you even for that slamming screen door,
My children are healthy and able to run and play.

Lord the presence of all these chores awaiting me
Says you have richly blessed my family.
I shall do them all cheerfully
And I shall do them gratefully.

Amen

-Author Unknown

Copied from the Motivated Moms website. Go get your chore schedule, it's only $8/£5.50!

40 Questions

40 Questions I Answer Annually:


1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Bought a tent and went camping with my family. Granted, we only went once, but I blame it on having started too late in the season. This summer, we'll be ready to go first thing.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Last year, Scott and I made resolutions for each other. Neither of us succeeded. I was supposed to get back into writing poetry. I wrote about one poem. BUT I did get back into something else... Theatre!

This year I have a long list of resolutions:
*Maintain chore schedule (I did okay on it last year, but could do better this year)
*Eat a healthier diet
*Blog more
*Finish reading through the Bible
*If I remember the rest (I've not actually written them all down), I'll add them (maybe).
EDITED TO ADD:
*Stop shouting (full stop)/ control anger


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Amanda and Rodger had Eilidh, Sheryl and Novi had Kayla.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My friend Shirley's husband died this year. I just can't imagine.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. Tain in the Highlands was the farthest I travelled.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Money. Any amount of money would do.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?
9-11 of September was Footloose. I'll remember that. And I'll remember 4-6 November when we went to Glenmorangie House!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Auditioning for and performing in my first on-stage theatre show in ten years! Everybody cut Footloose!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting signed off as a Breastfeeding Network Supporter. That one still stings.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing more than the usual colds, etc.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
That bottle of Glenmorangie Original that won us our free trip away!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
It's hard to answer this question, but this year I think I'll say Scott. Not only does he work his bum off everyday at a thankless job, but he then has let me go out several nights each week to play rehearsals and nights out with friends too. And that's besides the nights I'm working. He's been so patient and understanding about my newfound hobby. And encouraging too.

And beyond that, he's really been there for me as I go through all the emotional ups and downs I've experienced over the last year and a half with my parents' divorce. He's a really good, wonderful, loving husband. I even forgive him for not taking out the trash as often as he should. (But hey, boy, do it anyway!)


13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I think it's time to change this question. I never give it a serious answer, because the Blogosphere is not the place to hang your dirty laundry, or talk about people who have appalled or depressed you. So I'm changing it to...

13b. What regrets do you have about the past year?
Geez, I've replaced a hard one with a hard one. I regret the way I've spoken to my children on many occasions. Yes, Lolly is in the midst of her 'terrible twos' and Fifi can be a trying four year old, but some days I've just not been the mother I want to be to them. I hope I can change that.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, bills, bills. Wasn't that a song by Blaque?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Footloose! And then getting the part of Shelby in Steel Magnolias!!

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2010?
The Decemberists - Hazards of Love. Oh my heavens' sake, why did it take me so long to get into them? Only one other album has ever moved me so deeply, and I'll remember lying on the carpet in the living room in the dark, listening to this album late at night, trying to learn every word of every song and just feeling more alive than I ever have before. (Which is the same memory I have of that other album, Flaming Lips' Yoshimi, only that carpet was in mine and Katie's duplex in Fayetteville, and the carpet was nicer.)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? just as happy with the same moments of great sadness.
thinner or fatter? fatter, but maybe that was just the New Year's steak pie.
richer or poorer? I daresay poorer. Sucktastic.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Tennis, healthy eating, reading.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Shouting at my little darlings. I really need to get on the Agnus Castus (mark that up there on my resolutions.)

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Kids woke us up at 6. Santa had been. Opened presents. Kids peaked and crashed by 7. We all went back to bed except Fifi who stayed up playing with all the new toys until we got back up around 9.30 or 10. Then we had Christmas dinner at in-laws with Scott's family (minus Faisal, who had to work.)

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My mom and my dad. Separately. (Cue sad moment.)

22. What's your best memory from 2010?
Hmm. Trying to remember early on. But definitely performing in Footloose is one. Playing my first game of tennis in the summer with Kieran is another. Getting drunk with my sisters-in-law Katie and Rebekkah and my mum-in-law Marion and pouring our hearts out to each other, that is a great memory. And a great early on in the year memory would be going to the Tontine with Maria for our 'weekly' session (it happened that once) and getting drunk and making all kinds of plans that of course were ridiculous once we were sober. Ah, and even though it just happened, I think my night out with Carol and Maria to Flava and (again) getting drunk and having a great laugh with two of my favourite people in the world should be included. And speaking of favourite people, all summer hanging out with Heather and her wonderful daughters made for a very happy summer full of memories.

But best of all? Glenmorangie House with Scott and close friends.

23. How have you seen yourself grow as a person this year?
Yikes, easy on the hard ones (I made this one up last year). I've realised that maybe I'm not the kind of mum who can handle having hundreds of kids. I apparently do have a limit, which, while in the serene breastfeeding baby stage I never realised. But I've also realised that I control my own temper and my own attitudes and I just need to do that more often. I've learned I really, truly do need ritual and organisation in my life to keep me calm and sane. I've also (surprisingly) learned that I need a life outside my home. I've been content to be 'just a mum' up until this point, but now my kids are getting older, I've come to realise I need 'me' time again. As much as I would like to have at least one more child, I'm not sure I could go back to all that again. I guess I've just learned I am not and cannot be supermum; I can only be what I am, but on that I can improve.

24. What was your favourite TV programme(s)?
My new ones this year were Bodies and Glee.

25. What one special thing would you like to do in 2011?
I'm adding to this question. It will now be:

What one special thing would you like to do in 2011 and what other special plans do have for this year?
I'm doing that because what I would LIKE to do and what I PLAN to do are two different things, usually. I would LIKE to go back to America one last time before Fifi starts school. Won't happen though. :( I PLAN to become a childminder and start contributing again to our income. (TinyTalk, by the way, is actually doing much better this year, which is what I hoped for last year. So yay! But it's still not a stable enough income to live on.)

26. What was the best book(s) you read?
I didn't read a lot this year, which sucks but I've been rereading Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner and it is pure breaking my heart all over again. Big recommendation, folks.

I also read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Maybe not one for everyone, ha, but it has been excellent for me, the hippy natural girl.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Decemberists. Who I'm going to see in February! (Also going to see Ben Folds in March, but he's hardly a new discovery for me. Though his new album is new. And it's gooood.)


28. What did you want and get?
The part of Shelby in Steel Magnolias. And a job at Blockbuster.

29. What did you want and not get?
A trip back to America for my ten year high school reunion.

30. What were your favourite films of this year?
The Greatest and My Name is Khan. Both made me cry numerous times throughout. So, so good.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28 and had a murder mystery party at my house. It was good fun.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My year was actually very satisfying as it was. But yeah, I guess having gone home for reunion would've done it. But hey, we're in a depression. I'm lucky we are doing as well as we are.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Allowing myself to still feel young enough to pull off 'young' fashion. I allowed myself to wear shorter skirts with leggings, skinny jeans, and dresses with tights and ankle boots. Thanks, Thomas, for thinking I was only 19! It did my self-esteem wonders.

34. What kept you sane?
Developing my own life again. That includes going to rehearsals for shows, playing tennis, and getting into some new music. On the family front, spending time with people like Heather and Maria REALLY helped. They are both so motivated to do fun, outdoorsy stuff with their kids, and Heather in particular helps me feel calm and eager to control my anger when the kids are driving me bonkers.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Strangely, Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, I'm not 17 again (but I did love him in Titanic), but no really, he's been in some great films recently. Shutter Island, Inception, yeah, he's kinda gotten hot again.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Global Warming. Is it or isn't it?

37. Who did you miss?
All the mums I used to spend so much time with, but that I stopped seeing when I stopped doing breastfeeding support. I still see the IBfM committee at meetings, but feel very out of the loop now. So I miss those girls.

38. Who was the best new person (people) you met?
I met so many lovely people doing Footloose (and panto), it would be hard to name them all, and I wouldn't want to offend anyone. But I'll go ahead and give the short-but-by-no-means-conclusive list: Pauline B, Pauline C, Kieran, Lee, Lynda, and Jacqui T. There are so many others to add, but those are the people who have actually been in my house, so that's got to mean a bit more than just 'show-friend'ness. (But I'd still want to add Julie and Gordy who have not been to my house but that I *heart*.)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
I think I covered that in the how-I've-grown-as-a-person question... or maybe I just answered the wrong question up there. But a valuable life lesson? Grow to trust yourself and accept yourself, particularly the stuff you don't like or don't want. You don't have to tell other people what ugliness exists, but once you've acknowledged these things you see in yourself, you can begin to change them. But if you hide it from yourself, it just lingers and eats away at you and will even spill out when you're not being careful. And if there is something you like in yourself that you are afraid to show, try showing it in little bursts and see where it takes you (like auditioning for a musical!)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
There's no business like show business
Like no business I know.
Everything about it is appealing,
Everything the traffic will allow.
No where could you have that happy feeling
When you aren't stealing that extra bow.

There's no people like show people,
They smile when they are low.
Yesterday they told you you would not go far,
That night you opened and there you are.
Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star'
Let's go on with the show!

New Year's Resolutions

I wasn't quite sure if I was going to bother with resolutions, but resolutions keep coming to me. So here's some things I'm toying with possibly resolving:

*Blog regularly
*Re-attempt to read through the Bible. I got halfway through the old testament this year before letting it slide until it slowed right down to a halt somewhere just after arriving in Matthew (and having skipped 1st/2nd Chronicles, the second half of Job and then Psalms all the way through Daniel to keep trying to catch up from where I'd slacked off). So I'm going to attempt reading it over TWO years so the daily readings aren't so long.
*Start a morning wake-up schedule to help me get my mornings (and thus my whole days) on track.
*Go back on my 'common sense' diet.

Oh, and as always,

*Get back on my chore schedule. I love that thing.

40 Annual Questions

40 Questions I Answer Annually:


1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Became interested in gardening. I planted several pots with flowers and fruit this past summer and really enjoyed watering them and watching them grow. And eating them!

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I did not make a resolution last year, and it's a good thing too. I never would've kept it. This year I intend to read more books. And Scott and I have made resolutions for each other, things we know the other would like to start doing but don't have the motivation for. So Scott has resolved that I will get back into writing poetry. (I've resolved that Scott will get back into woodworking.)

Also plan on re-instituting the chore schedule for my new home.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Cheryl and Matthew gave birth to Caleb. Graeme and Emily gave birth to Violet. Pete and Rebekkah gave birth to Juliette, our second niece.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Scott's family's lifelong friend Frank passed away this year. I only knew him for 4 years, but I loved him very much, just as the rest of Scott's family did. My love goes out to his family this holiday season, as it will have been a hard one.

5. What countries did you visit?
Went to the States in April.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A better turnout in my TinyTalk classes! And a profit! Wow, that would be amazing, to actually make MONEY while working...

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
June 10, knowing that was the day my mom first decided out loud she wanted a divorce. :(

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting up a very successful breastfeeding text messaging service (with the help of my BfN colleagues!) where pregnant mums can join up and are assigned a 'buddy' whom they can use for support in the early days of breastfeeding. It's going on six months, and it's great!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Falling off the chore schedule wagon. But I'm getting back on for 2010!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was involved in a car accident (their fault) in July and suffered whiplash. I am fine now, though, and pleased to be getting a pretty settlement!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our new car!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Fifi and Lolly's. Fifi has been so fantastic with her new baby sister, and Lolly is the sweetest, most contented, easy to look after baby I've ever met. Let's hope both children continue on in the same vein!

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
:(

14. Where did most of your money go?
As always, bills. Council tax, in particular! But for the first time in years, we've actually started putting money in savings, which feels kinda grown up and nice.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Christmas! And moving house. I *heart* our new house.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2009?
Just For Now by Imogen Heap. It's an old song, and the album itself reminds me of being pregnant with Fifi, but that song took on new meaning this holiday season as I had to put aside family hurts because 'it's that time of year, leave all our helplessnesses aside, just for a little while'.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier, with great periods of sadder.
thinner or fatter? thinner, though this Christmas season has beefed me back up a bit!
richer or poorer? about the same financially, but exceedingly richer in spirit!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Rushing about trying to do a million different things instead of just enjoying my kids. This year I am going to cut back on all my responsibilities and volunteering and really make memories with my kids.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas morning (5am) woken up by Fifi. (Made her stay in bed until 6.) Checked to see if Santa had eaten his milk and cookies and brought presents. Opened presents. Went back to bed.

Had Christmas dinner at in-laws with Scott's family and my dad.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Last year it was my mom. This year it was my dad.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I'm going to need to change this question and the following question. This is always the same... just falling more in love with kids and hubby. Next one is always no. So new question to replace this one:

22b. What's your best memory from 2009?
It's hard to remember all year, as I'm sure there are lots of good memories, so I'll list a few good ones: going to Nardinis in November with Carol and Maria and all six of our kids; eating out on my patio table at the old house during the summer and lying on a blanket in the grass under an umbrella; Club Noir with Paula, Debbie and Heather; visiting my old high school in April with Jessica and feeling like a celebrity in Mrs Balgavy's class; and Lolly's dedication ceremony.

23. How many one night stands in this last year?
Nada. New question:

23b. How have you seen yourself grow as a person this year?
I've realised that in order to grow and protect the things I love, I have to be fully honest with myself about who I am and what I am capable of. Whether it be in regards to me as a mother, a wife, a daughter or a professional, I have to be willing to admit, at least to myself, my shortcomings and then work hard to rein those things in and resist the temptation to give into them. It's almost like keep your friends close and your enemies closer; in this case, my enemies are my own weaknesses.

24. What was your favourite TV programme(s)?
One Tree Hill. That was my new one. I still watched a LOT of Scrubs as usual.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Man, I want to change this question too. I'm not a big hater. And even if I were, I wouldn't blog about who I hate. So new question:

25b. What one special thing would you like to do in 2010?
I'd like to go to my 10 year high school reunion. But seeing as that is highly unlikely, I'd like to go on some kind of interesting holiday to somewhere. All four of us.

26. What was the best book(s) you read?
I didn't manage to read much at all this past year. It was kind of all a blur having two kids to look after. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish was probably the best book I read. It really changed the way I deal with Fifi and made a significant difference. Now that's she's a bit older, I think it's time to reread it. I'm starting to retreat back into my old ways! (If you have kids, this is my official recommendation to go find this book and read it.)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Does anyone else have time to discover music with small children? If so, please give me recs.

28. What did you want and get?
A new home. And while it's still a rental, I'm perfectly happy with that. Not gonna buy now anyway. It would be silly to buy now. So all I wanted was a bigger place, and boy did we get one!

29. What did you want and not get?
A Xyron 500. And a new telly.

30. What were your favourite films of this year?
Harry Brown may have been one of the only films I saw this year, but I liked it a LOT. And the new Harry Potter (was that 2009? I don't even know).

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 27 and let's see, what did I do? I have a feeling this year I did nothing... Was I in America for my birthday? No, I left the weekend after. So chances are, I was packing.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Can I be really sad here and say having my parents still together? :(

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Trying to look hip again? While trying to lose weight and still being able to breastfeed in any item of clothing? On a budget?

34. What kept you sane?
Lolly's amazing ability to sleep almost through the night from birth. I. Love. Sleep. (Fifi, however, is hellbent on making sure we DON'T get sleep, as she wakes us up religiously at 6am every morning.)

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
*EDITED* Scratch my original lame answer. Dev Patel from Slumdog Millionaire -- Talk about yummy! Mm mm mmmm.... break me off a piece-a dat!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Besides the obvious answer of the economy, there was that one woman who widely and publicly criticised the Prime Minister for misspelling her son's name in the hand-written, personal letter of condolence after he was killed in Afghanistan. I mean, seriously? He's the Prime Minister and he takes the time to personally hand-write every letter of condolence to every family who loses a loved one in combat, and you are going to publicly criticise his 'insensitivity' for misspelling a man's name that he's never even met but cares enough about to personally hand-write you a letter? That just pissed me off. I'm no Gordon Brown fan, but that is just ridiculous, lady.

37. Who did you miss?
My parents. And I really found myself missing my brothers and sisters-in-law. I really wish I could get to know Danny and Matt and Charity better and have more of a relationship with them. I'd love for Fi and Lolly to know them as more than just names and photographs.

I also really miss Carol and her boys. I hope they are having a great life in Abu Dhabi, but I think they were better here!

38. Who was the best new person (people) you met?
Can I tell you a secret? I have a total girl-crush on Jane. Shhh, don't tell.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Please, please take time to protect your marriage. Take the effort to work out differences, even when it seems like too much work. Don't just keep things inside, bottled up, or hope they will work themselves out or go away. Take time to be a couple, even if you are also parents. Care about the things that make your spouse happy, even when they don't seem a big deal to you. Even though I never believed this before, please put your spouse ahead of your children - in your heart, at least, because in reality, your children will take the majority of your time and energy. But if you leave your spouse on the periphery, irreparable damage can be done.

Guard your marriage with your life.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more


(For funnsies: 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008)

The Abridged Version

So many things to write about, so little time.

Here's the abrigded, annotated version.

1. Fifi's second birthday party was great. We held it at the church, where the kids had loads of room to go mad. Fifi loved the cake, especially the candles, which she tried to put her finger in. She is now two. My baby girl is two. I could cry.

2. I have totally gone all out with this bento box thing. See pictures here. I love putting these lunches together at night as one of my chores (see below for info on chores). I love thinking about what fresh fruit and tiny snacks to buy for the week. Scott told me to hold off buying too many accessories until I know for sure this obsession will last. I think it will. I'm constantly learning new tricks, and new dos and don'ts, for successful bentos. One don't I've learned - don't pack crispy things in the same tier (without a plastic divider) with juicy things. Yes, funnily enough, juice moves and makes crispy things soggy! Learning all the time.

So I've gone a bit mad with this obsession. On the way, somewhere in the international post, I have silicon cupcake cups, mini sauce bottles (shaped like tomatoes), two bento boxes, two bento box straps, a set of dividers and three bento box bags. eBay and Ichiban Kan are my new best friends.

3. My children are sick. Fifi's very unwell (high temps, throwing up, runny nose, etc) and Lolly just has a cold. I cannot get sick with them. And if I do, it needs to be between Tuesday and Thursday, since my TinyTalk classes are on Mondays and Fridays.

4. The snow is falling outside again, and it is lovely. I'm supposed to go to Scott's parents' house for dinner tonight and then to the grocery store, but I think it will hinge on the snow.

5. Fifi is doing really well with her potty training. Even sick, she's using it. She woke from her nap to ask me to change her nappy, poor thing. I just read The No-Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and I think I've got enough tools under my belt now to get really started. Oh my.

6. I've got tickets to America!! I fly out, with my two offspring, on the 5th of April, and return on the 30th. I do not pretend to know how I'm going to travel on my own with two children, and I certainly don't know how I'll travel with a newly potty trained/still training toddler, but I'm ignoring those minor details. I'll be in Arkansas for almost a whole month! So exciting! Mean Pig, Dixie Cafe, Taco Bell, Red Lobster, here I come! (Can you tell what it is I miss most about the States?)

7. My chore schedule from Motivated Moms is genuinely changing my life domestically. I've been using it religiously since the start of January. My house is now in a perpetual state of almost clean. Usually all that is needed to spruce it back up is a toy pick-up and a few dishes put in the dishwasher or handwashed. My enthusiasm has kinda sagged today and yesterday due to sick kids, but it's still in good order. And Sundays and Saturdays are restful days anyway, according to the schedule. And even yesterday I managed to dust Fifi's room, hoover (okay, Scott hoovered), and scrub the stove, along with the normal daily chores of laundry, dishes, etc. Today I've done very little besides lying in bed, cuddling and nursing sick children, but that's okay. It's the Sabbath. (Not really... Sabbaths are sundown Fridays to sundown Saturdays, but you know. Modern Christians don't have a clue anyway, so we just say Sunday as if we do.) Anyway, I can now feel comfortable just inviting someone over to the house on the spur of the moment without embarrassment. I can even leave the bedroom doors open, since the beds are always made and the laundry is usually somewhere within the normal range for a family of four! And the toilets! Usually clean! Please, come pee at my house.

8. Fifi got her first full haircut. She is cute as can be. She sat very still for the hairdresser. She looks like Ramona Quimby. I could eat her up.


Okay... I think that's all for now. Pretty good catch-up, don't you think? Valentine's Day plans on the way. I think I'm going to attempt this, if I can ever get the time.

Domestic Goddess....

You know what's changing my domestic life?

Motivated Moms.

This chore planner is the best thing I've ever come across in the chore-planning world. When I've tried to make my own planners, or when I've used a ready-made one, I find that the daily projects are too big - like 'clean kitchen' or 'clean bathrooms'. Those kind of jobs take a block of time to do and therefore never get done. But the Motivated Moms chore planner is brilliant. The daily jobs are jobs that just need to be done daily, but if you don't get around to them, it's not the end of the world. But they're mostly things you can do in a jiffy, like wipe bathroom sinks. That takes no longer than a minute, and I can do it after washing my hands after using the loo! Then each day of the week has a few odd jobs to do, like 'clean the middle shelf of the refrigerator' or 'water indoor plants'. Things I can totally do! And things I'd never get done if I'd had the job 'clean kitchen' in front of me.

I feel like bit by bit my house is getting clean. It's not always tidy, but when you look at my stove, it's been scrubbed! Inside my fridge is getting spotless! My kitchen sink is nearly always empty now!

The best thing about this checklist is that it has tick boxes. You get to tick off the jobs as you do them. I love ticking boxes, and I hate seeing boxes unticked, which motivates me to get more done. But there's no guilt when some of the jobs are left undone, because you know that job will creep back up in a week or two. I feel so... motivated! I'm on the third week of the calendar. I feel like this one might last.

It's $8 to buy the planner for the year, which comes to about £4 or £5. No biggie. Especially not for how good it's making me feel.

Also making me feel good about my house are the essential oils I purchased (www.justessentialoils.co.uk) and have been using in the laundry. My house smells like eucalyptus currently and will probably smell like tea tree when I put the load of nappies up to dry. Mmm. I put some grapefruit in my bath this morning too and that helped wake me right up from my slumber state. I think I'll use a drop in my iron too. I wonder if Scott would be opposed to smelling like ginger at work?

Unexpected Lazy Day

Sometimes I think life has a way of just deciding for you that you need a break, despite your best efforts.

I had my day planned, and it was packed with busyness. The plan was to drop Scott off at work, do my reports for my at-home job, take Fifi swimming, and then, while Fifi inevitably slept off her exhaustion afterwards, I'd work very hard on my business until she woke up or it was time to pick Scott up.

So I dropped Scott off and took Fifi to her grandparents' so I could do my reports. I finished them in just enough time to make it to swimming class. After swimming, I had a bite to eat with my new friend Maria and her little Caspar, then Fifi and I headed home for her usual extremely long post-swimming nap. It was lovely; Fi fell asleep in the car and remained asleep even after carrying her inside and putting her in her swing. I sat down at my usual working spot (the couch) to get working. I reached for my laptop...

And discovered I'd left it at Scott's parents' house.

Looking at my sleeping angel, I couldn't imagine waking her to go pick up my laptop, so I called my mum-in-law to see if she could run it over. She wasn't home. I sat in my quiet house and looked about me. Thanks to my chore schedule, most of my chores were done.

I had nothing to do.

Suddenly, millions of exciting ideas hit me. Oh, the possibilities! First things first, I went to the kitchen and made myself a hot cup of tea, a very special treat these days. Then I realised I could finally make that banana bread I keep buying bananas and letting them rot for! So I made banana bread. While it baked and the delicious aroma drifted all through the house, I sat down with the book I've been trying to get through (Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner). Fi woke briefly for a feed and then went right back to sleep! For the rest of the afternoon! I'm telling you, I hardly knew what to do with all the free time. I did a few loads of laundry and unloaded the dishwasher, but mostly I just chilled. I had several cups of (hot!) tea and several slices of (hot! undisturbed!) banana bread. I phoned my mom. I read about half my book.

No matter how much I wanted to finish up my business stuff (which is about 90% ready to open!), having a day like I had today was the best thing going.

Moving Forward

Yesterday was the funeral for Gran. What is there to say? It was nice. It really was. Fifi was mostly well-behaved. June is with the Lord now, and her suffering is over.

With the funeral over, I finally feel able to get back into the swing of normal life. For a week, life was not normal. I couldn't face mundane things, like housework or blogging. But now, life must go on. So today I took life by the reins and got back in control.

I turned my chore schedule 3-D.



With an A4-sized card and a little magnetic tape, I am now able to quickly and easily plan my week in terms of chores, errands, organised events and meals.



I also got into the kitchen and made those peanut butter teddy bears I've been wanting to make. It felt good to bake something. But the teddies are so cute, I can't bear (haha) to eat them.



I've also gotten a bit further with my cards. I've got four different handmade styles made up and about six different digital graphic examples. I've mixed the two mediums quite a lot for a look I hope is quite unique. And my personalised stamps I created have been made and should be in the mail tomorrow. I sure hope all this work is not for nothing... one job at least is all I need to break even on all the supplies I've purchased.

So anyway, I guess things are getting back to normal now. Tomorrow Fifi and I will go to her swimming class. On Saturday we'll go to Justin and Lorna's wedding. And so forth.

Chore Schedule

Thanks for all the advice from folks to my SAHM Guilt post. My aunt recommended, and I believe a few others seconded, making a chore schedule. I've been told by many a mother that they are invaluable, but I just couldn't get around to organising one.

Well, I finally did it, and wouldn't you know, it's made a world of difference! I started it on Monday, and I already feel so much more organised. Because I know I only have certain things I must do each day, I feel compelled to do them fully without worrying about the rest of the house. Pretty much I was just doing a half-assed job of all the chores rather than properly doing any of them.

So today I tidied the bedrooms and cleaned the bathroom. It felt good. I was able to put Fifi in her old cradle, which has not yet been dismantled, with a toy and get down to business organising her stuff. I put away clothes she's outgrown, pulled out clothes she might now fit in and put her books in the shelf. I still need to hoover her room, but I figure I can do that tomorrow on Hoover Day.

Yesterday was Tidy the Living Room day. I didn't quite get it to the level of tidy I'd have liked, but it's getting closer. The main reason is because I have my art stuff all spread out on the coffee table and don't want to put it away since I'm still using it. The clay models I'm making for Lorna and Justin's wedding are very much in-progress, and I'm working on them a little nearly every day, so putting that stuff away would just be frustrating. Once they are completed, I'll be able to get the living room looking better. And it felt good yesterday to get my hands in some dishwater and get some pans and casserole dishes scrubbed and put away. Ahh. Organisation. And Fifi is at a lovely stage where she is happy to entertain herself with toys for a good amount of time, but she can't yet crawl and get away. Soon this stage will be replaced with Mobile Baby stage, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

She's sleeping right now, and my chores are done. Maybe this will even mean more future blogging!

The Hosptial - My Second Home

I have yet another hosptial appointment today. In case you haven't been talking to me personally, let me just sum up the visits I've been having to make: a 35 week scan, a 36 week scan and consultant appointment scheduled for a Thursday but cancelled due to snow and scan rescheduled for the Friday, a 37 week scan yesterday and chat with obstetrician, and consultant appointment rescheduled from Thursday to today. I feel like I'm never out of there.

In interesting developments, but developments not interesting enough to make a difference, my placenta has moved a significant amount, but not significantly enough to change the necessity of a cesarean. In medical terms (because I'm totally down with it now), from a mainline view, the placenta is 3cm away from the os, but from a rightside view, it is less than 2cm. Some experts say 2cm is enough for a vaginal birth, but unfortunately, in my situation, the placenta is still wrapped around the baby's head somewhat, and though the bit that is less than 2cm away is thin, 1cm from that is a cotyledon which would be very bad to rupture. The obs said they'd be happy to keep doing weekly scans if that's what I want, but he also sort of implied that there probably isn't much point. He was a good doctor; both Scott and I really liked him. I trusted his opinion, as he very clearly showed us how it would all work, by indicating how far the cervix would dilate in vaginal labour, where the head would be engaging and by labeling the scan pictures with all the necessary terms for us to take home and to show the consultant. He also explained how and where the cesarean incision would be done, which was helpful to me. He gave me some grave facts about how the cesarean would take place, but those are the kind of facts I've been wanting someone to give me.

My midwife will be attending this consultation with me today. I'm very grateful, as Scott has to be at work. My midwife is great and seems to be in agreement with me and Scott about all the decisions we're having to make. I'm really, truly glad we hired her. I may not be getting my homebirth, but I could not have asked for a better carer throughout my pregnancy and beyond. She'll be around after the baby is born too to help me with breastfeeding and post-natal care. She's great. I highly recommend her.

So anyway, if a date ever gets decided upon... well, I was gonna say I'll let you know, but I might not! I don't know if I'll want to keep it to myself and close family and friends or not. But you WILL know when the baby is born, complete with pictures, because Scott won't be allowed to stay at the hospital with me all day, so blogging will be one of his many chores while I'm laid up with a big slice in my gut. That and washing the nappies I send home with him everyday from the hospital.

At some point, for anyone who is interested, I plan on posting my birth plans (the one I had for vaginal delivery in case I should need to deliver in hospital and the one I have for my cesarean) somewhere on my site for anyone who is thinking of writing a birth plan themselves but don't know where to start. Obviously our plans will be different, but maybe mine will help someone get started. Allison (my midwife) said my birth plans were excellent, and then we both chuckled at the thought of the doctors reading them. They'll probably just laugh. But who cares? I'm going to make a pretty sign to hang on the wall above my bed stating the most important parts of my plan so any nurse/midwife/doctor who comes to my bedside will be sure to know what I do and do not consent to. :) I'm going to be a PAIN. It's my right, after all.